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Down in The Dumps

Discussion in 'Personal' started by disguise, Mar 27, 2011.

  1. *At breaking Point*

    Had a spectacularly bad weekend, but for not very good reasons. It just seems NOTHING has gone my way. I know in the grand scheme of things I am very lucky... I have a home, a job (most people don't at the moment), etc but I just feel that none of those things are right and whenever I try and do something about them, something gets in my way.

    Past terrible decisions come back and bite you on the **** even though at the time they seemed informed, well thought out choices.

    And then to add to it my younger sister (10 yrs younger) does her usual Sunday dinner at Dad's 'be nasty to Disguise' routine and then I am expected to take her the 15 mile round trip home despite me having loads to do at home and despite my brother heading in that direction anyway in a couple of hours. Dad gets angry cause me and brother neither want to take her home so i end up feeling guilty and taking her even though I'd rather be in the car with anyone but....

    Cried al the car journey home after dropping her off like a stupid *** 5 yr old.

    When will I grow up, grow a back bone and when will anyone give me a *** break?! Got to go to my stupid poxy job tomnorrow again which I hate (again, I realise I sound like a spoiled brat because I'm lucky to be earning money).


    Sorry for the rant. Don't want sympathy just needed to get it off my chest.
  2. What's the core problem? Is it mostly your job? Would the other stuff be ok if the job situation wasn't so awful?
    Actually, I know the answer to that - I too have had a *****, ***, *** job and it affected EVERYTHING.
    No advice, just grim sympathy.
  3. I read your message and felt for you and just wanted to reply. As someone who has gone through it before...i would have approached it differently and now bawled my eyes out to a GP first.
    I am former teacher (and now a psychologist) and feel that you could do with talking to someone else about your situation. Someone who can work with you to unpick issues and help you make sense of it all....bit by bit. I would say that often family are not the best people to go to (the issues sound like they involve them too). Also you need someone who you can be brutally honnest with, wihout fear of being judged.
    I would really recommend speaking to a private coaching psychologist. I have done training with a psychologist called nick edgerton (google his website).
    Hope it all gets better.
  4. The job is certainly not helping matters. I feel so down at work and about work that any tiny thing outside work blows out of proportion. I have a history of depression and the fact I have felt pretty much 95% of the time teary for three weeks now scarily suggests to me it is back. I have had counselling before, several times and it helps short term but I truly believe I will always be this way as I can't erase my past and that is stopping me creating a future.

    I am as tied to the depression as it is to me. I feel so angry right now and have done so much crying this evening that I feel both headachey and sick.
  5. I was in a similar situation of tears over a three year period and honnestly felt that 'that was it'. I would always feel that way. everything was just about hidden under the surface, but ready to come out..e.g. regular tears.
    I still feel a bit shocked that as a psychologist i should have figured it all out much quicker. But everything was a fog, i was holding onto the smallest things...such as thinking it was suddenly better if i had a good nights sleep, or someone gave me some positive feedback. But any positive was shortlived and it was not long before i was back to scratch.
    Look into CBT to change your default mode 'rewire the pathways of the brain' you have nothing to lose.

  6. I don't give hugs very often ((disguise)) but you really need to know that however sh*te things feel at the moment, it won't stay that way forever. xx
  7. Thanks Cassandra. I just picked my bf up from the train station and dropped him at his place, he's been abroad this weekend. It was all I could do not to ball my eyes out. He kept asking how my weekend had been and I could feel my bottom lip quivering uncontrollably like a child's and I managed to get a 'Not bad' out. Last thing he needs is me crying at him after a seven hour journey. Especialy when he got me a lovely present. A present I don't feel I'm deserving of after all the **** I put him through. I need to try and snap out of this or he will get fed up with miserable, depressed me and leave me and that will be something else to add to my list of **** things.
    And before anyone suggests 'talking to him' about my depression... not a hope in hell. Historically that's not gone well and I would rather supress it and deal with it on my own.
  8. Thanks all for your replies. I had a better day yesterday, felt a bit teary when I got up but got progressively better throughout the day and had a good sleep last night.
    This morning I feel a bit panicky - worrying about money - which is making me teary. I need to find about 600 quid plus in the next two months and then another 200 quid plus by August. I have hen dos, weddings (not mine!), holidays, car stuff to pay for. I wish I was better at saying No. I knew when my OH and I booked our two holidays this year I would struggle to afford them but he kept insisting it'd be fine, he'd pay and I could pay him back etc. And he has paid for the flights (which is partly what I need to find the money for) but now we are also going away just after my sister's wedding to see his family as one of them are ill and I feel I should support him in that so of course agreed and that's going to cost more money as it involved another flight.

    I just don't know how I will afford it all. Oh, and to top off my mood I just got to work and got given a cover. Blooming marvelous.
  9. I'm going to use Jean from Eastender's process of working out how I feel... On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is tops, how do you feel?

    But I shall do mine on a 2 hourly basis, not daily. Currently a 7 or 8.
  10. Feeling a bit down today and no idea why.
  11. 1. Write a list of the good things you've achieved in your life, and just think about those rather than the negative things, have the list to hand so you can remind yourself.
    2. Get a big pile of books and force yourself to start reading, and force yourself to concentrate on what your reading.
    3. Watch some films.
    4. This might sound silly, but it works - buy a second hand convertable sports car and go for a spin in the countryside when its sunny with the hood down - really it will make you feel better.
  12. I've been wanting to do number 4 for a long time! Next time I have some money :)
  13. Go on, treat yourself. But get oen with an old fashioned fabric hood that you open and close by hand, not the metal or electronic hood.
  14. Listen to some uplifting opera and try to sing along with it.
    You will start laughing at yourself and that is always a good thing xxx
  15. Here is my recommendation. They are cheap as chips but still reliable.
  16. och Mr. History Guy, when are you going to pick me up for the opera? You will have to get that wee racy thing on the ferry...
    I prefer black, mind.
  17. I quite fancy doing a tour of Germany and Austrian opera houses - Berlin state opera, Dresden state opera, Vienna state opera.
  18. You sound in a bad way. Go to your doctor and tell her/him how you feel. You may not be clinically depressed, but you are at a low point if you are so tearful. You sound so responsible for everything which it is just not fair - I'm guessing you are not that old.
  19. I am very far away from all of those - but I don't mind you "picking me up" for a more local joint [​IMG]
  20. Certainly down in the dumps and at a bit of a loss.
    When was the last time you had a hug, disguise?


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