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extrovert or introvert?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by oldsomeman, Mar 28, 2012.

  1. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    there is saying that still waters run deep.and my gran always used to say that you should watch out for the quiet ones...they might not say a lot or shout and make themselves known....but they do get one with the job!
    In class i look for the quiet ones and ignore the noisy if i can!
    personally im more an introvert.....and am happy sometimes plodding on and leaving others to chew the cud or get on with the shouting
  2. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    To an outsider I come across as seriously introverted.
    To an extent this is my ASD. Under stress I shut the world out ...and I am non-verbal with most people (including family).......I alos think with hindsight that some stuff that happened in the past caused me to shut people out even more than my ASD alone...but I don't think I am actually 'introverted!
    I remember that at Uni when I was studying European Studies I had German as one of my majors (before I had to leave due to illness.....and switched majors to Pure Maths which I studied at home with the OU)....My translations were generally graded as '1' and my essays '2:1/1'.....My spoken German was 'U' the tutor used to despair! 'I can;t give you any marks if you won't open your mouth!.....Say something.....anything....German....English....Outer-Mogolian...I don;t care just SAY something!'......of course it'd be different today - at least we know why I am this way!
    I come across as painfully shy - I don't look people in the eye...rarely speak....but I am quite a bubbly little thing deep down.
    I am an extrovert trapped inside an introverts mind!

  3. I am sure I was introverted while a boy and a student, but chose teaching as a profession, where a degree of extraversion is expected if you are to talk to many motley groups of children ,teenagers and indeed other teachers. I continued to think of myself as fairly reserved, but now I realize I wasn't and regard myself as confident and outgoing. I love talking and making people laugh, and the only things I can't be persuaded to do in public are to dance in a formal way (although spontaneous movement at pop concerts come naturally) and to walk the streets in a state of semi-undress, like the half-naked specimens who display themselves the moment the thermometer hits 15c round here.They have no sense of self-awareness or embarrassment, which should not be confused with extraversion.
  4. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I guess I am quite introverted and have learnt to act more extrovert than I am.It depends on the situation though. New people and situations definately introvert but with people I know well I'm quite extrovert. I hate the way that some schools are now looking for everybody to be an all singing and dancing duracell bunny. What happened to diversity? It does not make me a bad teacher. In fact my partner teacher who is a just as good extrovert teacher compliments me. There are some children who prefer me and some who prefer her. Our head definately prefers the extrovert teachers and seems to assume the quieter ones are boring or at least thats how he makes me feel. He is a big larger than life extovert. The trouble is that now I feel a lesser person in his eyes, I find myself shrivelling under his gaze with the children. Even as an introvert I am comfortably extrovert in front of children and collegues and will join in with banter for the children's benefit with collegues. When my head joins in I find myself stuck for words and just let the head take over.
  5. anteater

    anteater New commenter

    At parents' evening earlier this week, a quiet girl's mother nearly hugged me when I said that she is very quiet generally in class but produces excellent speaking work when needed (English Speaking and Listening assessments).
    She was very distressed that many teachers had written on her report that she should make more "effort" to join in discussions, and, even worse, that she should "be more confident". The girl is perfectly capable of speaking in a small group or doing a presentation if warned beforehand - it doesn't help if people treat her shyness as a huge problem.
  6. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    When I was an NQT my lovely head told me he had watched me in the staff room in the first few weeks and had seen that I was a thinker and a watcher. He didnt see my shyness as a hinderance, but actually as a benefit in what was a staffroom of quite tricky people all a lot older than me. He said I was right to people watch and suss them out so that I didnt get in with the wrong crowd(there were some naughty staff) and didnt stick my foot in it and appear a know it all as the newcomer. Funnily enough although he had definately grown into his role and had the presence to be a head, I think deep down he was also an introvert.
  7. anteater

    anteater New commenter

    It takes one to know one, as they say.
    My very loud and larger than life colleague loves the extrovert kids, and they love her back, very obviously. I have (I think) a quiet bond with those whom she dismisses as "boring". As long as there are enough of each kind of teacher, there will be someone looking out for all the kids.

  8. moonpenny

    moonpenny Occasional commenter

    My kids are both quiet but they are in the extension group and are hardworking and well behaved.
    My son's last report - he is year nine - said that he had already done GCSE past papers and passed - think geography was an A.
    His report said that he would be the perfect student apart from the fact that ,even though he has got more vocal, he should be more extrovert.
    I don't worry about him at all because I think we all find our place in life naturally as we grow older and I think we shouldn't be sending messages to our kids that they need to change who they are as though who they are is not good enough.
    As others have said, you can remain an introvert but still perform, just like some actors do - people like Robert D'nero have said they are introverts.
    I like thoughtful, deep people who have a sense of humour and some of those are introvert,some are extrovert.
  9. It's worth listening to Susan Cain's talk on the TED website titled 'The Power of Introverts' - she talks very interestingly about our extrovert bias in education. She also discusses the negative effects that collaborative learning is having on our most introverted (and incidentally, brightest) students. It's a very interesting talk that made a lot of sense to me. Often when I plan a whizzy, collaborative lesson, I think how I, personally, would hate such a lesson and would be much happier reading a book about the subject!
  10. moonpenny

