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Feel like i’m failing...

Discussion in 'Part-time and job share' started by Flexiblesink32, Feb 4, 2019.

  1. sparklebanana

    sparklebanana New commenter

    Hello fellow part timers! My job share is lovely and I feel we work well together, however she is constantly messaging me on my days off asking whether I have done things, where things are etc etc. We have a heavy workload and I don’t always have time to get through everything but I often get messages/calls asking where a piece of work is or did x or y get done. Most of the time it is things that I have had to put on the back burner as something else came up and it didn’t seem that important but every time I get a message asking me about something I feel dreadful and anxious, like i’m failing because I haven’t done everything. I sometimes end up going in on my day off to sort things out but if I don’t I end up feeling guilty as I get a response saying there’s no time and she will have to do it.
    There are similar things my job share doesn’t get around to doing and I just assume she didn’t have time, I try not to bother her on her day off unless it’s really important.

    I know it sounds trivial but it’s really stressing me out and every time I get a message my heart sinks wondering what it is i’ve not done now, and I feel like a failure. I just want to relax on my days off not worry like this.

    We do have a diary where we leave notes for each other about what we have and haven’t done but obviously can’t write down every single thing.

    Am I being over sensitive? I can’t just ignore the messages as they are not emails (which I try not to reply to now when I am off work). Do all part timers feel like this?
    annascience2012 likes this.
  2. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    You are entitled to have your days off free of interruption, and you certainly don't go in on your day off.
    I think you need to be firm that your mobile is not for work use, and you do not want to be messaged on your day off. You can point to the face that you don't do the same.

    Perhaps if the diary isn't working to cover everything, you need to look at that. Perhaps if there are things that need doing, they need to be listed in the diary, and last action of the day is to just go down the list and make sure the other knows what the state of play is, eg "still to do"/"in stock cupboard"/"entered on computer". If it's difficult to fit that in at the end of the day, perhaps do it in a googledoc or something so you can do it once home.
  3. jhagan99

    jhagan99 New commenter

    I don't have any useful advice, just wanted to offer you my sympathies because I have been there. I started a job share last September and had resigned before October half term as I could bear it no longer. I used to get that awful sinking feeling every time my partner texted me to ask about something trivial, knowing that I couldn't sort it out from home. A few times she texted me the day before change-over, after I'd spent about 8 hours planning, to tell me to hold off planning because she wanted to do something a different way. She would criticise my planning, but somehow I could never bring myself to tell her that I had to correct grammar errors in her English slides every week before I could present them to the children. I felt like a supply teacher as everything had to be done her way, from the seating arrangements to the displays. She even insisted on leading parents' evening. It was insufferable and if i'd stayed any longer I think I would have said a few things I would later have regretted. I now work part time teaching a single subject, so no jobshare partner to contend with. And it is bliss! Are you sure your jobshare is lovely? Or is it possible she is deliberately trying to make you feel rubbish (and appear that way to colleagues/ SLT)? You could try to play her at her own game, but I think our job is hard enough already. Good luck any way
  4. beckya1990

    beckya1990 New commenter

    Myself and my job share had a similar thing when we started working together and at times it felt as if my time off wasn’t time off. We tried and handover book and in the end we decided it wasn’t working so we now email.

    I send her all of my planning, handover notes and notes of what did/didn’t get done and what is needed on the Wednesday night (I work mon, tues, weds). I then log back in briefly on Sunday tea time when my children are sorted and she has sent her handover notes ready for the Monday.

    We are now in a space where it works and other than a one off text or phone call regarding work we have our days off!

    Hope you find a good balance, it’s so difficult especially if you have gone from full time to part! X

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