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Feeling a bit overwhelmed...

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by Mrs Chem, Mar 20, 2011.

  1. Oh you poor thing, you are NOT a failure. Pregnancy is hard enough when longed for and planned so it must have been a huge shock to your system. It sounds like you are a conscientious person who wants to do right by your classes and by your baby but you are the one who is taking all the strain. Please talk to your GP, they won't label you as a nutter and hopefully they will be kind and sympathetic and find a way to get you through this. Take care x
  2. Thank you very much for replying- it really made me feel better. I talked to the GP and midwife and am also hopefully in the process of sorting something out with the school. I've heard how people have spoken about pregnant women having time off in the past and I know how much work it creates for other people so I suppose I was worried about being bad mouthed for needing help. However, you're right: there are more important things here than whether or not someone gets p*ssed off and makes comments behind my back. It seems I am still waiting to transition to the "mummy" mindset- I'm stuck on the "14 year old girl what will they think?" mindset.

    I'm an okay teacher and an okay human being- with a bit of luck I won't be a complete disaster of a parent. (In this profession I've certainly seen a wealth of good and bad examples...)

    Thanks again for making me feel like less of a freak!x
  3. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I'm in the 'not happening' camp at the minute but I also have a nearly 2 year old so can really relate to what you're saying. At the end of the day, whatever the situation everyone has problems and has the right to help and support. I never 'glowed' while I was pregnant, I found it really hard. Also, I got pregnant ridiculously quickly the first time and tbh it was a hell of a shock to me. I didn't really believe I was having a baby all the way through my pregnancy, instead of being excited I found it really weird. From that point of view this time if it ends up taking for example a year I think it will be a good thing in a way?
    I didn't have a clue what to do in advance, but to be honest looking after a newborn although wearing really isn't rocket science so you will deffo pick it up pretty quickly. As they get older you then get to know them so it becomes easier.
    I do think you need to get help though, because you don't want it to turn into PND, you want to be able to enjoy your baby when he/she arrives.
    In terms of 'mums aren't meant to feel like this' I think the truth is that most do, at some point.
    I really wouldn't worry about nasty little tittle-tattlers at work though, they are nobody.
  4. Hi Panegyric. Your paragraphs disappear because you're using Google as a browser I think. All the other browsers leave then in and give you nice emoticons and things to use. Might be worth swapping back to explorer or to firefox or one of the others.
    You can add paragraphs from google by using html ( <.p.> to open a paragraph but no dots, I had to put them in to stop it opening a paragraph instead of showing you what i mean and <.p./.> to close a paragraph again no dots). You'll get used to it. Just like everything else.
    I reckon about 2/3 of the posters here have extremely little or no experience with babies (I didn't have any) and a fair chunk are also in precarious financial situations. No easy solutions but good company!
    One thing which does transcend everything is that once you start to get enought sleep after the birth and the initial shellshock is over, people never look back. They will for more sleep or more money but they don't wish not to have their child.
  5. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    Wish I'd seen this sooner. Unplanned pregnancy is something that I now consider myself the ultimate authority on!I can't add a whole lot to what's already been said, except that there are some advantages to being taken wholly by surprise, believe it or not! I didn't even have the sense to get meself an OH, spent about five month gibbering in panic, expected to be the worst mother in the world (the last baby I saw up close was my little sister, and she's 21) and therefore had absolutely no expectations about anything. This meant that all the nice and the good things - and there are a lot of them - took me by surprise and I'd anticipated the difficulties in advance, so while they're still difficult they're manageable.
    It's a variation on 'expect nothing and you won't be disappointed', which is a depressing sort of philosophy but works pretty well having a baby! If you accept that yes, it's difficult and yes, your rulebook and expectations have gone out of the window and yes, your life has not gone as planned then you're halfway there, I think. The thing is that even if it had been planned and you were expecting it, you'd probably find that your expectations and rulebook would still go out of the window (babies are neither predictable nor particularly amenable to fitting into the nice little slot that you prepare for them) and that might be more difficult to deal with.
    There are no rules about how you should be feeling or reacting now, just roll with it. Accept the bad days as bad days and don't beat yourself up - you honestly can't have made more of a mess of things than I did, and Yoghurt Lite is really a remarkably well-adjusted, happy and beautiful baby. [​IMG]
  6. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    Oh yeah, meant to add... I didn't read any books, ran out of the antenatal class in tears (bloody couple city), really honestly didn't have a clue about babies at all and I guess I'm doing as good or as bad a job as anyone. So don't panic, having a baby is not rocket science, it's just graft.
  7. Thanks LY- I've seen you mention your situation on other threads (if that doesn't make me sound like a stalker) so I know that you too were taken by surprise in circumstances that don't necessarily look like the ones we might have pictured when we were little girls!

    Yeah, I have good days and bad (panicky, hormonal) days still but I am trying to chill out a bit. It's just that when you're pregnant people's response is always "Oh how wonderful, you must be so thrilled, I remember when I was pregnant, etc etc" and that is perfectly understandable. It's just that until I talked to people on here, that's the *only* thing people had said. No one told me that they cried or worried that they were too young or poor or selfish or ridiculous to be allowed to reproduce. Throw in some well-meaning mother and baby books/mags full of rosy-cheeked, serenely smiling ladies and I just felt like I was doing it wrong.

    It's nice to know that I'm not alone! x

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