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Down in the dumps

Discussion in 'Personal' started by impulce, Oct 28, 2011.

  1. Im being selfish and having a moan, even though I know my woe's are unjustified compared to many others situations.
    OH has been told he only has his job for another 4 weeks, he'll then only get 4 weeks redundancy pay as he's only been there 4 years. We made daft decisions in the past resulting in quite high repayments to credit cards/a car loan that in hindsight, we shouldn't have done but at the time could afford fairly easily. He has already started looking for other jobs, updated his CV and sent it out to agencies etc, but I am feeling worried and also very guilty because i'm finding it hard to have faith that he will find something in the current climate.
    He is currently a Junior CAD Technician for an Architechtural company, but never completed his degree and got that job based on a good interview/few other candidates. He's severley dyslexic and actually finds all the attention to detail pretty hard, and doesn't particularly enjoy the job. We have always had it in mind that when my wage is a little higher, and we have paid off some debts, we would save to find him doing further training.He is really not suited to the industry he ended up in, and would ideally like to do an apprenticeship into something practical or with with animals or the environment.
    However, with an incomplete degree, only 1 A-level, experience in this industry alone and Dyslexia making him look very poor on paper - I am finding it hard to be positive. Even if he could find an appropriate apprenticeship (He's 28), we would struggle to live on what it would bring in. I have had a look for unskilled jobs - supermarkets etc, and am even struggling to find anything available there.
    I am going to cut out everything I possibly can, but we still have bills to pay and the above debts to clear, and that eats into the majority of my wage. Im not here for advice on how to save money - I've got plenty of that from the other threads and am going to do my best - but I am just feeling a bit sorry for myself.
    We are not in poverty, we can afford to run our house and to eat and will not starve (hence my apology at the beginning!) but the thought of having no luxury in life at all when I am working obscene hours (Contributing to making me grumpy - new role on SLT -Its a good bloody job or we wouldn't have been able to afford to eat at all - plus many issues within school plus imminent ofsted) currently in my job is making me feel rubbish.
    Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and I just wish we'd have put up and shut up with cars etc, and put some savings away for this situation.
    At least my cats are cheering me up!
    Thankyou for listening, sorry for being self-deprivating, and I know I am being a selfish moocow :p
     
  2. marlin

    marlin Star commenter

    [​IMG]
    You really are having a rough time of it at the moment.
    No words of advice - just a hug.
     
  3. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    Hi Impulce
    I have no real advice to offer as such but I just wanted to say, for what it's worth, that I don't think you're being selfish at all. Anyone, myself included, would feel a bit fed up in your situation.
    How about your partner tries a spot of dogwalking while he looks for another job (well, you did say he's into animals!)? Do you think there'd be a market for that kind of thing in your area? You see plenty of professional dogwalkers here in Edinburgh and given the number of pooches in their charge, it can't be such a bad old living, at least temporarily.
    Good luck and don't worry about having a good old moan - we're all entitled to that at some stage or another!
     
  4. Stop apologising for feeling upset, you have every right to be, this is a traumatic situation. Loosing a job always is, even without the financial concerns.
    Being dyslexic, he will have to work harder than anyone else, whatever he does, there is no way around that.I'm dyslexic myself, so I sympathise,It can be very disheartening, particulary when others, who are not as clever or hardworkiing as I am, judge me as stupid or lazy. Like I said, there is no way around that, but a goad whinge at times to a supportive partner does make you feel better.
    If he is signing on he will need to make the the details of his dyslexia very explict to the job centre. There is a whole range of jobs I could not do, but not nessessarily ones a job centre could guess at. I can cook in a care home, for example, because the odd mistake reading a recipe doesn't kill anyone, but I've always refused to hand out medication in the same care homes, because a tiny slip up on my part could have terrible consequences. I can design market research surveys and run them,, but not record the data from someone elses research. I can't file. If you are not completely clear and explicit about the disability up front, you can easuly find yourself being labelled as akward and uncooperative.
    Good luck, anyway.Hope It all works out alright.
     
  5. Impulce I would say the good thing about this happening now is there should be some seasonal work around for your OH if you get in quick. Superamrkets are the obvious place but there would probably be vacancies in department stores too.

    I also think you have every right to be down in the dumps. Yes, you can manage, but things are going to be harder for you and there is great uncertainty about OH's employment opportunities in the future.Your problems are no less important so don't apologise for having a moan.

     
  6. Thankyou for the supportive replies. I will be suggesting dog walking to him!!
    I just wish he had used the opportunity when he was younger to go straight into something practical that would suit his skillset, instead of going into a degree that is completely uncompatible with dyslexia and he was unable to complete. Again hindsight!
    I do hope it doesn't take him too long to find something. He was on about £17k so not huge, and a drop in salary to something on a more basic level would not be too drastic - probably around £300 a month less, which is doable. But it certainly wouldn't allow us to save any aside for any future training etc for him so he would be rather stuck there.
    Does anyone know anything much about possible apprenticeships for adults, with an OK salary? (By that I mean not the £2.60 apprenticeship minimum wage, something livable.) Im not finding the internet very useful!
     
  7. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    He could register with Next Step and access all the support available on the site.
    https://nextstep.direct.gov.uk/Pages/home.aspx

    He can have an interview with an advisor (in fact as he's dyslexic and facing redundancy he falls into two priority groups and is entitled to 3 sessions). They will help him to action plan. The telephone service will tell him about the face to face service in your area.

     
  8. Is there a city farm near you? The one near where I live is crying out for volunteers so he should be able to get experience working with animals that way.
    I teach on a program for the unemployed. Any business that employs an adult on an apprenticeship from this course is eligible for a £2500 grant in order to help pay their wages. It is however extremely difficult to get an employer to take an adult on an appreniceship as they seem to prefer 16 - 18 year olds.So he is likely to struggle pursing this route.
     
  9. lurk_much

    lurk_much Occasional commenter

    I always find giving the cat a treat cheers me up.
     
  10. I really, really hope that is not "prison speak" for something unseemly.
     
  11. My husband was in the same situation 17/18 months ago. We bit the bullet and he went back to college to train to do something he wanted. Financially it's crippled us. But he is happy and is about to finish his course. We made do- and the long term is more important than the short.

    stay strong
     
  12. Unfortunately we wouldn't have any of the upfront costs needed to fund any kind of training at the moment.
    Im feeling a bit less of a grump after some lager and Hollyoaks!
     
  13. Yeah I had a good search online and apprenticeships seem to be few and far between, and aimed at those just out of school. Much as I want him to be doing something he loves, I dont think we can manage it financially for at least another two years until our car loan is paid off and we have had a chance to make a dent in the debt and put some cash aside. Plus my pay will be higher by then.
    So for now, its nose to the grindstone looking for a job. Fortunately he is one of those people who cant stand to be out of work and so is being very proactive and not just moping around. Quite a few friends are handing his CV in to bosses at work etc.
    And JB, Im so sorry to hear your news. I do hope things pick up for you soon.
     
  14. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    Unfortunately, we have found that life has got in the way of this concept.
     

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