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Feeling depressed on PGCE

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by missmichelle85, Nov 1, 2009.

  1. I feel the same, all i seem to get is negative feedback. i'm trying to work on the improvements my tutor gives me but its hard, i'm expected to make new resources and try loads of new things, think i'd rather just stick with the old stuff for now and survive and when i feel more comfortable infront of a class and have some of the other stuff sorted then i'll try new stuff out.
    I feel like crying all the time, lesson planning seems to take so much time and then i teach it and it just gets ripped apart. An i get told to be more postive, or more enthauastic, i'm too busy worrying about all the other stuff.
    I knew this course would be tough, but i dont think i have the skills yet to do all that is expected of me. and i'm suppose to be collecting documents to prove i'm using assessment and about inclusion in the school to write an essay over xmas. I sit every nite and finish off the lessons for the next day, find slideshows or make new ones, read through websites and for what, a load of negative comments.
     
  2. I finally got to see my GP today, after having to wait a week for an appointment! He has signed me off for two weeks as well as the two weeks I have already had off. My mum has spoken to school and uni and they gave me the choice to interrupt or withdraw, but they have been really supportive. I am still unsure what to do, but I think I'm more inclined to interrupt instead of totally withdraw, so I still have the option.
    I feel like I'm letting so many people down, I have told my dad and boyfriend that I am on study leave as they don't understand the course at all. My dad would just say depression is a myth and would have no sympathy. I also feel like I've let the kids in my classes down too, as they did nothing to upset me at all. I just want to get better though and start feeling myself again.
    I would suggest to anyone else to do what they feels right, I knew if I carried on I would have either had a car accident or broken down in class and got worse. I just need to know that having this happen doesn't make me a total failure, that's the hard part.
     
  3. Dobbinstar

    Dobbinstar New commenter

    For what its worth I think that the choice that you have made is the bravest one because you have out your own needs first and in a situation like this, there is nothing selfish in that. Many people would have soldiered on, doing themselves a great deal of damage in the process.

    You are absolutely right. What use would you be as a teacher if you were too distraught to teach or worse?


    Doing what feels right is the only way.

    Now you need to think about how to get the support and understanding that you need from those closest to you.

    Best wishes


    Rob
     
  4. hiya!
    im doing a 14 to 19 PGCE and im struggling (i seem to be the only one in my placement who is!) i put this down to me having problems i do im deaf and dyslixic and some times i "just dont understand"!
    having to travel on 2 buses and a train that runs very infrequently i often have problems getting to the placement on time. i was toldby my school that i need to pull my socks up! and if i dont improve (judged on a last lesson on a friday) they would be contacting my uni! i was in tears on the train home!!!
    im really scared that i will get taken off the course.
    im enjoying it but im getting over loaded with paperwork and planing combined with the lack of sleep im in bits.
    meeting up with my cohort and lectures at the weekend really put things in perspective which made me feel more positive. sill have bad dreams about the whole thing tho!
    all my fellow students keep saying it will get better im just wanna know when????
    sorry this was meant to be a chery rant but it seens ive made myself more depressed too your not alone!!!!
    good luck
     
  5. Its nice to know i'm not the only one. Had a good chat to my partner last nite and he now understands why i've been so stressed. now i have his support hopefully it will help me feel better.
    How are you suppose to be positive with the pupils when u feel like this?
    I have a count down list on my wall, figured out last nite i have 14 days left in school (wkends dont count), and 27 lessons to teach. Its not alot and then its xmas hols and i can catch up on sleep, assignments and reading and hopefully start placement 2 feeling better and i know this time how to prepare myself better while i'm in school. (so i have learnt something).
    hopefully we can use this to rant abit, ask for advise and help us to survive this course.
    goodluck

     
  6. pathaniakaran00

    pathaniakaran00 New commenter


    I started the PGCE course in September. Failed my first placement due to behaviour management and subject knowledge. I took everything on board by my mentor and applied it to practise. It still was not good enough. The mentor expected me to know the curriculum inside out. I find unrealistic as other colleagues on the course do not know the curriculum inside out themselves.

    I took the option of deferring and start the course in September.

    I did feel devastated being told I failed. and let down by my mentor. I felt whatever I did she was not happy with. However now thinking of getting work as a TA and will see if I feel like going back in September and start again.


    I appreciate useful advice.
    Thanks.
     
    pepper5 and pcsmush like this.
  7. pcsmush

    pcsmush Occasional commenter

    I think you made the right decision by deferring. It will give you time to breathe and reassess the situation. I think getting some more experience is a wise move. If you can't find any work as a TA, I would recommend just getting some general experience.

    Unfortunately it seems like your mentor was working against you almost in this placement, but here's hoping your next mentor is willing to work with you. :)

    If you want some more specific advice about behaviour management or the curriculum, feel free to make your own threads and we'll try to help you to the best of our abilities. :D

    Good luck, Hun!
     
    pathaniakaran00 and pepper5 like this.
  8. stacyfelton

    stacyfelton New commenter

    That also happened to me when I was doing my teaching training at uni two years ago. I thought the mentor that I was given was insane. She was horrible with me and it was like being told off by my mum for not doing what she wanted me to do. She even wasnt very happy with me for being on my mobile phone for talking to my mum to find out my daughter was alright as she was ill. I think generally they seem to talk to students as if they are children.
    I passed the first year placements, but it was in the second year that I seemed to struggle more with managing the behaviour of a large group of children.
     
    pathaniakaran00 and pepper5 like this.
  9. pathaniakaran00

    pathaniakaran00 New commenter

    Hey pcsmush

    Thank you hun@ pcsmush I appreciate advice about behaviour management and subject knowledge of EYFS and Primary curriculum.
    How do you make your own thread? As I am new to this TES website.

    Xx
     

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