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False Accusations

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by sjw3915, Feb 21, 2016.

  1. sjw3915

    sjw3915 New commenter

    What should I do? Some silly boy accused me and another member of staff of pushing him. He said the other member of staff pushed him in the corridor and I pushed him downstairs. This boy has a few problems that the school are helping him with. I'm pleased to say nobody believed him apart from his mum who believes every word he says so common sense prevailed and there was no investigation as the boy often makes things up. I was told to speak to the boy to tell him how sad and disappointed I was that he would make something up like that. This I did with another adult present. Fast forward a month and I'm being shouted and sworn at by his mum on the phone. She again repeats the allegation that I pushed him downstairs. She is also screaming at me for discussing it with her son. I of course said I was told exactly what to say my smt. She isn't listening. I'm getting sick to death of spoilt children and inadequate parents.
    This is the third allegation I've had in as many years,(different school) one from a girl (many times excluded) who said I slammed a door on her finger on purpose (the door had a finger guard and you couldn't slam it shut even if you wanted to) and another from a boy who said I pushed him over and he banged his head (this boy was later excluded) This, like the other stories was completely made up. This boy was the son of the local drug dealer who was also banned from the school for threatening to punch my f ing head in. Incidently, another lad in the class had, weeks before, seen off a supply by saying, 'if you come back tomorrow i'll ruin your career.'
    Where is the accountability for these children who can make up accusations without any fear of a consequence? All I want is an apology although I firmly believe anyone who makes something up like this should be excluded. AM I really asking for too much here,for something that could have ruined my career? I'm left wondering how long before some idiot makes something up that really will ruin my career?
  2. caterpillartobutterfly

    caterpillartobutterfly Star commenter

    I admire you, I really do.
    I have never taught in schools with the kind of families, and therefore pupils, you describe and I know I'd not last 5 minutes if I tried.
    Can you speak to your head about the parents as well as the pupils? You definitely shouldn't have to put up with being shouted at.
    pepper5 likes this.
  3. les25paul

    les25paul Star commenter

    And they wonder why teachers are leaving teaching on mass and no one wants to take their place.
  4. aspensquiver_2

    aspensquiver_2 Senior commenter

    Don't hold your breath. In the meantime, you just have to try to deal calmly with the ridiculous stories and lies. After all despite the best efforts each one you refer to has resulted in no blackening of your character and reputation. You can't be the only one in the school who is treated like this.
    You are the teacher, you are the one with integrity so don't let the losers bring you down.
    sjw3915, Dragonlady30 and baitranger like this.
  5. -myrtille-

    -myrtille- Occasional commenter

    Firstly, it sounds like at least your SLT have some common sense as they have dismissed the allegation for the nonsense it is.

    Which makes it seem very strange that you still have these types of pupils/parents who try this sort of thing on. I would have thought that if it's obvious they won't get a reaction, they'd stop!

    Regarding the parent screaming at you on the phone, I'd say now is the time to refuse to have any dealings with that parent. If someone is verbally abusive to a member of staff, that's valid grounds to cease communicating with them in my book. I

    I have had a couple of parents in the past few years who I have refused to contact. If I needed to contact home (for example, because I'd had to kick their child out of my lesson), I asked a member of the pastoral team to do it on my behalf, stating firmly that "I don't contact Mrs X because of how she spoke to me last time" and no-one had a problem with this.
  6. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    If a parent threatens you, try to record it. Then report it to the police. With the evidence they should act.
    aspensquiver_2 likes this.
  7. TheoGriff

    TheoGriff Star commenter


    @-myrtille- has some very good wording there, so as you have it on record that the parent is abusive, your colleagues should be on your side here.

    Best wishes for a quiet remainder of term.

  8. Izzy121

    Izzy121 New commenter

    What a nightmare! I taught in a school like this for a long time, there was a policy in place - if a parent was abusive to a member of staff, the Head of Year, or in some cases only SLT had to make contact with them. You are quite within your rights to refuse to deal with anyone like that, and the school has a duty of care to protect you.
    Dragonlady30 and aspensquiver_2 like this.
  9. Marisha

    Marisha Established commenter

    I'm dealing with a similar parent.

