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Eccentric teachers from my time as a pupil...

Discussion in 'Personal' started by kibosh, Feb 9, 2011.

  1. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    We had a Maths teacher who was permanently ******. The Heidie would pop into the room for a 'visit' and both of them would nip into this big, walk-in, stores cupboard and stay there for ages. They would come out reeking of whisky. She was regularly so drunk she could barely walk and would just stand and sway, whilst holding onto a bannister. Her eyes were permanently unfoccused.
    The Head of Physics had a penchant for grabbing boys by the ear. One day he pulled too hard and tore/ripped a boys ear. He would also come in and shout and scream at our physics teacher. Our physics teacher was a poor soul who we all ran riot with mercilessly. We set fire to the wooden benches with bunsen burners and played strip poker in class. [​IMG]
  2. Had a biology teacher who was also ******, she used to smell of alcohol and her hands would shake. I remember having a student teacher who the whole class bullied til she ran away in tears. We had an English teacher who would clip people on the back of the head and thrown pens at us. We had a lovely very elderly German teacher who used to tell us all kinds of stories about her youth during the second world war in Germany, but we never actually did any work.
  3. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    We had an elderly Languages teacher who used to amble downhill to town at lunchtime and sink a few pints in a local hostelry. He'd stagger back up the hill to school in a daze, and anyone who wanted to skive another teacher's Languages lesson would sneak into the back of his class at the start of the afternoon and stay on the back row with their head down. He rarely if ever noticed, as he was slumped at the front desk with his head down too. When he was invigilating an exam and was wandering around between the desks you could smell the booze fumes approaching before he drew level with you.
  4. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    We had an English teacher who used to keep a bottle of Whisky in the library (where our sixth-form English lessons were held). His teaching varied between dazzling brilliant and downright hopeless. At one point our class ended up sending a delegation to a different English teacher to ask for help with our studies - we had obtained a copy of the exam syllabus and realised that our teacher was ignoring the set books, one month before the exam and we had only covered 2 of the set texts!
    Then there was the Math teacher who had a deadly aim with the blackboard eraser - the wooden type. Each lesson the eraser would be propelled at half a dozen pupils always whistling just past the ear....until the time one new boy moved in an attempt to duck. More experienced pupils knew to sit perfectly still and you'd be fine! The eraser caught the lad just above the eye....no damage but a whole lot of blood. Just an inch either way and it would have been a whole different, more tragic story. The teacher was never disciplined, but he never threw the eraser again - and his teaching became a lot more subdued and boring.
  5. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Is eccentricity synonymous with alcoholism?
  6. It does seem as though a lot of alcohol is involved here. Perhaps pupils were as difficult to teach then as they are now.
    I had a wonderful French teacher who wore his gown at all times and chainsmoked through every lesson brushing ash off his chest with half a finger, just like Dave Allen.
  7. inky

    inky Lead commenter


    The trouble with eccentric [as opposed to alcoholic] teachers is that, however brilliaant they are, they'll often only win the affection of eccentric students. Some students are very mistrustful of eccentricity.
  8. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Which is sad.
  9. mzuzu

    mzuzu New commenter

    "Len" the maths teacher could juggle and balance a chair on his chin, both at the same time I seem to remember, a treat for the end of terms.
    Not long ago I read a Mark Billingham novel where he was thinly disguised as "Ken" and killed off as part of the plot, (MB is an old boy) I was really upset.
  10. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    Two of the nuns at my Grammar school were called Batman and Robin by everyone (when out of earshot). One was tall and fat and the other was small and fat. They'd walk evereywhere together in break times and their black cloaks and headcoverings would billow out in the breeze as they marched along.
    The one who taught Chemistry never actually explained anything. She'd read a statement from the text book and would then say "Hands up those who understand!". A few hands went up. She'd then read the statement again and ask for hands-up again. A few more hands went up. The statement was then read a 3rd time and we'd all capitulate and put our hands up. "Wonderful!", she'd say before moving onto the next statement and going through the rigmarole again.

  11. Doitforfree

    Doitforfree Star commenter

    We once locked our poor Welsh Maths teacher in a cupboard.

