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Failing the downsizing exam...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by NellyFUF, Sep 21, 2015.

  1. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    I think I am failing here.

    So much stuff. We just the old pram out of the roof space/shed. I was looking them up on ebay. Found myself envying old Silvercross prams.

    I did so well with chucking out all the early years tat - find myself wishing I had x,y,z to entertain the grandboys! I started looking up construction toys on ebay.

    There is just so much stuff. We took an unused roll of cheap carpet to the dump and two once very expensive loud speakers and dumped them too. What next? I just look around and see stuff I really do not want but cannot seem to get rid of. Anyone for a bin bag full of Barbies and Barbie limbs? I've got ten sacks of very good leaf mulch? There is also lots of stuff I do want but will need to be moved when we eventually do move house.

    Just redecorating the bathroom. Found a wall we abandoned when we had our major house works done so many years ago. Rubbish plastering in an emergency situation. (Just had a fourth baby by section). I just slapped some paint on. My decorating is terrible. My plastering is worse.

    Now I ought to clean our the bathroom cupboard but lack the energy.

    I've got 2 largish houses.. long story... both in a state of total disarray.

    Must get on.
  2. TheoGriff

    TheoGriff Star commenter

    I'm tempted to suggest filling them with immigrants/refugees with building and decorating skills . . .

    Best wishes


    Meet Theo on line on the TES JobSeekers Forum, where she answers jobseeking and careers queries regularly each week.
  3. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Yes. That is true. I am trying to reduce my carbon footprint by moving and being careful with the world. And I am so sad to see all those homeless people drifting across Europe in frail hope of shelter.

    If I had to leave my home, what would I take? My grandfather left Ireland and walked to Manchester along the canal with his joiners tools on his back. At last, he had a home and he bought a piano. Apparently, the house was then bombed and they lost the piano. I think it was bombed the day after they bought the piano.

    I have the drawing made by his mother hung in my house. So much stuff.
  4. TheoGriff

    TheoGriff Star commenter

    So much stuff . . . so many memories . . . so much emotion . . .

    Really hard for you.

    Best wishes


    Meet Theo on line on the TES JobSeekers Forum, where she answers jobseeking and careers queries regularly each week.
  5. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    And additionally, over the summer I have been visiting lots of people. Family and friends. As a result, one part of my wants to live frugally and the other half wants to live in the kind of Homes and Gardens luxury that I have seen on my travels. (I have some very well heeled and homed family and acquaintances).

    I have just found my daughters art works in our shed. She worked in perspex. It weighs a ton.

    I will have to change my name to NellytheChaosFairy?NellyTCF. for short.
  6. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Refugees. Ha!

    Don't think it hadn't occurred to me. Our new house, garden and lake need a lot of work. Frankly we could house a few in our boat house and summer house and feed them. They'd be safe. I'd teach them English. They'd work on the property.

    Seems pretty fair to me! ;o)

    Not really going to do that.

    May put up some refugees. But in the house. And not to be indentured labour.

    Oh, Nelly, just chuck it. And lap of luxury? Who needs gold taps?
  7. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    On top of just one of our wardrobes.

    Two straw hats. A cowboy hat. A Spanish helmet. A felt hat. A baseball hat. A baby carrier rucksack. Two hiking rucksacks. One Frustration game brand new. One Action Man doll tent. One paper lampshade painted. Two pairs of curtains 90 x 90 inch. Two pairs of home made curtains similar size. One pram seat. One booster seat.
  8. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    I have never found gold taps to enhance my happiness.

    All the people I visited who had nice homes had at least one occupant who did not work. This is where I went wrong. I blame teaching for the terrible accumulation of cack and education, mainly art and music, for the accumulation of my kids' cack.
  9. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Chuck it. Chuck it now!

    Well, freecycle it. Carboot it. Don't send it to landfill obviously. Deal responsibly with your dross.

    But liberate yourself.
  10. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    Yes Grumpydogwoman. Thanks.
  11. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Oh, frugality v luxury?

    Can you have both?

