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Embarrassing problem due to allowing daughter's boyfriend to stay over :(

Discussion in 'Personal' started by tuftytail, Oct 10, 2009.

  1. We allow our daughter to have her boyfriend stay the night, however, we didn't bank on having to endure the racket of their noisy sex life :( Has anyone else had this problem and how did you deal with it?
     
  2. Poppy_Red

    Poppy_Red New commenter

    Can't you just have a quiet word? I know I would be mortified if I had a boyfriend to stay and my parents had heard us at it! That might be enough to embarrass them into being a bit quieter? Alternatively, dont let him stay over! How old is your daughter btw?
     
  3. Marcia Blaine

    Marcia Blaine New commenter

    I'd have thought an arch "could you guys maybe keep it down a bit?" to your daughter would make the point without causing undue embarrassment to either side.
    Or have the guy horsewhipped in the town square...[​IMG]
     
  4. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Tell her it sounds so good you want some for yourself - ask her to detail what she's doing!


    No - maybe that would encourage her.
     
  5. Our daughter's 16. I'm regretting being liberal minded by letting him stay though. He's a lovely boy (18) and they are in a relationship (he's in the army). I knew they'd get up to stuff but it's just the noise, I literally think that any minute they are going to fall through the ceiling. We allowed them to stay in her room because I didn't want them doing it in any old place outdoors(plus it's safer, cos you don't know what pervs are about these days) like I had to when I was a teen. I've tried having a word with her but to be quite honest I'm not sure she took it on board because I was using all sorts of euphemisms instead of speaking plainly. Plus I feel sorry for her 14 year old brother because if we can hear it he obviously can [​IMG]
     
  6. Jonha

    Jonha New commenter

    And not much of an example to set for him, is it - his barely legal sister banging away next door while mum and dad watch the telly?
    Is that the 'ideal' you want both children to chase?
    Still, I can guarantee you the 18 year old boy is laughing his head off and jumping with joy as he goes home - talk about having your cake and eating it!! A free room and free sex??
     
  7. My daughter is 18 and has been with her boyfriend for more than three years. I occasionally let him stay over (maybe two or three times a month). One time they could be heard, but usually they do keep the noise down. I just told her the next morning that I could hear them the previous night and didn't want it to happen again. She was embarrassed, but it worked. They have been quiet since then. If they had been noisy again, I wouldn't allow him to stay.
    I must admit, though, that he has only been allowed to stay over for the last few months, from just before her eighteenth birthday. And even then, only because they are in a long term relationship. I think 16 is too young to have boys staying over, but maybe I'm just over protective [​IMG]
     
  8. You could try competing with them. Let your younger son know in advance to prevent him getting traumatised.
    Try shouting Yes, Yes Yes in a very excited and ecstatic manner. Then say: Have we no more batteries.
     
  9. I would never want to be in the situation of knowing my 16 year old was getting more sex than me
     
  10. My parents allowed my bf (now my hub) to stay over when i was 18. I'd have been totally mortified if i thought they'd heard us having sex!! i think you need to say something. I think having noisy sex in your parents house is highly disrespectful!!
     
  11. Would love to hear you describe the noises which you hear. Are there any smacking sounds?
     
  12. Just mention to your daughter over the dinner table that you were very surprised ,as you had her down as a "moaner" rather than a " religious screamer"
     
  13. I would mention it to her on her own. She will be embarrased, but at least she will do something about it.
    It is disrespectful.

    The first time I was allowed a boyfriend to stay over was when I was 19 and come during the holidays from Uni.
    My mum didn't want he to stay, but I attempted to speak to her like an adult and not throw my toys out of the pram.

    Told her I had already moved out of home and I was home visiting during the holidays (true because I never moved back in). That we were in a seriously relationship and were having sex already and him not staying over would make the situation difficult because he was travelling a long way to visit the family.
    I would have never dreamed of making any noise though!!
     
  14. Doh that should have said "come home during the holidays" oh dear....
     
  15. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    In our house it is the other way round. If the kids come and stay we have to keep the noise down!!!
     
  16. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    I hope that the OP realises that by allowing her children to have their boy(girl)friend staying over,she's removing one of the reasons that we used to have to move out of mum and dad's house?
     
  17. As always, thanks for all the replies. A quick look at my history will reveal that I've posted on here a couple of times regarding my daughter, who has always been a bit of a handful!
    I also have a 22 year old daughter who doesn't not live at home but visits occasionally with her long term boyfriend - you never hear a peep out of those two. However, my 16 year old never does anything in halves, hence my dilemma. At the moment we are just grinning and bearing it but if she ever gets another boyfriend then I won't allow him to stay over. I can't bear to ban her current boyfriend because he is due to be posted to Afghanistan soon for 6 months...also, to be quite honest he doesn't seem to have much of a home life with his parents. As soon as he joined the army they used his room as a junk room and he had to sleep on the sofa when he came home.
     
  18. You say she's barely legal but the fact is it IS legal. She has been prescribed the pill since she was 15 by her GP so she IS determined to have sex. I just want her to be safe instead of finding somewhere unsafe to do it.
     
  19. How embarrassing!!
    I too was allowed my boyfriend to stay over from the age of16 and parents bought us a double bed so that sleeping would be easier. If anything we had less sex because of it...would be horrified if my parents heard us!
     
  20. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    I agree with Dolly and Biology_Sparkly that it's pretty disrespectful to be so loud. I think you need to be quite firm with her, particularly if you've tried beating around the bush (as it were) and she's not taken the hint. Tell her that if it continues, either her b/f will be banished to the sofa, or you will Have a Word with him rather than her (to me, this would have been the most mortifying outcome). She needs to understand that her behaviour has an impact on everyone in the family, and that rubbing your noses in the priviledges you've allowed her is going to make you angry and upset, rather than impressed.
    Good luck!
     

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