    And my RE teacher was also the librarian. She used to come to our lessons halfway through and spend a good part of the remaining lesson telling us how good she was for running the library out of the goodness of her heart in her own time!
  12. kibosh

    kibosh Star commenter

    We had a very incompetent Modern Studies teachers who had the job of teaching from a classroom situated in a horsa hut. All the windows were at playground level. One day, as she wrote things on the board, about half the class surreptitiously crept out of an open window and sneaked off. I was one of the ones remaining and you should have seen the look on her face when she turned round.
    She wasn't eccentric (sorry) but at least there was no alcohol involved.
  13. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    My Art teacher was also a drinker. He would set us the task of copying a sweet wrapper then shut himself away in his cupboard for the afternoon only emerging to yell at us to be quiet and breath scotch fumes all over us.

    My Year 6 teacher at primary was a blackboard rubber chucker. He also used to set us tasks such as 'write about the day in the life of a lightbulb' when he was annoyed with us. To be fair the poor man had 42 of us 10-11 year olds in a tiny classroom and he was only a young man himself thinking back. He was a smashing teacher though.
  14. A French teacher whose aftershave preceeded him by about 20 yards ( we had long corridors);
    an English teacher who wore a chalk dusty gown and lurid coloured waist coats and who took groups of students away for weekends( and we never thought anything of it);
    another who constantly ran his hands through his hair - when they were coated with chalk! If you run out of gel, repeated applications of chalk dust have the same effect. A lecturer whose ties always looked as if he had spilt egg yolk/ tomato sauce down them and whose lectures were measured in erms.
  15. I had a geography teacher who I couldn't stand at the beginning of the year. He varied between apoplectic rages to exceptionally dry humour. By the end of the year, I had realised he was a great teacher and received far more humour than rage once we had worked out how to make him tick.
    He was proper old school with patches on his elbows etc. He used to complain incessantly about his dry cleaning bill as he put board pen all over his shirts and jackets. He yearned for the days of the chalk board when it would just rub off
  17. No alcoholics at my school (that I was aware of) but we did have a chain smoker.
    He was head of physics and refused to allow any girls in his top set. I was taught in an adjoining lab, with an old fashioned prep room between his room an ours. He seemed to spend a good 50% of his time in there, judging by the hacking cough and billowing smoke that used to creep into our lab.
  18. surf kitty too

    surf kitty too Occasional commenter

    Primary school, the equivalent of year 5, our teacher used to regularly disappear into the boys toilet next door to our room. We used to patiently queue up by the door so that on his return we could ask for help with work etc. Always reeked of tobacco, and the boys always had to rinse the ash away from the sinks...
    At secondary school, we had Technical Drawing. Dullest lesson ever invented. Presided over by old guy with short spikey hair (Spike!). He would explain the task, sit down in his comfy chair and promptly go to sleep. On many occasions he awoke to find an empty classroom!
  19. Very true - also, I felt safer in his class than I did in most of the others. In a weird way, I knew what to expect and, that was quite comforting .
  20. When I was in year 12 (Well Lower sixth really) I hit the jackpot when it comes to eccentric teachers. I was in a class of about a dozen girls who had all been thrown out of Latin at some point and now needed it for uni. So maybe we were an odd lot ourselves. We had 3 teachers, whether this was because they all wanted to teach us or none of them could face us for 3 lessons a week, I really don't know.
    They were all unique in our experience. No 1 was an exmonk. He had left his monastery for love. Every lunchtime a big buxom blond woman would wait for him in a mini (car) at the school gates. This fed our fevered imaginations. He also always wore sandals on his barefeet. He said he could not bear to go back to shoes. He would always produce strange sentences to be translated into Latin. I recall one included a poodle!
    No 2 was a strident communist who had a chinese husband. This made her doubly unique in our experience.
    No 3 was a large lady with dyed red hair, long skirts and big earings. No-one else dressed anything like her. She was the first lesbian I ever met. She used to take us to philosophical debates at London uni.
    I loved Latin the second time around and I think that the varied and colourful bunch who taught us were a major factor in that. We all passed O level Latin in 4 terms!

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