    A luxurious bathroom but a minimalist bedroom? Something like that?
  12. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    We did install a house bathroom for the kids - which was my idea of luxury as it cost thousands. As they do. Mr Nell has just knocked a girt big lump of plaster off of the ceiling up there. Something to do with being in the roof space to fetch out the old pram.

    I have one big bag for the Charity Shop and some stuff in the bin. The pram and seat are on ebay. The washstand is going on ebay next.

    It's going well for today.

    The trouble with luxury is it entails phoning up people and paying them for doing stuff. This is where we have been going wrong all the years I think. Not doing just that.
  13. aspensquiver

    aspensquiver Star commenter

    Gold taps are not a badge of luxury. They are ugly and a sign of very poor taste. As for just "chucking" accumulated stuff, it's something of a problem for some people and seems the very opposite of straightforward.

    I feel for people with such a problem and all the cheap television programmes featuring people who hoard stuff, only make matters worse for them. Imo. Frankly, such meddling should not be allowed. The stuff accumulated is often a form of security and to remove any part of it seems to be painful and distressing.

    I value order and I am neat and tidy - though not obsessively so which is equally problematic. However, I can appreciate the issues around this and hate to see / hear people who are struggling, being told, in effect, to snap out of it. That is not helpful.
  14. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    All about self-discipline, I think. And a Buddhist approach to attachment to 'stuff'.

    Gold taps are my standard example of pointless ostentation and vulgarity.

    Hoarding seems sadly addictive. The more you hoard the stronger your belief that hoarding helps you. Yes, it's a 1st-world problem.
  15. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    So true. Throwing things out is addictive as well however. I threw out all my payslips on retirement and then needed them within a month or two to sort out a tax issue. My parents died more than two years ago and we've only just sorted out the will so I didn't throw out any of my father's well organised paperwork. Only now am I ready to tear or shred it, i was so worried someone would ask for vital documentation that I had destroyed.

    Our house has very little storage so my natural inclination to be unsentimental about stuff has really come into its own. I'm with William Morris - "useful or beautiful" are good criteria in my book.
  16. Grandsire

    Grandsire Star commenter

  17. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    How about: can someone else make better use of this than I?
  18. gooddays

    gooddays Senior commenter

    Would it be enough to keep a photograph of some larger sentimental possessions, such as the Silver Cross pram?
  19. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    That's a good idea. Photo montage!
  20. NellyFUF

    NellyFUF Lead commenter

    The pram is going. I would give it away - I just don't want to dump stuff in landfill. I have regularly used Free Cycle to get rid of stuff in the past. Lots of stuff goes to charity shops regularly

    We are having our new home's loft converted with lots of storage space, something we lack in this current house. But the builders messed up and did not follow the plans. So things are delayed and I am put out that the plan to have insulated and boarded storage was not followed.
    Soon as we can, stuff we do want, can go to the new house, which should help with the sorting out here. Then we have to redecorate.
    Both houses.
    I don't plan to be minimalist. In fact maximilist is fine. I just am too lazy and so on to get on with all the jobs that need to be done.
    I am keeping dressing up clothes, christmas decorations, tools and art equipment, musical instruments and good toys. Craft stuff too. Books and more books. We plan a big pantry and a workshop as well as a huge shed. There is already a garage and a wash house but these are full of old timber and a greenhouse and coal and logs. I have plans to make mud kitchens and garden benches and creative things like that.
    I am something of the family custodian though. I have the family bible, his gran's victorian tea set, my daughter's cello, another kid's stuff until she makes a permanent home. Things I really don't want but have to look after for now.
    Actually, on this new format is sounds like a great project and that is how I shall move forward. It's reorganisation.
    Trouble with retiring is that one contemplates the future and the end of it all is a shroud with no pockets. I have to lose that mind set and think of all the things that will be fun in the future and what I will need for that journey. So that old dressing gown, that is going away, and that old piece of furniture that can go too. And that guitar is going away - after I have restrung it of course. And that guitar is staying. With the others.

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