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Failing my training year

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by confusedtrainee, Mar 6, 2016.

  1. confusedtrainee

    confusedtrainee New commenter

    I'm at my second school currently and I'm still getting 4s in my formal observations. Due to personal complications (family bereavement) I had 5 weeks off in the Autumn term and now I seem to be on the back foot. I had one 3 at my last school but other than that it's been all 4s.

    The head of department/ITT/mentor/class teachers of both schools have expressed concerns about whether teaching is for me. I'm fresh out of uni and found the paperwork last term to be overwhelming at times. This lead to me having panic attacks during feedback. Whilst it's been better at my second school, I had a panic attack last Wednesday and I am seriously concerned about my progress. My external tutor has recommended that I seek counselling.

    I've been trying to take on board all the feedback that has been given about my lesson plans, but I am inconsistent with it. I look back at how the lesson has gone and berate myself for seemingly obvious issues that could've been fixed. Other trainees on my course are achieving 3s and 2s now.

    This is the second time I've been seriously looking at dropping out. I'm in a supportive department and the classes I have now are lovely, but I'm still only teaching KS3. I'm also not up to ten lessons a week yet. I'm just not sure I'm ready and whether I can make the expected progress in time for the end of July (they added the time I missed on and I'm due to formally finish in August). I have a job interview on Tuesday at the school I attended. The ITT co-ordinator asked me to consider whether I was putting myself under too much pressure.

    I feel like I'm letting my students down and they're not making the progress they could because of me. I'm starting to think it would be best for me to drop out and either get more classroom/educational experience or change my vocation entirely. I don't know if I can defer the rest of my course. I also am thinking that primary is better for me than secondary school.

    Sorry for the wall of text but I thought this was the best place to come for advice - any help appreciated!
     
    LuluLincoln85 likes this.
  2. LuluLincoln85

    LuluLincoln85 New commenter

    Hi there,

    I'm so sorry about your experience and your bereavement. I'm only in week 9 of my ITT and had to go into hospital because I ignored lots of red flags a few weeks ago.
    I don't have a lot of experience, I'm still very new to this, but I do have a family and lots of things to juggle, so I understand that aspect. Please do not be too hard on yourself.

    Here are a few things I've tried in the past, following difficult spells, that have worked:
    1) Moodgym (free Cognitive Behaviour Therapy)
    2) Lavender on pillows or bed sheets/quiet reflection to help with panic attacks.
    3) Set some SMART goals for yourself just a day at a time. ( include something that you have already done that day, that you could tick off right away. :) )
    4) Tell yourself that you are amazing until you believe it, if you don't already feel that way.
    5) Ask yourself, "Can I see myself in any other profession?"
    6) It's absolutely ok to not be ok, so grieve if you want to.
    7) Read The Velveteen Rabbit.

    I hope that is helpful, I wish you all the best.

    :)
     
    blueskydreaming likes this.

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