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Dummy and a unsettled newborn that needs constant cuddles

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by ilovetheweekend, Jul 23, 2011.

  1. LO is 8 weeks old (2 weeks corrected) and is suddenly not settling and needs constant picking up or she scream, screeechs and gets in a real state. I love cuddling her but I can't do it all day. She won't sit in the chair (although has never been keen on it) neither will she lay on her playmat, which she used to happily do. She's also being a bit difficult when I put her to bed in her carry cot during the day and just won't settle.
    Any ideas on how to sooth her and encourage her to sit in the chair and lay on her playgym/mat?
    Although im reluctant to do so im toying with the idea of introducing a dummy. How do you use them? I dont want her to be one of those babies constantly sucking the life out of a dummy.
    An exhausted ILTW
  2. I don't have any tips on getting her to sit in chair or playmat as I never managed it with either of mine til they were ready to start sitting up alone. Have you considered a sling? I used one with my youngest as I didn't have the time to sit and cuddle her all day like I did with the older one. I found that she was happy being cuddled but I was able to do all the things that needed doing. She happily slept in there too.
    As for the dummy, I gave one to lo when she was around 7 or 8 weeks. I had to try a couple of different brands as she didn't like the first 2 we tried. I just used to give it to her to help her go to sleep, so I would cuddle her and hold the dummy in her mouth while she went to sleep, then once she was asleep it fell out and I didn't replace it. She's now 16 months and only has it at bedtime. She occassionally finds it in the middle of the day and wanders round with it for a little while but she takes it out to talk or eat and I hide it from her at that point. She has it a bit more often when she's teething as she likes to bite it and will bite other children if she doesn't have it.
  3. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    My daughter (10.5 weeks) likes to be picked up a lot and whinges if she doesn't get attention. As soon as you start entertaining her she smiles. She will sit in her chair, and she likes it if you rock it. She likes to lie on her changing mat for some reason, and on our bed, especially if you put the radio on.
    Maybe you could put some music on, see if that helps? I was playing itunes on my laptop the other day so my 2 year old son could dance, and she really chilled out then.
    I tried a dummy with my son when he was a baby to see if it would help him get to sleep, and i also tried a dummy with my daughter, and neither of them were interested. I was always very anti-dummy, but i thought it might help! My son was really chilled out as a baby though, nothing like my daughter!
  4. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    In my opinion, dummies are fine to use as long as babies and toddlers don't have them all day and night. I hate seeing 3 year olds talking round them. My LO is 7 months old and a very sucky baby, we introduced a dummy at about a week old as she was generally happy but sometimes wouldn't settle to sleep. Now she is a very content baby, sleeps 12 hours a night and has regular naps, which the dummy helps with. She only has the dummy for getting to sleep and I take it away as soon as she's awake, so it doesn't interfere with speech development etc.
    If you're happy with the idea, give it a go- we found the Avent ones best as they're a nice shape to suck (not that I use them!) You can limit it. Some babies don't take them and prefer sucking on their hands or a muslin.
  5. She is so sucky-hands, muslin, toys in fact anything!
  6. Our LO was very sucky and irritable for a couple of weeks at 3 months and then found her thumb! She only sucks her thumb when tired or if she has hurt herself but it has made so much difference to her self-settling. At least you can get rid of a dummy, we are stuck with the thumb I think!
  7. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    Forgot to say, a little baby will find it impossible to coordinate their hands well enough to get a thumb in successfully, and their thumb will be too tiny to give any real pleasure from sucking. My LO sometimes sucks her thumb now, but she's always on the go and busy with toys so it never stays in for long.
  8. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    Dummies are great as long as you limit daytime use once they're near talking. Also reduce risk of cot death. My kids were quite happy to give them up, as long as you 'involve' them, eg giving it to Santa, the Easter bunny, your new cousin etc etc.
    And to use the popular mums' saying, easier to get rid of a dummy than cut off a thumb!
    And dummy use means you can soothe them quickly, as long as you don't use it as a cop out, they are a good tool.
    Bit like commendations, merits in class.
  9. Bathed her, fed her and she started screaming and fighting sleep and would nt settle. So gave in and the dummy went in, tears stopped and she was happy until it fell out, so popped it back in. As she first fell asleep I took the dummy off of her (needed to give it a good little tug) and she continued sleeping.... watch this space.
  10. Yay, glad it has helped her sleep...
    My opinion on dummies..... Anything to get some more sleep....!! I tried but littley didn't like it, she gagged and spat it out. I don't like them much in the daytime for toddlers- especially when a toddler drops it, mum licks it and puts it back.

    Just to say, it does get easier. I think a lot of babies are the same in the early days. I couldn't put my daughter down for weeks without her screaming... I ended up with her in a sling.... It doesn't make for clingy babies either, as soon as she is put down she leaves me now. Quite offensive really.... If you thinkabout it, the baby has been in you for 9 months and they see them selves as an extension of you, so it must be scary when they suddenly get put down... but they all get there in their own time. I don't know any 15 year olds who still need to be carried around by their mum.

    Good luck and hope the dummy continues working
  11. I think whatever you do to get some peace in those first few months is fine. I definitely agree with the other baby-wearers as I found this a life saver in the early days. The only thing I would think about is whether you might try stopping using the dummy for settling at about 4 months or so. I have heard of quite a lot of parents who have found it has caused multiple night wakings as the dummy falls out and then baby can't find it or hasn't yet got the dexterity to put it back in for themselves. One way to do it is use the dummy to relax and settle them but take it out just before they go to sleep. They might grumble a bit the first few times but it is less likely that they will build an association with sucking and sleeping, which could cause problems later on.

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