    moonpenny Occasional commenter

    My preferred way to learn now is listening. I think working collaboratively can be very useful in a work situation but only when it isn't contrived. It is difficult as a teacher to respond to all the different ways of learning which suit all the kids in one class .I have to admit to hardly ever listening to anything in lessons at school. I was too busy doodling or daydreaming. I now force myself to concentrate if I am in a situation where I want to learn from the speaker.
    My son is like a sponge soaking up facts and information and is often found surfing for more facts,news,politics.
    I came in from work the other day and he had the house of commons debate on his TV.
    Who says it is wrong to let kids have their own TVs.
    If I'd have got to the remote first it would have been deal or no deal, followed by come dine with me. Although, he does spend the majority of his free time playing online strategy games with his friends.
    He know a lot more facts than me as I have a memory like a sieve when it comes to retaining dates,numbers or random facts.
    I suppose that is why teaching is such a challenge as there is no one way of teaching which is going to suit everyone.
  11. I read a review of the book and found myself coming to the same conclusion. I think classrooms have always favoured extroverts and it isn't anything new.
    I wonder how this ties in with the learning styles business. Are extroverts usually aural or kinasthetic learners and introverts the visual ones?
  12. That's a good point. It's true that many loud and out-going people (of late) can't really be described as extroverts...Often they merely lack social skills, manners, and have little awareness of the rights and sensibilities of others...seeing themselves as the centre of their particular universe. They shout their mouths off inappropriately, often behave stupidly..and might be boors rather than extroverts.
    It was easier to identify 'types' when I was growing up and virtually everyone in my circle was mild mannered and fairly deferential...always! Louder, more confident types were just that...but in the 50s, and 60s (and 70s I suppose to some extent) people always seemed more aware of others, more polite and much more conscious of their place in the grand scheme of things...There were leaders and followers..but it was possible to like and admire the leaders, the confident, bolder, more active ones. They were much-needed, but now it's almost obligatory to 'stand out' and be noticed, and not always for worthy reasons.
    I am a mix of out-going, bubbly and loud...with nervous, self-aware, shy undertones..but fortunately now I am properly grown up I am much more confident than I once was. I have no desire to be the centre of attention, but if it happens it doesn't faze me.
  13. I doubt anybody would class me as an introvert but I am a visual learner.
    My son is more of an introvert and a kineasthetic learner.
    My daughter is an extrovert and an aural learner.
    My ex is an introvert and an aural learner.
    So my suspicion is that most of us are a right old mix when we get down to the nitty gritty and that too much emphasis is placed on what you are (or designated by dubious tests to be) and how you learn and that labels are not a good thing and detrimental to learning and development.
  14. I'm really not sure what I am. I think I'm an introvert at heart, but I work hard at appearing to be an extrovert so that people will like me. Sad, but true...
    Will have to ask husband for an objective view. He knows me better than I know myself!
  15. I'm really not sure what I am. I think I'm an introvert at heart, but I work hard at appearing to be an extrovert so that people will like me. Sad, but true...
    That was me until a few years ago....and then I discovered people like me just as much when I'm quiet.....they probably prefer it!
    I can certainly do the extrovert thing when teaching or public speaking but much prefer being quiet, watching and listening - especially in groups of people.
    Being alone never worries me; in fact, it is essential to my mental well being.
  16. You are an introvert and that is why I love you to tiddlybitties.
    How you put up with me is often beyond me. I must exhaust you (mind, you and your jobs got me panting...)
  17. Ditto.
    But nobody, ever, has described me as an introvert.
    I wonder what manashee sees me as?
  18. lrw22

    lrw22 Established commenter

    I am an introvert but I think we live in a world ruled by extroverts. I have a friend who is very much the extrovert. She struggles to be alone and constantly seeks out the company of others. She also suffers from the misconception that there is somehow something wrong with being an introvert and that the extroverts are "right." When I talk about being myself an introvert she speaks to me in a comforting tone telling me that "You're not that bad." We were walking to a mutual friends house for a meal and she announced that she had been looking forward to it as she loved socialising and "catching up with people." I replied that I wasn't so keen and would sometimes rather be at home with a book or a DVD. She looked at me as though I had just announced I had a serious cocaine habit!! The laughable thing being that socialising doesn't involve her catching up with anyone, it generally involves her dominating the conversation and making sure that everyone knows how wonderful her life is!!
    Rant over.
  19. This thread is so interesting.

    Just out of interest, how do you cope with being an introverted teacher? Do you have strategies? For example, finding a quiet space at certain points in the day to 'recharge'? Personally, I become very drained being around people all day long - for example, teaching five lessons followed by a meeting (or, heaven forbid, a parents' evening). I really enjoy my job but do find it tiring to 'perform' and interact with so many people for so many hours a day. Sometimes I will come and home and just want to be quiet all evening. I often think that teaching must be one of the most full-on, people-centred jobs going and sometimes wonder whether it's really all that suited to an introverted personality. That said, I work very hard, am very 'tuned in' to the moods of the kids and have a geeky passion for my subject (all of which I perceive to be introvert traits that make me good at my job)
  20. I think you're probably right, CQ! D said I'm definitely an introvert too. Damn - I'm not fooling anyone. ;-)
    Hey, my jobs are driving me up the wall too! If this one doesn't work out, I'm definitely saying 'sod it' and seting up my dog walking business. Perfect job for an introvert... :)

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