Last year I posted about my parents, who have since moved into sheltered accommodation near us but are now considering residential care. My dad is 86, frail, unsteady and has just recovered from a heart attack. He also has skin cancer and has recently completed a course of radiotherapy, excision of a cancerous tumour and plastic surgery. While hospitalised he became incontinent and now has a catheter which he struggles to manage. Since leaving hospital two weeks ago he is often confused and breathless and I dont think he is taking the tablets he should be taking. I have been going in several times a day when I can to make sure he does and to empty his catheter, but his urine is very dark and I think he is restricting his liquid intake so as not to have to empty it. He looks very tired and has lost a lot of weight. My mother is 78, incontinent, walks with a frame and is finding it very difficult to cope. They have just sold their house, so have over £100,000 of capital. Residential care here costs around £550 a week each. They currently have carers in twice a day, costing approx £1000 a month. Last week I spent a lot of time looking into residential care and found what I thought would be the ideal care home for them; they have both been to see it and after a lot of soul searching, have today agreed to go there for a fortnight with a view to possibly staying there. When I emailed my brothers and sisters (big family) to let them know this, one of my brothers replied to say that he doesnt think this is the right thing to do and that they should stay in their own home for as long as possible - he is also concerned about their capital being depleted. I understand how he feels, but he is not here with them and I dont think he realises how vulnerable they have become. I think he thinks they are doing it because they think it will make things easier for me. I thought they had reached the correct decision for them but now I am not so sure. On the other hand, I look at them sometimes and am so worried about them that I hate leaving them alone in case one of them has a fall or something else happens. They have only been in their current place since February and have had the ambulance or paramedics out on 5 or 6 occasions. Of course I want them to keep their independence for as long as they can, but I also want them to be safe and I dont feel they are. How can I convince my brother?