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End of tether reached

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by Tom_Bennett, May 18, 2011.

  1. Tom_Bennett

    Tom_Bennett Occasional commenter

    This is in reply to the message I received: the correspondant will recognise the query.
    Sorry to hear that it's getting so hard for you right now. Don't feel bad about what you did- we've all been driven to the point of snapping, and it's good that you've realised that you're starting to get really stressed as early as you have. That way you can do something about it. I recommend the following:
    1. Disengage from them slightly. Doctors and nurses can't break down every time someone dies; in the same way you too will develop the ability to distance yourself emotionally from the children and their often savage ways of expressing themselves. When I started, every rude kid's comment went straight through me; now I look at them as if they were on telly and think, 'Gosh, look at him.' You have to. They don't know you; they're not your children. You're only human for caring what someone thinks, but for their sake, and for your sake, you have to pull back from them and realise that even if they thought you were Satan, if all you've done is ask them to do some work, then they are in the wrong, not you. Some of them have very dysfunctional value systems. You're an adult, and you know what they need.
    2. Make sure that the rest of your life is devoted to you; try not to take work home. If a set of books doesn't get marked one week...well, who gives a damn? You're human. Do what a human can do, then book some time for you, doing things that you like to do. See some friends (some non-teaching friends if you have any left :)) who can give you some perspective. There's nothing like talking to a bunch of doctors and brickies for realising, 'Why AM I freaking out over a four foot kid?'
    3. Next time someone shouts at you, don't get mad- get even. Take their name and set a detention/ call home/ refer them to a line manager for a serious sanction. That kid is looking to get a response from you. Don't give them the satisfaction: just apply sanctions that will deter them in the future. Speak softly, but carry a big stick.
    You'll be a great teacher, I'm sure, because you care so much. Now care a bit more about you.
    Good luck
    http://behaviourguru.blogspot.com/
     

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