    A child came to us after making a false allegation elsewhere; less than a year later, she had accused me of stealing from her. Roll forward another year, and mummy is accusing me of picking on her little darling. Now, according to darling, I'm the 'worst teacher' in the department because I'm refusing to write darling's coursework for her.

    I've had a day off with stress, have reported the kid's behaviour to HR - there was a great deal of ****** and screaming when I refused to break exam board guidelines - and my union is aware.

    Glad that the OP has a supportive SLT, but I'd suggest at least keeping your union informed.
    sjw3915 likes this.
  10. sjw3915

    sjw3915 New commenter

    Thanks for your replies. Found out yesterday that the parent had threatened to complain to governors about me 'bullying' their child and pushing him down the stairs.Parents were also going to complain about 3 other members of staff including the head as the child had disclosed to staff that he wanted to be a girl. The child later told his parents he was somehow coerced into this admission. You couldn't make it up could you? The upshot is that the head decided he didn't want any complaints going to governors so he has moved the child out of my maths and english set as the parents demanded. I of course get no apology for this false allegation and have to go on a 4 day residential with this very disturbed boy. I'm dreading it as I have no idea what he'll make up next.I feel very undermined and i have to disagree with one of the posts. My integrity, so far as other parents are concerned, doesn't remain intact. Social media will no doubt take care of that. I've been teaching for 16 years and feel very sad and let down that the role of the teacher has become so undermined.
  11. sjw3915

    sjw3915 New commenter

    Thanks for your reply. The head knows about the phone call and it was also heard by the office staff. Unfortunately he has chosen not to confront the parents about it. Nothing I can do apparently
  12. sjw3915

    sjw3915 New commenter

    Thanks for your reply. I did refuse to have anything to do with the woman and the head told me I should really have gone to a subsequent meeting with her and I had missed an opportunity to win her over. I'm never going to win this one!
  13. sjw3915

    sjw3915 New commenter

    And one more thing-As much as lesson observations can be used to measure how good a teacher is, I am apparently an outstanding teacher ( the only one in the school!) Trouble is i'd rather work in ASDA
    aspensquiver_2 likes this.
  14. sjw3915

    sjw3915 New commenter

    Thanks for your reply. Sorry about your situation. I think SLT are on the whole supportive but are too concerned with not upsetting the idiotic parent. I think they should be more concerned about keeping me happy
    Marisha and aspensquiver_2 like this.
  15. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    I doubt very much that'd I'd be going on a 4 day residential with that child! Good luck with that one!
    josienig likes this.
  16. scienceteachasghost

    scienceteachasghost Lead commenter

    Heads IMO need to get tougher and any kids who make up false accusations and their screaming parents should be permanently excluded. Yet another example in society of a nasty minority ruining things for the decent majority.
    Marisha and aspensquiver_2 like this.
  17. Marisha

    Marisha Established commenter

    And this is the crux of the matter.
  18. Alf58

    Alf58 Established commenter

    If this child has made up false allegations against you and your colleague you should get your Union Rep to "speak" to the Head on behalf of the staff because it seems he is more than capable of making things up about other colleagues. If your Rep is strong and works with Reps from other Unions the Head will have to act.
  19. pepper5

    pepper5 Star commenter

    It seems that this student is not being taught any accountability. He sounds confused and disturbed as do the parents. The Head needs to show some leadership and act to protect his staff. Let the parents complain to the governors. The governors are probably not stupid people: they will see that this boy and the parents are abusive.
  20. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    Go on a four day residential with this boy? No way. I'd either refuse - if it is outside school time no-one can force you to go , if it is (they claim/the OP thinks) part of some odd 'contractual' obligation, then I'd simply phone in sick the day the trip is due to go.

    A school SLT which expects teachers to go on trips with those making false accusations is owed no loyalty, IMHO.
    sjw3915 likes this.

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