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Family activities with teenagers

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Time4Tea, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. Time4Tea

    Time4Tea New commenter

    Any ideas for good things to do with teenagers who don't really want to do anything with you? Have one son who is still happy to cook or go on bike rides, other would really rather not do anything with us. Racking my brains for ideas to give us more positive interludes in amongst all the usual nagging and dramas. We do still sometimes all enjoy a good film together but otherwise a bit stumped. What works in your family?
     
  2. Time4Tea

    Time4Tea New commenter

    Any ideas for good things to do with teenagers who don't really want to do anything with you? Have one son who is still happy to cook or go on bike rides, other would really rather not do anything with us. Racking my brains for ideas to give us more positive interludes in amongst all the usual nagging and dramas. We do still sometimes all enjoy a good film together but otherwise a bit stumped. What works in your family?
     
  3. So it's not just me finding it hard to do things with teenager - cinema, badminton, shopping trips.....anything else seems pointless as he just moans!
     
  4. We do things like Go Ape, paintballing and theme parks - not cheap, but ok for the odd family day out.
    They still enjoy the beach as long as it has big waves for body boarding, sand dunes and/or rocks (and a nice warm cafe for me!).
    We also go to the cinema and I drag them to the theatre a few times a year (which I like to think they'll appreciate one day).
    It's getting more and more difficult to find things they want to do that don't cost the earth - gone are the days when going to the Science Museum was an exciting (and cheap) day out!
     
  5. I recall bowling and Quasar (do they still have them?) but I pretty much took my cue from them - if they thought it was lame hanging with their parents, then I don't see the point in falling over backwards to do things with our leisure time in the desperate hope that it will be attractive enough to them to deign to spend time with us.
    They're growing up and away from you. Tis the way.
     
  6. Yes they do! I went in the summer with my sister, niece and nephew.
     
  7. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Lily's pretty much said it all. Agreed on bowling and laser mazes. Also theme parks and days at the seaside have worked throughout our kids' teens, but it's not so much about the activities as the fact they're being seen out with their parents which is desperately uncool, even though they still love you beneath this over self-conscious facade.

    Also, your kids are probably different personalities - my eldest refused to holiday with us from 16 onwards so in her GCSE year we left her at home. My youngest can see the sense of parent-subsidised foreign travel and still comes along when she can. She's 20 this year. Now the eldest has lived away from home she's returned to the fold re family day trips and occasionally joins us.

    You understandably feel obliged to do while family trips from time to time, and you should persist with it, but it can be bloody hard after they hit 13, believe me. Get used to them walking 10 yards behind you with sullen expressions and an ever-present mobile.
     
  8. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    Typo: "..whole family trips.."
     
  9. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    My son's only 19 months old (and my daughter is due in April) so is still quite happy to be with us, but I can remember being a teenager and dragged out with my parents and sitting in the back of the car with my sister and brother, all of us moaning! My poor parents!
    We were lucky and grew up in a cul-de-sac with other kids our age, so spent a lot of time just hanging out there, riding our bikes, playing tennis on the street etc (probably couldn't do that now as there are millions of cars down their street now!).
    I guess when your kids are teenagers it's best to let them do their own thing, but have the occasional family day out to a theme park, beach or wherever.
    As i got older I did enjoy spending time with my parents though, and even went on holiday with them when I was about 23! When i visit now, i always go for walks with my mum and coffees out with her.
     
  10. Mine are not teenies yet but at that awkward age where both have different interests (girl 8, boy 11).
    Things that go down well for all together (and I remember these were things we did when I was a teen) -
    bowling
    theme parks
    beach
    mini-golf! (has us in stitches)
    I think the thing with being a teen is that (if I was anything to go by) it is so uncool to be seen enjoying time with your family in public.[​IMG]
    I have friends with a teenage boy (14) and go-karting seems to go down well, as does the climbing wall down the local climbing centre and kajaking at the local boat club (we live right on the Rhine, so lots of boating activities available).
    And - believe it or not - angling.

     
  11. One of the advantages of having children 7+ years apart was that we never had these expectations

    When one was a teen the other was still a toddler and now this one is a teen the other has flown

    So, with either they join in if they fancy and not if they don't

    Bowling has always been good as has board game evenings
     
  12. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    Climbing wall?
     
  13. Wall Climbing?

    Did a lot of this with my eldest

    NB this is NOT the same as a climbing wall [​IMG]
     
  14. jonkers

    jonkers New commenter

    Crazy golf is great (and cheap)
    Mine are 16 and 13 and today we have done 500 piece jigsaw for any one up before mid morning and will be playing crazy golf after lunch, cheap and even the most surly teenager has unbuttoned by the 3rd hole. Sunday evenings are good for silly card games - it's surprising how many of their friends really relax and become children again (us too) whilst playing cards or Mexican trains or whatever - we always have a house of happy teenagers on a Sunday evening.
    However I am well aware that, as parents, we become secondary to their friends at this time in their lives and all we can do is offer them the chance to be involved in family life and leave them to make the choice whether or not to join in.
     
  15. It is a big thing where you are on a harness and ropes and there are little grooves and sticky out things for your hands and feet and it goes up for silly metres?
    So what do you call it and what is the difference between wall climbing and a climbing wall?
     
  16. ah, that is what I meant with mini golf.
    achijeezibees - I need a dictionary!
    RF - board games are great, we have great fun evenings with those. We have found a monopoly edition for our town and have spent the last few weekends being evil towards one another and buying up the prime locations [​IMG]
     
  17. Oh dear ... joke missed

    There is an expression "climbing the walls"

    It implies a frustrated irritation
     
  18. Just a thought: my kids enjoyed all these things, karting, climbing walls, fishing - if they were with another friend's parents! Just as their friends used to like going to a football or rugby match with Mr L, or coming to the coast or the Dales with our kids and us! Perverse little gits.
     
  19. Exactly. Anyone who's been through the teen years and come out the other side will know that you often flog a dead horse in trying to get the kids to join in and remain part of the family. They just don't want to know.
    It's best to let them do their own thing, knowing your are supporting them (and checking on them, so they don't take too many liberties) than try to include them.
    I remember many a family meal out with the teenagers when it was so obvious they'd come along because I'd insisted they did.
    I have a friend with a 17 year old boy who still goes to Scouts. (Is it still Scouts at 17?) Bless him, he is a lovely lad but so unworldly. He stays close to home and accompanies his parents everywhere as does his 16 yr old sister. His parents are involved with the movement or used to be, but part of me thinks they have arrested his development. Perhaps my worries are unfounded and he is just one of those unusual kids who doesn't need to test the water outside the family home in drinking dens/ bars etc.[​IMG]
     
  20. oh

     

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