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Feeding Issues and Utter Desperation

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by spiderkin, May 15, 2011.

  1. apart from night feeds it takes us 2 hours to get a bottle into LO and even then we only get him to finish about 2 6oz bottles a day, we end up throwing away the rest of the other bottles. he vomits a couple of times a day too despite being on prescription formula.
    it's a battle - he weighs nearly 17.5lbs and rarely takes more than 3oz at a time. he wriggles around, slides down our legs, bats the bottle out of his mouth, twists and turns almost falling off us and often just gives up. i find it very frustrating feeding him too and OH often has to take LO off me at the weekends to feed him as i get so frustrated.
    i've no advice i'm afraid but i just want you to know you're not the only one with this type of issue. x
     
  2. undiwear

    undiwear New commenter

    This seems very sensible. I have a friend whose dd was exactly the same. she switched to ff at 4 months because the HV was stressing her out about her skinny dd who may not have been 'getting enough' was otherwise healthy and thriving. Her dd never took more than 4oz at one go and remained skinny and at 7 is still skinny. some babies just have smaller feeds that others and what it says on the tin is blanket recommendation, not what your baby will do or need.

    this isn't meant to be a comment on your situation but I thought it may give you some ideas on how to think laterally about the situation you are facing and to hopefully help you feel less stressed about her not being like other babies.
     
  3. undiwear

    undiwear New commenter

    "This" meaning the post by Ladybug3 which I meant to quote and I also meant to put this link into my post http://blog.nurturedchild.ca/index.php/2010/12/10/baby-led-bottle-feeding/

    sorry trying to multitask with 2 ankle biters around.

     
  4. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    I wonder if you need to find a new doc, some treat all first time mums as fuss pots. A woman at my SstART had a boy she knee there was a prob with like your daughther, turned out he had a hernia, her first doc patronised her and the poor kid only got helped when she found a dif doc. With her second (he had a dif prob, was intolerant to one type of milk) they took her more seriously. I am obviously not sayng your lo has anything lik ethis, but it should be checked out.
     
  5. Cheers guys. It does help knowing that other people have had similar issues. Each morning I dread the feeds - and count down until the last when it's LO's bedtime. How rubbish is that! I know when it gets better, I'll go back to enjoying feeding her - I hope it's soon.
     
  6. Lily I remember the feeling well. If it is any consolation my daughter is now 2 and a really good eater. The final turning point was weaning. I think I was worried that being poor with milk would be poor with food. That said she's still a skinny little thing on the 25th centile! Good luck :)
     
  7. Cheers for sharing this Spider - sounds like you have the exact trouble we have. LO woke up after we put her to bed and I went in - I winded her and then she continued to cry so tried feeding her. She started playing up and just said to OH I couldn't face it anymore today. He went and same thing happened when he tried to feed her. He then put Bonjela on her gums - imemdiately settled and fell back asleep. I guess it's definitely her teeth then. At least I know what it is - when it will end, well, they say it can last months until we see any!
    Again, thank you everyone else for sharing your experiences and advice. It's good to know others have had this problem - and for it to get better.
     
  8. i did read that teething can disrupt feeding. have you tried anbesol? we found it better than bonkela for numbing the affected area but not better for getting him to take liquids!
     
  9. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    I've heard about amber teething necklaces- apparently amber releases something which is an analgesic and anecdotally I've heard they really work to help babies who are struggling with teething pains.
    Goodl uck!
     
  10. Lillypot, we had the exact same problem when my LO was that age! Initially I think I was lab led with PND as my son was gaining weight well! I was like you, I spent all day feeding him and normally ended up swaddling him and rocking him to sleep then feeding him! Nightmare! My advice is don't give up, keep going to GP and make a fuss, show them what happens when you feed! We are currently seeing a pediatriian who has finally got the the bottom of the problem! It turns out LO has silent reflux and milk protine intolerance, having tried many vile milks, he is now on aptimil pepti, which is great! He also takes medication for refilux! The change in him is unbelievable, he acctually likes his milk now, I never thought I'd see he day! We also weaned him really quickly at 4 months, he was on 3 meals a day in 2 weeks! Another helpful thing was seeing a chiropractor and using dr brown bottles!

