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Feel like we're going backwards

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by Lohman, Dec 5, 2011.

  1. Hi all,
    Just after some advice. LO is almost 4 months now. I've struggled with BF from the beginning. But just lately we have got into a rountine (his doing!) where he feeds every 3 hours and he was only waking once during the night between about 3.30-5.30am. It's been like this for about 3 weeks. From the end of last week he has started feeding every 2.5hrs or less and is now waking twice during the night again. I'm really confused by this as he still seems like he is getting enough at feeding times. And it is hunger during the night because he has a good drink. I know some people would pu this down to a growth spurt but I think it's going on longer than that.
    I'm also finding that he is whinging a lot during the day and it's getting more difficult to get him to sleep in the day. But if he doesn't sleep he starts screaming. I have to rock him and sing him to sleep and this can take ages sometimes. When he does eventauly sleep sometimes it's only for 10mins. Usually he is OK for a bit after a feed and then after 1hour he starts whinging. But he will only sleep 2hrs after a feed which means I'm left with him being difficult for 1 hour - and this is 3/4 times a day. It just feels like as soon as things started to get easier, we are going backwards again. And as son as I could get a bit more sleep, I'm shattered again because of the night feeds.
    Any suggestions?
  2. It sounds like a growth spurt and like he is hungry. I think as they get older the increased feeding goes on for longer - my daughter (2.7) recently had a growth spurt and ate me out of house and home for a month!!!
  3. We experienced this also - I felt like I was feeding constantly and getting zero sleep. But it passed and we rode it out - still bfing at 1 year and 3 weeks :) but only cos she wouldn't have a bottle!! I'm glad I stuck with it now but at the time I was going mental. It will pass though x x
  4. <h1>sigh! we went through this too lohman. just as you start to get some sleep... she is 6 mnoths old now and starting to sleep more again but still feed twice a night - but not 4 times, phew!</h1>one thing to rule out, is baby cold as weather has become wintery. i started putting an extra layer of clothing on her at night just to see and it seemed to help. xxx

  5. Thanks for the replies. I've had a look at the wonder link and it did make me feel better about it. But I'm still worried that something is not right. I've tried putting more bedding on at night in case he was cold but it hasn't made any difference so I'm sure it's not that. It's like he's a newborn again. Last night's example.....
    (He comes to bed with us as he doesn't settle well in the evening and I've found that if I try to make him sleep earlier in the evening at 7 or 8pm, then he still wakes but earlier so it worse for me because as soon as I get to sleep he would wake me up)
    Fed him at 5.30pm, 6.40pm, 8.45pm and 9.30pm. He eventually settled to sleep at 11pm (we were in bed from 9.30 for the last feed).
    He woke at 12.30am then again at 5am and 8am. After the 8am feed this morning he was awake for 1hour then slept for 1hr and then needed feeding at 10am and again at 12pm. He is now finally asleep again - probably for about 15mins and will then wake screaming for food.
    It just seems that he is going for less and less time during his feeds and I thought they were supposed to go for longer. It used to be every 3 hours and I could then plan to do things around feeds. But because he's so all over the place I feel like I'm stuck in as he needs feeding all the time. I'm sure it can't be a growth spurt for this long. He doesn't seem ill in any way. But he is very whingey about 1 hour after being awake and it's increasingly difficult to keep him entertained. I really don't know what to do xx
  6. That sounds very much like cluster feeding and it would explain why you get a rather fab stretch from 12.30 until 5am!
    Sleep and feeding isn't linear - they don't get better and better/longer and longer until suddenly they're going 12 hours at a stretch - there'll be ups and downs I'm afraid! Growth spurts can be a day, or a week or more, and then merge with a developmental leap which means they want more comfort while they try and process what's going on in their heads. I try and liken it to studying for a massive exam which helps me be a bit more patient during the tricky times. I bet when you come out the other side of this you'll notice he's doing something you never knew he could before!
    Have you fed outside the house? Could you pick somewhere you know is breastfeeding friendly and park there for a couple of hours so you at least feel like you've got out the house? Our local Starbucks is great for that. Or perhaps a local breastfeeding group where you can share your experiences with other mums who will be going through similar?


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