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Fake reviews on Amazon

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Ivartheboneless, Dec 11, 2019.

  1. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    I was just looking at Windows tablets on Amazon. Usually an item will have at least one or two detrimental reviews. I found one with 18 five star reviews, but when I read them, at least half had the same title as other reviews (word for word), and many were talking about "laptop", not tablet. None actually referred to the product by name. I am guessing these were copied and pasted from other reviews. I think I read about the rise of fake reviews in the Grauniad, but as usual, Amazon do sod all about it. Caveat emptor, I guess!
  2. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    There's a review scam known as the Brushing Scam which Amazon has been aware of for some time, but is reluctant to stop. It's a weird scam in that those directly targeted don't lose any money, but instead receive goods out of the blue for free.

    It works like this.

    A vendor creates a buyer's account and orders goods from himself which get sent to people whose names and addresses have been hacked from somewhere. The buyer pays Amazon. The goods get despatched to the address, Amazon get notification they were delivered and pays the vendor his money, less their commission. The buyer then writes a rave review.

    The purpose of doing this is to get ranked as a top, trusted seller, thereby attracting more custom for the articles than a competitor selling the same item.

    It tends to be a relatively small number of individuals whose names and addresses are used and it drives them nuts to keep getting all manner of tat arriving.

    It's been happening to one of my residents who at one time, had her living room piled high with Amazon packages. When she called Amazon to say she hadn't ordered the goods, they check and say "It's OK, they've been paid for. Someone probably sent you a present."

    However the resident's name used is the one on her birth certificate and not the one she chooses to be known by. The chances are her name and address will probably have been hacked from a government database, but she thinks it might be a family member trying to wind her up.

    It's an odd world we live in these days, ain't it? Nothing at all can be trusted anymore.
    sbkrobson likes this.
  3. Aquamarina1234

    Aquamarina1234 Star commenter

    It seems nothing can be invented that can't be perverted.
  4. WB

    WB Lead commenter

    Anchor squirty cream in can.
  5. Rott Weiler

    Rott Weiler Star commenter Forum guide

    TheoGriff, sbkrobson and Dragonlady30 like this.
  6. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I saw this resident after I'd posted this and asked if she's still getting them. She said she is, although not as frequently. Her solution was to take whatever arrives to the charity shop where she volunteers, so maybe it is a benefit to mankind after all.
  7. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I refuse on principle to review any item bought online, after seeing the inaccurate rubbish TripAdvisor were displaying about a place where I used to work. People complaining about the meals, when we didn't even serve meals.

    I will always leave eBay feedback, but less than half of my buyers bother.

    In my other line of work I was recently told about a competitor who leaves positive reviews about himself in Faecebook groups. Good luck to him, I don't bother with Faecebook at all and my booking diary is too full to be that desperate anyway. :)
  8. ajrowing

    ajrowing Lead commenter

    I have to say I had always assumed that all online reviews were fake. Are you telling me that some of them are actually real?
    mothorchid likes this.
  9. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Yes, oh smart one. Mine are!
    TheoGriff likes this.
  10. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    You mean, I'm not the only one who reviewed your great work of literature?:)
    TheoGriff likes this.
  11. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    What I don't get is why send your own goods to someone you don't know in order to write the review under a fake name and lose the goods, when actually you can just have your friends buy the goods, you pay them, and they write the reviews.
    I guess sending them to complete strangers is what to do if you have zero friends.
    Makes sense then.
  12. moscowbore

    moscowbore Star commenter

    Assume all online reviews are fake. Most , most definitely, are.
  13. dumbbells66

    dumbbells66 Lead commenter

    Greatest review ever on Amazon for Nair hair removal cream:

    After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
    I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially, all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen.
    I didn't have long to wait. At first, there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid off and positioned it under me.
    The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub, I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my ****. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
    The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, **** in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my **** while muttering..." Ooooh, that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self-respect...:)
    TheoGriff, sodalime and Dunteachin like this.
  14. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    Oh, my. I haven't laughed so much in ages.
    sodalime likes this.
  15. colpee

    colpee Star commenter

    There are lots of honest online reviews, but buying and selling positive reviews has been big business for a long time.

    But tbh, on Amazon there are usually plenty of other indicators to the wary buyer:
    If I do as @Ivartheboneless did, and search for a Windows Tablet - this is one of the results

    only 19 reviews
    Unknown make
    Chinese vendor
    Dodgy address

    and if that isn't enough, putting the Amazon product URL into FakeSpot (https://www.fakespot.com/)gets this:

  16. sodalime

    sodalime Star commenter

    Me neither :D:D:D:D
    TheoGriff likes this.
  17. sodalime

    sodalime Star commenter

    I wasn't going to bother logging in this evening, until i read this and had to login to 'like' it. :D Brilliant. Thank you!
    TheoGriff likes this.
  18. dumbbells66

    dumbbells66 Lead commenter

    Others have tried to follow on after this one, but none are nowhere near as good. It still makes me laugh and i have read it a bunch of times
    Dunteachin and TheoGriff like this.

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