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Feeling a bit lost!

Discussion in 'Retirement' started by Happyu, Nov 5, 2019.

  1. Happyu

    Happyu New commenter

    Retired end of August. Great!!! Returned to same school on a three day contract as a 'Cover Teacher'. Enjoying it but feeling a little sad that I don't have my own class and the same responsibilities as I did when full time! I feel more like a visitor of the school. It probably does not help as I start on a Wednesday! Is it normal to feel this way? I've always worked full time! Feel a bit lost but know it's better for my mental health!!!
  2. heldon

    heldon Occasional commenter

    Hobbies and interests?
    border_walker likes this.
  3. Happyu

    Happyu New commenter

    Have lots of interest but they are in the evening e.g theatre, ballet etc Joined my local U3A but interesting activities for me are on the days I work! It can be quite lonely once retiring! This is a new feeling.
  4. HannahD16

    HannahD16 New commenter

    A period of transition for you and I can imagine it would be difficult to go from a busy week and days to a slower pace. I hope you adjust soon. Family nearby? Grandkids?
    lardylady likes this.
  5. Dodros

    Dodros Star commenter

    It's all about coming to terms not only with what you're retiring from but also with what you're retiring to. As a singleton, I valued the social benefits of work highly, so for a decade I volunteered to do computer administration work in the school department where I once taught full-time. This gave me time to get used to a different phase of my life when I'm no longer "summoned by bells." I've known colleagues who relished retiring from the bad stress of a challenging post of responsibility, only to pass away soon afterwards for want of "good stress". It's a matter of getting the balance right for you as a retiree and it's important not to rush it when you decide what your new priorities are. Retirement isn't always stress-free either, reduced income can be a big issue and spending more time at home can increase awareness of the urgency of household improvements, while telephone callers are usually of the scammer variety, daytime TV is littered with ads for funeral plans and health can deteriorate, so don't expect everything about retirement to be a perfect idyll!
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2019
  6. diddydave

    diddydave Established commenter

    Sounds perfectly normal.
    You can only be lost if you don't know the way - your route will become clear and you will learn to navigate your way through this new landscape, it'll just take time to get used to the new 'rules of the road'.
    speaker2, SingToAng and border_walker like this.
  7. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    When I became a primary deputy without my own class I missed that and cover could be a bit soul destroying - some children didn't behave as well as they would have had they been "mine". There is a lot of job satisfaction lost. Two days at home don't really give you enough time to throw yourself into retirement wholeheartedly. How long do you plan to do this for? Perhaps look at it for a couple of years if you can afford it and then look forward to full retirement. I'd say that working three days/week is part-time work rather than being retired. Look at it as a transition time if you can afford it and retire properly soon. There is a life out there but you do have to work at it. Retirement is full time.
  8. Canteloube

    Canteloube New commenter

    I have posted before about exactly the feeling you describe as feeling a bit lost. I have been exploring different possibilities where I live and one thing which has helped is going on an organised walk. There are usually, in most areas, all types of rambling associations. Some walks I tried were just too leisurely and some were just too ambitious however the act of getting out in the fresh air and just moving was very beneficial when I found the weekly walk which suited me. I think it is important to try and find a daytime activity which works for you so that when you stop work altogether there is at least one regular commitment in your diary. Some local colleges do offer daytime leisure activities and this gives you the opportunity to meet people in different age groups. I have found something I am hoping to sign up for in January. I do sympathise and hope that some ideas start to form into possibilities for you as the weeks go by.
  9. sunshineneeded

    sunshineneeded Star commenter

    OH has recently cut down work to 3 days a week. He's not a great 'hobbies' person. He has now started working one day a week (4 hour shift) as a volunteer at our local hospital. Getting started was a lengthy process - I felt like he was applying to be a brain surgeon! But once he'd waded through the forms, references, two interviews and DBS check, there were lots of different roles to choose from. He's enjoying it very much and planning to increase his days once fully retired.
  10. Sharpie123

    Sharpie123 New commenter

    That doesn't sound like retirement to me - that sounds like part time working in a job that you don't enjoy as much as the one you've given up.

    I'd have a think about what you would like your life to look like? What do you enjoy? There's a great book called 'L'art de la liste' which gets you to understand what makes you happy and I've found it really useful for identifying what I enjoy and making sure I do more of that!

    If you have a partner, I do suggest he/she also retires - I know we finished together and it's opened up a whole new world of shared activities and travels.
    Weald56 and lindenlea like this.
  11. elainerosebud

    elainerosebud New commenter

    I have retired at 55 from a school abroad so no chance to go part time in a known environment. I and my OH not a teacher has also retired are trying to establish some new way of life. Not easy. I think we should all be kind to ourselves and partners and give it time. We always said give it 6 months in a new postings. We should take our own advice.
    speaker2 likes this.
  12. Happyu

    Happyu New commenter

  13. JSutton123

    JSutton123 New commenter

    I retired first in 2015 then did some supply but soon tired of waiting around for the phone to ring. I then did a part-time short maternity cover which led to another year’s contract then I retired again. I too felt lost. I have now joined a gym, volunteer in a drop in centre and play bridge.
    Weald56 likes this.
  14. Happyu

    Happyu New commenter

    Thank you all for your kind words and advice. It has helped me realise that I need more time to get used to my new position. Sadly, I cannot retire fully yet for financial reasons. Another two years at least!!!!! Probably the best move would have been to retire and go to a new school, then I would not feel like a visitor. I know if I had stayed full time I would probably have suffered ill health!!! Thanks again for your wise words. I will try and make new friends and do more on my days off.
  15. diddydave

    diddydave Established commenter

    I hope you've checked what the effect on your pension is by working part-time as it's not guaranteed to get larger just because you have worked longer.
  16. Gainingcontrol

    Gainingcontrol New commenter

    As this is for financial reasons, it sounds like (with hindsight) you'd have been better reducing your hours to 3 days a week rather than retiring. I cannot understand why teachers retire and then go back subbing. Out of the frying pan into the fire discipline/behaviour wise! Retirement is wonderful, but it sounds like you haven't got there yet.
  17. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    I’ve never fully understood this either. If full retirement isn’t what someone is ready for then why didn’t they go part time or down the phased retirement route.
  18. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    This might be the pension issue - fixing the three best years for calculating pension before dropping down to a lower income which is tough on your pension although good for your health.
    Jamvic likes this.
  19. diddydave

    diddydave Established commenter

    Good point, for all I know the OP may have taken their pension and be back in the new scheme building up a bit more.
    Jamvic and lindenlea like this.
  20. the hippo

    the hippo Lead commenter Community helper

    I retired last year. It did not work and so I got another full-time job. Maybe I will retire again and do things properly.
    speaker2 likes this.

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