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Family illness etc...long post

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by geologyrocks, Jan 17, 2011.

  1. Hi all,
    It has been weeks now since my family were well. I am becoming overwhelmed with it all.
    Time off - three days in the last two weeks to look after my children. While I was pregnantI had a lot of time off due to complications (my school were understanding). However my attendance has been patchy this year so far, some illness for me but mainly having to take days to look after children.
    Now my four year old has flu and I know I will have to take more time off. I have no one to look after him.
    Work - I am getting so behind. I don't have time to do anything at home because of my family life.
    Me - I am on antidepressants for PN depression and I was responing really well but all of a sudden I feel like crying all the time. This could be lack of sleep, could be the amount of work or could quite simply be how guilty I feel about the time off school.
    I have to go to the doc's this afternoon for my four week check and I am going to have to lie about how I feel because I can't afford for him to sign me off. He wasn't impressed just before christmas when I said I was feeling a bit stressed (coursework and all that). He was very frank in his answer 'you cannot afford to be put under any stress'. With the look off I will sign you off.
    I really don't want signing off, this would stress me. I have only had one sick note and that was during pregnancy.
    Sorry, I appear to have unloaded on here.
  2. So sorry to hear all your worries. Poor you! I think you do need signing off, be truthful with the doctor. Your health is the most important issue, if you don't have this break your condition could go downhill very fast.
    Stop worrying about school, put your health and your family first.

    Take one day at a time, things can only get better.
    Sorry I haven't been much help!
    Take care x
  3. Do you have a partner/husband, can he not take time off to look after your son?
    Please don't lie to your doctor, he may be able to alter your dose of antidepressants; this may not involve you having time off just settling into the correct dose.
    Good luck.
  4. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
    I do have a husband and he is sharing the time off (he takes more).
    I have been on anti depressents since my baby was 7 month old he is now 10 1/2 months. Things had been going well on 20mg Citilopram however over the las few weeks they don't seem to have been as effective; is this normal?
    Deep down I know it would be silly to lie, I just don't feel like I have time to deal with me at the moment.
    Once again
    Thank you
  5. I really feel for you! Having to juggle working with two children must be really hard going!! No wonder you are stressed.
    I think life is much harder these days for young families. I am in my 50s now and stayed at home for 5 years with my two children. However that option is much more difficult these days!!

    I am not much help to you just really feel for you! Please put yourself first!

    Take care x
  6. If y ou try and soldier on and you really aren't up to it then it WILL all come home to roost later, you need to take care of yourself in order that you may take care of your family.
  7. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    You need to be honest with your doctor or you won't get the chance to get better. Sounds like you need a break - hard, I know, with ill children.
    My toddler was ill the week before xmas, and that was hard enough, and I don't suffer from depression and only work part time. Lack of sleep can really get you down at the best of times.
    Look after yourself x
  8. Just wondering how you are today Geo. What happened at the Docs?
  9. slingshotsally

    slingshotsally Star commenter

    Hi Geo,
    Your post could have been written by me- my son has been in hospital 4 times since july with breathing dificulties...
    Please be honest with your Doctor.
    Each time I have had to be with my son, and watch him have drips, canulas etc I have to remind myself that the head teacher and SMT are there to sort out class cover.
    No matter how rewarding a job, or how great the responsibilities they will never replace my son.
    Take care of yourself.
  10. It's easier on your school if you are signed off for a set period and they know they will have to get cover sorted, as well as giving employment to a supply teacher [​IMG], than it is for you to take random days here and there while you try to keep all the plates spinning. It's also less likely to trigger an absence meeting with HR.
    Chuck the towel in and stay home. Have a rest, build up your strength, look after your child. If you feel the pills aren't working as well anymore, you may need the dose adjusting to take into account the increase in stress you've had since returning to work.
  11. Hi,
    Thank you for all the replies.
    I had no choice but to be honest with the doc, since I burst into tears when I got in there. He has increased the dose of my PND tablets to see if that helps.
    I would worry abou another long term absence, I had to take 7 weeks while I was pregnant.
    I really hope the meds work!
    Thanks again
  12. Geo, remember pregnancy is not an illness and it happens to a lot of the population. If you hadn't had the time off when pregnant -just consider the worst that might have happened to you or your unborn baby-and then put that 'episode of absence' behind you.
    As an aside has anyone any idea of anything that might have triggered your PND-a friend of my daughter's who is a bit of a control freak, had an awful pregnancy and then had a colicy baby who cried and never slept; and she sank into quite a bad 'depression' because the whole experience just hadn't been what she had expected (cue advert-rainbows, smiling parents, giggling/sleepy baby and sunshine every day). It took her mum to move in for a fewf weeks and take over with the baby, while she got some quality sleep and her strength back for her to start to feel better and at ease with becoming a mum. I'm not saying that your solution is this simple, but if you can find your trigger points you may have a better chance of coping with your PND without having to keep on increasing your meds.
    You need to put yourself first now and do what you need to do for your own health and welfare- school will still be there when you are fit and ready. [​IMG]
  13. Just to get it in proportion, my longest supply stints were covering the two pregnancies of an English teacher who threw up from beginning to end; the pregnancy of a woman who was 44 and too afraid to come to work because she was quite old for a first-time mother and didn't want to risk the stress; and four months for another older woman who was just too tired to come to work for the first four months of her pregnancy.
    That's just one suppy teacher! Don't sweat it!
  14. I think my PND actually dates bad to my first child 4 years ago, I think it went un-noticed. He was emergancy c-section 5 weeks early and was born with a bad birthmark on his head. No-one evr talked to us about the mark or the trauma I wnet through to have him.
    I think the birth of Ollie 10 months ago just worsened a problem I already had. I am a control freak by nature, everything has to be just right (as many teachers are). I can feel all of that slipping and I can't cope with it, however I don't have the energy to sort it out. It is a really strange thing to try and explain.
    If the increase in meds doesn't work I will sort something out with the doc.

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