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Fallen out of love with teaching.

Discussion in 'NQTs and new teachers' started by KeeeleyC, Oct 20, 2018.

  1. KeeeleyC

    KeeeleyC New commenter

    I have got one week left until half term and it cannot come soon enough, I am literally counting the hours until I do not have to be in school anymore.

    I am an NQT and currently on track to a mental breakdown. I cannot cope with working like this anymore. I work until 11 each night marking books and that is just English and maths, then try to give myself Saturday's off but just end up feeling guilty for not doing any work. I am in year 3 which is a year I never taught on my placements throughout university, but thought that having taught the years either side would help me prepare.

    I feel like my partner teacher doesn't like me some days and tolerates me because she has to.When I send her the work for the children she will send it back changing nearly everything about it. She is pregnant so I try and put it down to hormones, but she isn't like it with anyone else. I feel like the head teacher doesn't like me either, he is very cold and spoke rudely to me in front of a parent the other day and has only said 1 good thing about my teaching since starting, and he comes in to class everyday.

    I had a bad placement at university and was placed on a 'cause for concern' in my third year, but when I finished my final block, I had worked so hard and was graded at 'outstanding', I don't understand where it's all go so wrong? I really thought I was ready for this but I just am not coping with it all, and I feel like I'm letting everyone down especially they children.

    I just don't know what to do, I don't know who to turn to in the school, I feel like an outsider still, apart from my TA who is the most supportive person I know, no one in my family is a teacher so they do not understand, and my friends are all loving their time.

    If I keep this up I won't make it to Christmas. I just don't know what to do and don't want to quit but I feel it is inevitable at this rate.
     
  2. pepper5

    pepper5 Star commenter

    Hi KeeelyC

    Posting here is a start, since people will understand your situation because they have been where you are. You have one week to go and then you can have a real break. However, in the meantime, you must try to rest tomorrow and then try to get into a routine of going to bed earlier and not working on either Saturday or Sunday or both. You are feeling unable to cope partly because you are exhausted. You do not have to feel guilty for not working on the weekends.

    For right now, your goal is to get through next week. During the break, you will have time to restock your energy by resting and perhaps a tiny amount of prep for the next half term.

    If you are an NQT who is your mentor? Someone should be helping you.

    You need to phone the Education Support Partnership to chat through your options. You might need to visit your GP or think about leaving that school and finding another one if you feel you are not being supported. The Education Support Partnership will be able to listen and advise you on different points.

    You have to believe that you are a good teacher, but you are still learning and the school needs to accept that. It takes years in teaching to become an expert at it and you are just starting out. You have been teaching just a mere six weeks apart from your initial placements and in a year group you have never taught. Instead of not picking the school should be showing you or helping you. You must have not been that awful or they wouldn't have given you the job. I would say that next term may be a lot easier for you of you can get into a routine of sleeping well and not working so hard on the weekends.

    You are not letting anyone down including the children.
     
    JohnJCazorla and blueskydreaming like this.
  3. J.M.Powell

    J.M.Powell New commenter

    I’m sorry to hear that you’ve found your first term so tough. You are obviously a diligent practitioner and your willingness to work hard will not have gone unnoticed I’m sure. It’s always tricky when you join a new school, as it can be really tough to figure out all the expectations. Is it possible that your teaching partner thinks she’s being helpful by offering tips and hasn’t realised the impact it’s having? Your first step is to talk to your mentor about how you’re feeling. If this doesn’t seem possible for any reason then find another teacher who you can talk to.
    You are obviously worrying a lot about getting everything right-don’t expect to! You are still learning and the school has a responsibility to support you as you learn.
    Don’t despair-give yourself a proper rest over half term. I know that you are finding it impossible to fit everything in, but you really will find that you get more done in less time if you’re less tired.
     
  4. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    You must prioritize and not try and do everything as that is impossible.

    It takes a bit of experience but if you don't do this you will rapidly burn out
     
  5. sabram86

    sabram86 Occasional commenter

    Let's be frank.

    There is nothing sacred about teaching. It can be enjoyable to work with kids, but you do not work to have fun - you work to have a roof over your head, food on the table and a pension.

    There are other, better ways of making a living - that pay more and are less stressful. Google and indeed . co . uk are your friends.

    If you hate it and cannot do it - leave, if you can without losing your home. But plan your departure - what will you do? There is usually casual, low paid work out there that will give you set hours and no homework (call centre work, for example). In the long run, there is nursing, medicine, etc.

    PGCEs are useful but you've got it. Suffer if the rewards are worth it. Otherwise, leave.
     
  6. welshwizard

    welshwizard Established commenter Forum guide

    Falling out of love assumes you were in love with teaching in the first place! What was it that attracted you to the profession- are those things still there and if not then do consider your choices very carefully. Life is too short to be miserable. Some universities offer alumni careers advice or you can use the National Careers Service to discuss the options.
     
    pepper5 likes this.
  7. Northern_Miss

    Northern_Miss New commenter

    How are you getting on now?

    It seems like you're really tired and marking might be a big part of your issue - have you looked at ways to cut down on the marking? Take a look at what other teachers do in their books... You may be 'over-marking'.

    My marking tips:

    1. Get the children to self-mark where possible, especially in Maths. (Then you can just do a tick / comment at the bottom.)
    2. Plan 3 photo page lessons each week - one in Maths and one in English (e.g. freeze frame / grammar game) and one in another subject e.g. Science / RE (or a simple tick Arty lesson).
    2. At the end of each lesson, get the kids to leave the books still open, in a pile, on your desk... Do some marking at break / lunch / during quiet period of class time.
    3. I know some teachers who quickly sort the books by ability at break time, then do a model mark for each of these groups and give the TA the rest to mark using your models...
    4. If lots of students will have the same 'fix-it' task, type it up and stick it in the books (or get the kids to stick it in the next morning!).
    5. Mark 5 books per lesson as 'verbal feedback given' and nothing else.
    6. Try to do some minor marking in-lesson e.g. highlight bits, do the odd spelling correction etc.

    RE partner teacher, is there a common thread to the changes she is making? Can you maybe see what it is about your materials that doesn't suit her teaching style? Although to be honest, I'm surprised you're giving her any materials... Surely all she needs to know is what you're teaching and then design something around that e.g. "I did a grammar lesson on conjunctions today and we're writing a newspaper report about volcanoes on Friday, can you do a planning lesson with them tomorrow that includes these?"

    I'm not sure what to say about the headmaster. Only, if I was him and had a member of staff who displeased me in some way, I would give them advice... If he hasn't done that, maybe he thinks you're doing well? Some people can be difficult to read.
     

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