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Education Humour

Discussion in 'Ofsted inspections' started by anon650, Jan 7, 2012.

  1. [/b]


    The Way I See It….Teacher
    from Old School </font></u>[/b]




    With my
    summer tan fading and the 6 week break becoming a distant memory, I drive up to
    the newly re-furbished gates of &ldquo;over-subscribed school in sought after area&rdquo;
    for the September Training Day. Ooooh , see the old faces with their new
    hair-cuts, see the Senior Management looking casual and almost approachable and
    there huddled in a corner, see the 20 NQT&rsquo;s who all look about 12.

    So, today&rsquo;s
    agenda is cleverly pinned on the back of each member of staff and personalised
    with their PMR targets. What a great starter&hellip;.NOT!</font>

    I see Teacher
    with Outstanding Feature has a somewhat aspirational target&hellip;100% A*/A in A
    level Geology.

    Hmmm, easily
    done I think. Move all the borderline A/B students onto the recently introduced
    HND Geology course&hellip; sorted.</font>


    We all sit
    down and pretend to look interested whilst thinking about the week&rsquo;s to-do
    list. Hopeful Head gets the term underway&hellip;.&rdquo;Congratulations to Core Subject Department&rdquo;
    he announces. &ldquo;Results are up by 0.75% to 98.25% A*/A &hellip;.blah, blah, blah&rdquo;

    The closing
    sermon on &ldquo;be inspirational, be outstanding be the one who makes a
    difference&rdquo; sends us on our way&hellip;to tea
    ,coffee and the loo.</font>




    Half-term
    came and went in a flash and I am behind with all my exam classes. Not that
    surprising really when 10 out 20 of my lessons have been taken from me by Core
    Subject Dept for extra exam prep. I wonder if my 50% loss in lesson time is
    worth their 1.75% gain in exam grades. Oh well, I&rsquo;m sure it&rsquo;s all for good
    measure.

    Sexy, but bit
    of a sod HOD stands clutching the Departmental Development Plan in morning briefing
    &ndash; this can only mean one thing&hellip;OFSTED.</font>

    Teacher with
    Outstanding Feature is already dusting down her &ldquo; Gimmicks and gadgets for Outstanding
    Lessons&rdquo; Box.



    It&rsquo;s the
    start of the Ofsted week. I arrive at school feeling zombified by the overkill
    on lesson planning sheets. We all pile into the staff room with extra bags
    under our eyes to meet and greet the Ofsted Team. Lead Inspector looks about 105 but a jolly
    chap nonetheless. He reminds us that there is nothing to get stressed about and
    we should all just carry on as normal. If normal means everyone running around
    like headless chickens and panic-stricken at the thought of their lesson being
    observed then we don&rsquo;t have anything to worry about.

    I notice that
    Teacher with Outstanding Feature is looking particularly pleased with her giant
    &ldquo;Countdown Clock&rdquo; on the screen. Apparently she has set it so that a photo of a
    pupil in the class appears every 5 mins. A timely cue for some Assessment for
    Learning to take place.</font>


    I make my way
    to my teaching room. Just my luck&hellip;. Lead Inspector is already there, perched on
    a stool, clipboard at the ready and with the Ofsted smile fixated on his face.</font>

    Lead
    inspector will be looking to tick 101 boxes for an &ldquo;outstanding&rdquo; grade. But
    personally I will be happy with a &ldquo;satisfactory&rdquo;. I have decided to stick with
    my tried and trusted recipes for student success. I only manage 10 ticks.

    Well, news travels
    fast. I am sitting in Hopeful Head&rsquo;s
    office for my &rdquo;staff intervention interview&rdquo;. Hopeful Head lists some of my
    downfalls in my observed lesson.</font>



    <font size="3">My
    lesson objectives were not displayed on all 4 walls and I only mentioned them 5
    times.</font>



    <font size="3">I
    didn&rsquo;t do my Assessment for Learning every 5 mins </font>



    <font size="3">2
    students broke the &ldquo;no hands up&rdquo; rule.</font>



    <font size="3">Only
    25 students were able to quote their forecast grade, target grade, FFT grade
    and their working at level.</font>



    <font size="3">The
    task at the start was too open-ended but the task at the end was too &ldquo;closed&rdquo;.</font>


    In my defence I tell him that the
    students often thank me for teaching them and helping them understand the work&hellip;
    &ldquo;but does it tick the box ?&ldquo; he asks. &ldquo;It ticks my box&rdquo; I reply. He is not
    amused and recommends that I attend the Ofsted linked &ldquo;Master 101&rdquo; course. In the meantime I can do
    some lesson observations in school.
    <font size="3" face="Times New Roman">

    </font> It&rsquo;s official, the school has achieved
    &ldquo;Outstanding&rdquo; status. Apparently, amongst other things, the Ofsted team was
    very impressed with the school&rsquo;s effective &ldquo; staff intervention interviews&rdquo;.</font>


    Hmmm&hellip;.I congratulate myself for being
    part of that and soon forget about my observed lesson.</font>

    <font size="3" face="Times New Roman">

    </font>
     
  2. wigy

    wigy New commenter

    Thanks-I wish I thought you were joking but it looks true. Our geniuses have put us through 5 different lesson plans in a year each time telling us 'that this is the definitive article '!
     
  3. This is hilarious (and unfortunately true)! Do you have an online blog?
     
  4. I haven't got a blog yet...but there's a thought. Watch this space. Thank you!
    I would really like the Senior Management in my school to read it (as an anononymous piece of course) and step back and take note....because I think they have lost the plot!
     

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