    I know how horrible this all is, I couldn't be out the house when feeding him as I thought everyone was watching, nobody really understands, they think you just have a grumpy baby! I knew he was crying because he was in pain, and I pushed and pushed until I got to the bottom of it! It's so tricky as we has to try a few diff meds and lots of awful milk before we got it right, this takes time, but you will get there! We also used a bed wedge and sleep positioner to keep him raised, this helped as he hated being on his back! Also hated the pram and car seat as they help him in a position that made the reflux worse!

    If I can help in any way please let me know! Wee one now loves his food and is a happy child! You will get throughout this!
     
  11. Thank you so much for this post pinkcandy. You're right. No one does understand and they think I'm mad - because, as you say, LO looks healthy and putting on weight.
    I wonder if people probably think I have PND as I get teary when I'm so frustrated with feeding. They think LO's just playinga game - but don't understand when I question them - why would a hungry baby play a game? They are not manipulative enough to do that!
    Aptimal Pepti - I guess that's on prescription.
    I've been using the same milk - Aptimal the whole time so I wonder if I switch milk it would be OK. Does switching milk mess with their digestive system? If not, I might get some Cow and Gate - and SMA to see if any of those help.
    One last thing pinkcandy - how long did it take to get a referral to a paedetrician?
     
  12. Might be worth a try, Lily. My LO HATES carton milk and will only drink the powder variety of Cow & Gate. When she was little she struggled with constipation and we switched to Cow & Gate comfort which was very successful- it definitely tasted nicer to me! It has less lactose in it and is recommended for constipation and colic so it might help your LO's tummy feel better- you can buy it in supermarkets.
     
  13. No problem at all, I really do understand how awful going through this is! I would go in and to see the doctor and demanded something be done, and show them what happens when you feed your baby, I got a referal straight away, when i did this, the hospital came back saying there was a three month waiting list and again I got my doctor to contact them and make it urgent! Tell them how desperate you are feeling! I kept being told what an amazing job i was doing getting baby to put on weight, which you clearly are too, but they have got to understand that there is a little baby and an exhausted mummy, who are very destressed and something is not right! I was seen within a week! When we got to this point i was spending 9 hours a day feeding baby less than half what he should have been taking. Our main diagnostics were, hungry but refusing milk after a burp- usually 1oz in, loose nappies, excema, bad hiccups, wind, restless, not sleeping, needing to be in an upright position, not liking car seat and pram! Your doctor should be able to prescribe pepti but they may want you to see a pediatric first, I think it is quite an exoensive milk compared to the other dairy/soya free ones, which taste awful and my LO would not go near! We also put a little bit of vanilla powder in it to make it taste better as they are very sour! They may try you on lactose free first, which did help us a little, but my pediactic believes that it is never a lactose problem, it is always a pro tine that is in both milk and soya! Lots of people who have not experienced this type of thing do think that baby is just grumpy, but you must hold on to the knowledge that you have an adorable little person, who is just telling you that they have a sore tummy, you will get to the bottom of this I promise! as for crying, I spent a lot of time crying in the doctors, remember you are going to be exhausted and frustrated, anyone would cry, I know I never had PND but I'm sure they thought I did! It is just situational stress! Another good website for tips etc is babyreflux! Good luck and keep us posted!
     
