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Email from a student and a reply from me

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by Helen123abc, Dec 16, 2010.

  1. This is an email from a student who has a history of not speaking or working. She behaved in this way a few days ago,

    Miss Newbold,
    I am sorry about the way I acted in your lesson today. I realise that it is not acceptable for me to just refuse to talk to you and work, like I did today. I am really trying but sometimes it is really hard for me to. I have emailed you instead of apologizing verbally because you seem really upset with me and I couldn't face you to talk to you. I'm sorry for everything. I promise you that I will try much more next time.
    (name)
    I replied because I didn't know what else to do,
    (name)
    I know how hard it is for you to talk sometimes, but even when your not wanting to work, you will have to. If you need help then just ask me, I am not going to say anything nasty to you as I thnk you might think I will sometimes, but I am your teacher and I am here to help you with anything that I can.
    It is not acceptable for you to just refuse to talk to me and to refuse to work. I understand that you might not feel comfortable with talking to me sometimes, maybe next time this happens, instead of talking to me, type it into a word document or something and get me to come over and read it, that way I will know that you are not in a mood to talk and I will find out what is wrong, then I can help you.
    If you try more then I will really appreciate it. I want you to do well and I know you can, you just have to try.
    Miss Newbold.
    What do you think of this?
    Helen.
     
  2. This is an email from a student who has a history of not speaking or working. She behaved in this way a few days ago,

    Miss Newbold,
    I am sorry about the way I acted in your lesson today. I realise that it is not acceptable for me to just refuse to talk to you and work, like I did today. I am really trying but sometimes it is really hard for me to. I have emailed you instead of apologizing verbally because you seem really upset with me and I couldn't face you to talk to you. I'm sorry for everything. I promise you that I will try much more next time.
    (name)
    I replied because I didn't know what else to do,
    (name)
    I know how hard it is for you to talk sometimes, but even when your not wanting to work, you will have to. If you need help then just ask me, I am not going to say anything nasty to you as I thnk you might think I will sometimes, but I am your teacher and I am here to help you with anything that I can.
    It is not acceptable for you to just refuse to talk to me and to refuse to work. I understand that you might not feel comfortable with talking to me sometimes, maybe next time this happens, instead of talking to me, type it into a word document or something and get me to come over and read it, that way I will know that you are not in a mood to talk and I will find out what is wrong, then I can help you.
    If you try more then I will really appreciate it. I want you to do well and I know you can, you just have to try.
    Miss Newbold.
    What do you think of this?
    Helen.
     
  3. YesMrBronson

    YesMrBronson New commenter

    I think it's not a great idea to repost those emails on this forum especially as you appear to be using your real name. I would ask the mods to remove this thread if I were you.
    Also, in light of this story I feel I must point out that if you have not yet sent your email you should change "even when your not wanting to work" to 'even when you're not wanting to work'.
     
  4. You've already replied, so too late.

    Go to your HOD, show the emails and explain why you replied.



    I actually find it very encouraging that she emailed you, and that has to be admired from both your and her points of view.
    Follow it up with a short chat next time you see her...nothing heavy, just saying you appreciate her email and you are understanding of her feelings and offer another email correspondence - all copied to HOD when you receive of course
     
  5. Random175

    Random175 New commenter

    I agree with mr Bronson. This girl has obviously put her trust in you - why are you posting her private email to you up for all to see? It doesn't matter that she is unidentifiable - you clearly are. I also cannot work out your motivation for doing this - well I have a theory but it isn't very nice so I'm saying nowt.

     
  6. Newbold is not my last name so Miss Newbold is not my teaching name, I use this on all of my internet posts as I then can keep my own privacy and my students privacy, The messages have both been modified to add to that privacy.
    Helen
     
  7. Any email contact apart from the most banal and mundane info- like 'band practice is cancelled tonite due to bad weather...is extremely unwise.
     
  8. Using real names or identities for anything else than other mundane stuff is extremely stupid and foolish when dealing with students or parents of any age.
    You can never be 100% where your email may go and who exactly are you talking to.
    Obviously you are not very savvy when it comes to the internet!
     
  9. Accepting this kind of rubbish encourages students to avoid direct discussion
     
  10. Smirk- I think you misunderstood what I said. Helen Newbold id NOT my real name. I use this on most things on the internet that I use professionally. The messages were both moderated so that they say the same thing as the originals but in different words and a different order. I'm sure I know what I'm doing as I am an ICT teacher. I TEACH things to do with privacy and encourage it. This is why I use a totally different email adress and details to hide my identity. Nothing like my name and date of birth has anything to so with me. I use this for all things that I use so that I know what I'm doing and so that I can contact other professionals annoymously.
    Helen (Which is not my actual name)
     
  11. I agree that it's best not to send pupils emails, unless it's a standard impersonal note.
     
  12. I have heard of selective mutism but, she does talk a lot of the time. Sometimes she is very anxious about talking and sometimes she just doesn't. When she doesn't talk she does not even seem to aknowledge that anyone is talking to her. I am not judging her, I want to help her and try and get her to overcome the fear of talking. The point of the post was to see i anyone knew a reason that she might have emailed me. Emailing is not a way most students communicate with their teachers in our school.
    Helen. (Not my real name)
     
  13. Henriettawasp

    Henriettawasp New commenter

    Perhaps because you are an ICT teacher and she thought this was how you would normally communicate?
     
  14. ScienceGuy

    ScienceGuy Occasional commenter

    I would only email puils (and parents) from my school email address which is monitored and archived so that there could be no arguement as to what I have sent / received. I find email a useful way for communication e.g. for pupils on study leave / working on coursework over holidays
     
  15. I agree with scienceguy.
    Mundane stuff, helping students with draft essays/presentations, simple parent requests like 'we need to buy a saxophone for Johnny, where would you suggest?' etc. but nothing else.
    There is a big tendency for people to do 'ping pong' emails.
    Useless.
    People are far less guarded when writing emails, and with complaints/ feelings from parents, parents tend to be far more agressive, assertive and less diplomatic than they otherwise should be. When they have to come in person it is amazing how the wind goes out of their sails and suddenly things change.
    I never respond to professional emails unless it is really necessary. You just wait and eventually the person come salong and says ' did you receive my email?'
    No...
    Then they actually TALK to you.
    Once an email disappears you never no where it is going.
     

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