1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

feeling despondent

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by confusedaspie, Mar 5, 2011.

  1. confusedaspie

    confusedaspie New commenter

    Its my first time on here but you all know what its like, its hard to find people to talk to in a similar situation! I am 28, got married last summer and been ttc for about 10 months. I have endometriosis and a cyst on my ovary and just always had a feeling, even when I was younger that I would never be pregnant, has anyone else ever felt this? Feeling very down at the moment as for the last three months me and my husband have not been able to bd at all, the pressure is too much for him and he is a nervous person. We have tried everything, not doing it, taking it slowly etc etc and nothing. I am so despondent as it means each month goes by with no chance and each month my endometriosis is getting worse. To top all this off, a colleague who got married at the same time as me, who then has cheated on her husband TWICE since then at a staff do with another colleague, is pregnant and she wasn't even trying. I cant help feeling she doesn't deserve it and it shouldn't but it makes me angry. Another colleague is also pregnant. Its so hard. Thanks for listening to my ramblings just wanted to let off!x
     
  2. confusedaspie

    confusedaspie New commenter

    Its my first time on here but you all know what its like, its hard to find people to talk to in a similar situation! I am 28, got married last summer and been ttc for about 10 months. I have endometriosis and a cyst on my ovary and just always had a feeling, even when I was younger that I would never be pregnant, has anyone else ever felt this? Feeling very down at the moment as for the last three months me and my husband have not been able to bd at all, the pressure is too much for him and he is a nervous person. We have tried everything, not doing it, taking it slowly etc etc and nothing. I am so despondent as it means each month goes by with no chance and each month my endometriosis is getting worse. To top all this off, a colleague who got married at the same time as me, who then has cheated on her husband TWICE since then at a staff do with another colleague, is pregnant and she wasn't even trying. I cant help feeling she doesn't deserve it and it shouldn't but it makes me angry. Another colleague is also pregnant. Its so hard. Thanks for listening to my ramblings just wanted to let off!x
     
  3. Confused I know its hard but 10 months really isn't that long. As I just posted on the ttc thread the average is 6 months - therefore for every person who is lucky it takes someone else ages.
    Have you had your endometriosis treated? I have a friend who had some kind of op for this and then got pregnant 2 weeks later.
    I also think that the pressure thing is really common - my OH has limits too. It isn't reality that men are firing from everywhere all the time.
     
  4. Oh and in terms of feeling you won't ever be pregnant - it's a bit of a surreal thing to imagine I think even when you are pregnant. When I was pregnant with my daughter it didn't really sink in I was having a baby (god knows what I did think I was having!)
     
  5. I think everyone thinks they may be infertile at some point- having a baby is such an odd concept, but it must be different with the cyst. I know a lot of people who tried for a long time but it did happen, though I know with each passing month it gets harder.
    It won't do any harm going to the doc to talk through any fertility issues
     
  6. ((Hey confused)) Sorry things are hard for you at the moment. Come and join the 'TTC for ages' thread, there are lots of ladies on there who can sympathise with you and who can help to pick you up, dust you off and listen to anything that you want to get off your chest. Take care. x x x
     
  7. toeinwater

    toeinwater New commenter

    Good advice Miss B (as always!) We're a friendly, if loopy bunch (obviously I speak only for myself) who have a wealth of experience in the ttc stakes, with a range of highs and lows.
     
  8. becky70

    becky70 New commenter

    I'd suggest seeing your doctor as you have specific concerns. If your endometriosis is getting worse this needs addressing - I think there are things that can be done, although I'm not a sufferer myself.
    You are only 28 which gives you quite a lot of time to play with. Sounds like you and your OH need to rebuild your physical relationship first - you know you're going to get nowhere if he feels under pressure so try to find ways to sort this. Maybe forget ttc for a ferw months while you get your health issues sorted?
    I understand your anger and frustration with other people who become pregnant easily especially when you feel they are undeserving. I have been trying to become pregnant for sevearal years now and it is difficult to watch others obtain easily what you struggle unsucessfully for. It is a normal part of unsuccessful ttc.
    Hope things improve soon and big hugs - it is hard.
     
  9. Yes but I think with hindsight it was a weird 'self'preservation' emotion. There is no reason at all why you won't become pregnant. You're young & I'm assuming generally healthy (despite the endo & cyst)? How are your monthly cycles? Do you feel ovulation? I had a cyst on my ovary when I was younger the size of an orange. I ended up losing the ovary (as it had effectively taken over the ovarian tissue) so I knew when ttc I only ovulated from one side (albeit every month, happily). Do you know if your cyst is large? Could it be worth having it removed? If it's not too large you can have key-hole surgery rather than the full 'caesarean' cut I had. Also what about treatment to remove the endo? Is this possible for you? When the surgeon removed my cyst he also removed some endo too....
    This is a natural emotion to have - I understand exactly how you feel as I used to feel like that. It took 18 months or so for me but I now have a baby who is very precious indeed. Try to remain positive. It WILL happen for you. I agree with the idea of having a break from ttc. Actually that's what we did for the 4 months before i fell pg! Hugs to you x
     
  10. It is hard - the thing with getting pregnant quickly is that it is largely luck.
    I am on my 6th cycle TTC right now. Last time I stopped taking the pill and got pregnant on a Saturday night while I was 'waiting' for my first cycle. I only dtd twice that month!!!!
    I guess I'm lucky, not just because I have a gorgeous daughter but because I have more faith in the fact it will happen than if I was trying for my first.
    I reckon that if it was that quick last time by rights it should be a year this time, then it is the 'average' 6 months.
     
  11. And I was extremely undeserving, when I found out I was shocked rather than excited so can see both sides!
     
  12. Hun, get a second opinion. Go private if you have to (I went to a private gynae & consultations cost around £60 or £100 with a scan - worth every penny for quality care I believe). You sound as though you are a little in the dark about the state of your lady bits & I reckon it would help you to cope better.... Also, cysts grow, you really should get it checked out again.
    That sounds like ovulation to me! I have always had that & found it to be more painful than period pain! It won't be anything sinister. If your gut feeling is it's ovulation it will be.
    Yes it's damn hard & no, I'm not stronger than you. In fact the whole ttc thing almost tipped me over the edge at the time. I had counselling for it & carried around the unmentionable fear that I'd never conceive. It consumed my life & even affected my work & some of my close relationships. Please try not to feel as though you're already beaten. There is so much hope for you. Try to keep that bit of hope & faith no matter how small. When I fell pregnant we'd had a 4 month break & a mega holiday. I stood back from everything (easier to do when you're on the other side of the world let me tell you!) & decided to make some changes to my life & outlook. Ironically I fell pg very quickly after that. PM me if you want to. Stay strong! x
     

Share This Page