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Early exit

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by crazycatloveruk, Nov 27, 2018.

  1. crazycatloveruk

    crazycatloveruk New commenter

    I've posted on here before so thought I would seek some more advice,
    I've been off work for 4 weeks with anxiety and depression, last week I saw the OH and we discussed things. I never let on to them that I want to leave teaching all together so I just went along with what they said. Last week I was starting to think, okay I could possibly put up with stuff until April (knowing that I am going) or try and negotiate an early release with my head in new year etc. However the lack of communication is just making me feel worse and I really don't think I can go back there ever! I just know that I am going to fall apart as soon as I go back.
    Do you have to be on a support plan or equivalent for the union to be able to negotiate an early exit with an agreed reference?
  2. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    An extended period of ill health will flag up concerns to the school and set the scene for a "chat".

    Can you really not contemplate speaking to the HT (or similar)? I see very little reason not to be honest at this point.

    It's always better to do this personally unless you're on appallingly bad terms with the HT. The union shouldn't really initiate the contact. It looks deliberately confrontational which is something one would generally wish to avoid.

    An early exist is at the discretion of the school and relies on their good will. They need to feel they're going to be better off allowing you to go quietly and without fuss. By involving the union you're already risking alienating the school.

    I'd be honest.

    "As you know, the reason for my absence is anxiety and I simply don't see this getting better any time soon. I just foresee an even more protracted period of absence. The only thing I can think of is to resign and leave at the end of the Easter term. I had hoped I'd come back but I simply can't see it happening. Not saying I mean never to teach again but I need some time. Of course......I suppose it might even be a bit more convenient for you to offload me even sooner. If that's possible? But I'm worried about the effect on my reference...."
  3. ridleyrumpus

    ridleyrumpus Star commenter

    Did occupational health say that you were OK to return to work? If so then I do not think there is much chance of a settlement agreement if that is what you are wanting.

    However if they want you out they may agree to something.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  4. CWadd

    CWadd Star commenter


    The fact you "went along" with OH will possibly mean that it will be recommended you return. If you really cannot face it, then you need to initiate contact with the HT, as @grumpydogwoman suggests, to discuss a way forward, which includes an early release. But the school are under no obligation to grant you this.

    I would advise those who are referred to OH to be as honest as possible. They are there to help you - and if a school has no idea how bad you're feeling, they will have expectations that cannot be met, which will make you feel worse.
  5. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Yes, you could contact OH and tell them that you were too embarrassed to be truthful and see if they'd make an overture to the school on your behalf.

    There is nothing to be gained by concealing the truth from OH. You have rather shot yourself in the foot.
  6. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    Hi @crazycatloveruk. I just wanted to say I’m in a very similar situation to you, although I’ve not had my appointment with OH yet. Like you, the thought of going back is really troubling me, especially in the middle of the night!
    pepper5 likes this.
  7. crazycatloveruk

    crazycatloveruk New commenter

    Thank you for your replies. @grumpydogwoman
    The next step is a meeting with my HT to discuss things, the union were already involved from the beginning so I'm not just bringing them in last minute.

    @CWadd the general advice from people on here was not to mention to OH that you want to resign. I was completely honest with them about how I felt and how I am scared to go back etc. I wish I did not feel this way but I can't help it and I can't see it getting any better unless I do something about it.
  8. CWadd

    CWadd Star commenter

    If you feel scared at going back, then initiate contact with the HT as soon as possible to discuss options, including early exit.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  9. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Everything to be gained by putting your cards on the table.

    Once the HT knows s/he can't rely on you then s/he is likely to consider cutting her/his losses and letting you go. The money isn't your primary focus. Just a fair reference. So management may be agreeable to letting you go for the sake of some kind of certainty rather than have to hope you'll magically feel better.

    I'd still advise that you make this overture on your own though. Unless you're really too fragile and/or you've "history" with the management and think them not entirely trustworthy.
    JohnJCazorla and agathamorse like this.
  10. crazycatloveruk

    crazycatloveruk New commenter

    I am too fragile to go into a meeting on my own unfortunately, I'm likely to go to pieces. Just the last couple of days I am starting to feel like I was at the beginning again, really anxious, shaky and have not left the house today. Just had things whirring round and round in my head! So frustrating!
    1 person likes this.
  11. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    I am so sorry it has come to this.
  12. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

  13. emmysparkle

    emmysparkle New commenter

    I'm very much in a similar position. I have begun feeling a little better but then all the same anxiety feelings come flooding back. I'm so sorry I can't offer you advice and I just wanted to say that I totally understand what your going through. Take care of yourself.
  14. skellig1182

    skellig1182 Senior commenter

    If you can not see yourself walking through those doors then I’m quite sure you will get an early release. Just speak with your union and send an email to your head explaining this. Ask to be released from 31st December.

    A long time ago I went off sick with stress and I emailed the head and asked if I could be released on XX date and the head said no problem. It means they do not have to pay you sick and a supply a wage. If you’re really honest and say you would like to do a little supply or part time. I’m sure they would write you a decent ref too. My ex head wrote a very simple one to an agency and I did some work with the agency and then found another perm role. I think you need to get an end date insight and it will make you feel a lot better. It’s awful to have this hanging over you. Once it’s figured out you will feel a sense of relief and can focus on the future. xxx
  15. TEA2111

    TEA2111 Established commenter

    @Over_the_hill and @crazycatloveruk I have tried to private message you but there seems to be a problem. I'm in a similar position to you but can't be open about anything on here as it is now being investigated by the powers that be. Please message me if you need extra support.
    1 person likes this.
  16. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    Think @emmysparkle is in the HASTAW club too (having a **** time at work) Shame we can’t all meet up for dinner! X
  17. crazycatloveruk

    crazycatloveruk New commenter

    Thanks again for all your supportive comments. So sorry to hear that there is so many of us suffering.
    Not sure why I can't be private messaged! If I'm honest I didn't know that facility was available on here.
    @skellig1182 Your message gives me hope
    TEA2111 and (deleted member) like this.

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