  14. I've decided to go back to the doctors tomorrow - I've taken video footage of how difficult it is feeding LO and hope that they can see this is not normal behaviour.
    My OH tried feeding her with a syringe which did actually work (so possibly teeth?) but then, surely the calpol would have worked? Which it didn't. I'm still convinced that teething shouldn't interfere so drastically with feeding.
    I even phoned NHS direct who said to go to the doctors.
    My problem is that I accept what I'm told and only later question things as I'm too timid to speak up! And then usually get furious at home!
    My feeding problems are the following:
    - after approx 1oz, the battle begins (earlier she had only 0.5oz before 'it' began)
    - arched back, contorting body hands EVERYWHERE in a bid to get the bottle out the mouth, head turning back and forth
    - some grizzling during 'the battle'
    - regular hiccups
    - more sick over the last few days
    - lethargic during the day - even after a 4 hour nap today, she was quite yawn-y
    - restless during sleep
    - only feed lying down (when fed upright, she vomits far more - and more projectile. Nothing stays down)
    - even when dream-feeding, she can get quite restless / fidgety but no where near as bad.
    - waking up more regularly at night (she used to only have 1 feed at night, now she often wakes up 2-3 times and finds it very hard to settle back down)
    - sippy cup has same effect as bottle - i.e problems. (tried every teat going).
    I just hope doctor doesn't fob me off again in a bid to get me out the door. Would be good if she prescribed the Pepti stuff straight away, but doubt she would in case it's jsut fussiness. Deep in my heart I know it's not but how can you tell others that? Mother's intuition.
    Anyway, must dash, LO's bathtime and the final battle of the day begins.....
     
  15. Have just seen black flecks in LO's poo.... my common sense says it could be blood. However, before I start getting completely paranoid, if LO was allergic, surely I would have seen these black flecks before? Unless the irritation in her stomach is getting so bad, it's starting to have a more serious effect.
     
  16. Can you take that nappy with you tomorrow lily? I'm sure it will be nothing, but as you say, if you get fobbed off at least you have something to show the GP.
     
  17. That's a good idea. I put it in the bin, thinking it was strange (and then it occured to me after) but I can get it out the bin (who would have thought I'd be rooting around the bin for pooey nappies?!).
     
  18. Have you fed her any bananas or berries? They cause black bits in nappies... Thought I'd let you know that just in case!
     
  19. Just wanted to say we went through a very similar thing with my little boy. I would really suggest that before you go down the route of getting the doctor to try loads of things and switching teats, type of formula etc etc. I would really try a week or so of just letting her have what she wants, when she wants. I was convinced that there was something wrong with my son as he was exhibiting very similar behaviour but I was really reluctant to start getting him put on medication. Lucklily my doctor took a common sense approach - if she has regularly got wet nappies and seems alright in herself and her weight gain is normal then she is probably fine. They always look like they throw up more than they do. As soon as I chilled out so did my little boy...if it is stressful for you (and I really know that it is, believe me!) then you can bet it is stressful for her.
    Some babies do have reflux, but even if they do it will sort itself out more often than not with no medical intervention. Some babies have bad wind, but the same applies. The tricky thing is that you can overcomplicate things to the degree that feeding becomes an enormous issue and in the end you are not sure whether things have improved because of the bottle/teat change/medication etc. or just because it was a phase and it has resolved itself. Just try feeding on demand and know that she is fine if she has wet and dirty nappies and is putting on weight. If after a couple of weeks things don't resolve themselves or you think she is losing weight then take her to the doctors.
    I hope this helps and doesn't sound like I am not understanding how stressful it is and how much you want a solution now as I remember well how I felt, but I am starting to learn that nothing with babies is forever, even if it seems endless at the time.
     
  20. Thanks amiable - any advice is worth listening to. The problem is that she displays hunger signs - tongue out, sucking on fist, roots (even though I've not breastfed for weeks!) but offer her the milk and she won't take it. Hover the bottle in front of her and she grasps it and starts sucking the bottom of the bottle. Turn it round so the teat is in her mouth and she's having none of it.
    So even if I fed on demand - the supply is there, the demand is there but the consumer is kicking a fuss and point blank refusing after the first oz!
    As for bananas, yes she did have bananas - but she also had bananas yesterday and despite a couple of poos yesterday, no black bits. However, I will mention it to the doctors (sorry amiable, I'm still going!) but not get too hung up about it.
    Also, LO is waking up more at night because she's not eating enough in the day - a real regression from what she was doing.
    I will let you know how i get on tomorrow!
     

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