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Falling out of love

Discussion in 'Personal' started by cantatricechauve, Feb 24, 2011.

  1. Has this happened to anyone else here? 25 years of marriage, 3 grown-up kids.... and I'm not sure I can see us getting old together.
  2. Has this happened to anyone else here? 25 years of marriage, 3 grown-up kids.... and I'm not sure I can see us getting old together.
  3. I am sure t has happened to lots of people [​IMG]

    My advice would be to talk to your spouse about how you are feeling
  4. I have - he doesn't think it's an issue. I just wondered if people a) put up with it, after all it's not dreadful, just not wonderful and frankly a bleak prospect for the rest of one's life! b) leave and regret it c) leave and don't regret it?
  5. Sorry, cannot help
  6. Oooch! That must feel awful, especially with an almost nul response from the OH!
    We don't have kids so we don't have the empty nest syndrome to shake us up. BUT we possibly do have some built in protection you could use.
    1. Forget doing stuff together. Find something YOU like and do it regularly, with mates or to find new mates!
    2. To balance that make a regular 'us' occasion. We take turns cooking or going out for a meal, taking the camera for a walk, pub lunch etc.
    3. Slowly work up to a joint hobby (we aren't there yet). We're looking for a retirement project that might earn us some pocket money. We have at least 10 years to think about it....
    4. Don't make any rash decisions but do consider all your options and do what is best for you....

    Good luck. I'm sure you'll find a way through it. Squillions of couples do, so it must be possible!
  7. Thank you The Pobble. Maybe it is empty nest syndrome or maybe we really have come to the end of our road, but I won't be doing anything in a hurry. I was pretty young when we married (he's older by 12 years) so maybe I just want my lost youth back!
  8. Oh Yes! I know how that feels.
    We've been together for 26 years (married 23 this year) and have had a few 'I'm off' moments! Usually cos I have a temper and then get all brave and try to stomp off!
    I still think I'd be happy on my own. He works away so much I doubt I'd feel much different to be honest. To be fair he feels this too and is trying to change jobs to be at home more. And yes, we both expect that to be very difficult to start off with!
    You might be able to tell that I make sure we talk, real talk that is [​IMG] That can cause a lot of arguments in itself. But is usually worth it!
    I hope you find out what 's best for you. I'm happy to play devil's advocate if you need it!
  9. You still haven't made up your mind after asking the same thing before?

  10. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    The OP seems to imply that the relationship was based upon parenting and now that the little ones have flown the nest that's it, game over. Shuffle off to the side of your life and await the Grim Reaper.
    In the year when our youngest flew the nest we both made major changes to our jobs and work routines. I was a little concerned that empty nest syndrome might hit hard, but there's a new dynamic now - we have new priorities and goals and routines. In a way it's all quite exciting, if at times a little scary.
    Maybe all that's needed is a change of routine, rather than a change of partner? You've made it this far.

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