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don't know how to cope

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by sparklyrainbowfish, Jan 2, 2011.

  1. sparklyrainbowfish

    sparklyrainbowfish New commenter

    Hi all
    I'm after some advice, as for the first time in years I'm dreading going back to work and I don't know how to cope with it all.
    Back in July I was told that I have hypermobility syndrome and fibromyalgia. I am still struggling to get my head around how these conditions affect me, but am beginning to notice some things which trigger flares of my symptoms. I am still extremely fatigued and have spent most of my Christmas holiday tired as my son has been suffering from the flu and obviously needed a lot of "mummy time". I started the holiday quite ill (I think it was my body's reaction to the stresses I had at work last term) and although htat illness has passed, I can't face going back to work in 2 days time.
    I have had a very increased workload this year due to changing my leadership responsibilities - I was really happy at first as this was the role I had always wanted and finally I got it. BUT due to the symptoms of my conditions (mental, physical and emotional) I have, in all honesty, found it very challenging. I've had an access to work assessment done and my new equipment arrived in the last week of term. I'm hoping that it will make the admin side of things easier. My line manager suffers from fibro herself and has warned me not to be too reliant on the equipment, as it won't make all of my symptoms go away. And she's right - I am concerned that I will still find it emotionally challenging even if the physical side of things is as easy as possible at work.
    Without going in to too much detail, I have to write new schemes of work this year, pretty much from scratch, and I am unable to share the workload with anyone else. I have been told by a member of SLT that they are considering comptency proceedings becuase I have missed some deadlines - but each time that has happened I have prewarned my line manager and explained why (ALWAYS to do with my conditions as opposed to my lack of wanting to do the work). I have also ensured my team know what they are doing even if I haven't been able to pass on things that I was meant to by a particular date.
    I feel incredibly under pressure and feel constantly frightened of being "told off" when I'm at work. My GP has put me on antidepressants - so along with the pain medication and amiltriptyline I'm trying to cope with more drugs in my system and getting the dosages right.
    I have not felt able to cope with my conditions at all yet. And I'm now worried about getting into trouble with my job. I feel that although some people at my work do understand the restrictions that I sometimes face and are trying to support me, others are willing to discipline me for something I have no control over. I tried to contact my union rep at work but have had not reply. Just before Christmas, my consultant said he'd write a letter to work to explain how my conditions are affecting me and explaining that I need support.
    I don't know if I'm over-reacting because I'm finding it hard to cope, or whether this is some kind of diasbility discrimination. I don't know how to convince my work that I will do my best, but when they upset me it makes my symptoms worse and I am then less likely to do my job well. I don't want to give up on this job - as I said, it's the role I really want, plus I couldn't afford to give up the TLR.
    The teaching side of things is harder this year as I have some challenging classes and due to lack of staff, some of the children who really should have extra support don't.
    I just feel constantly drained and now I'm getting in a fret about going back on Tuesday.
    What can I / should I do?

  2. sparklyrainbowfish

    sparklyrainbowfish New commenter

    Sorry this was so long!

  3. As your line manager is understanding of the condition what about talking to her as soon as you get back.Or could you ring her and talk to her before you go back?
    Sorry not much help .You are obviuosly very hard working and care about your role.

    I'm not a teacher but work in school and have fibro myself.Hope you get some support and look after yourself.
    Take care.

  4. sparklyrainbowfish

    sparklyrainbowfish New commenter

    thanks balletmum
    the trouble is that although my line manager is understanding, she has to report to the SLT member who is not understanding. So she understands, but can't do a lot as she has to "report back" to the other person who doesn't seem to care about the fact my condition means I have good days and bad days. And short of popping in to the SLT person every day with a list of my current ailments, I dont think they will ever understand how debilitating fibro and hypermobility can be - especially when I'm still trying to get the meds right, still seeing the physio for strenthening exercises and to adjust my orthotics etc.
    My muscles ache just thinking about work again. Grrr.



  5. Ah ,yes I see the problem.Unless you have got fibro no one can really understand how you feel.

    If you want someone to let off steam at then you could PM me if you wish.And keep posting.

  6. sparklyrainbowfish

    sparklyrainbowfish New commenter

    thanks :)
    not only do I not know how I'll cope when I go back - I don't even know how I'll get up in time! My body has not let me get up before 10 for the last week... [​IMG] 6.30 am is gonna kill me...

  7. Me neither.My sleep pattern has gone right up the creek -due to pain.I'm dreading going back too.
    Oh well ,onwards and upwards.
  8. I know it's not the kind of comment that goes down well on here but have you considered that you're just not well enough to do that particular job?
  9. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    If you are at risk of competency then I'd talk to your union asap and see what needs to change. If reasonable adjustments have been made and you are still unable to do your job, then you would not be able to claim disability discrimination. You may have to step down from the TLR, but that would be miles better than being taken through proceedings.
  10. Hi ,Just wondering how your day went?
  11. sparklyrainbowfish

    sparklyrainbowfish New commenter

    hi, thanks for asking.
    I have coped ok at school so far - there's something brewing I can tell, but I'm waiting to hear from my union rep and as I'm not so tearful now I think I will be able to cope with the pressure a bit more. I hope! The story is by no means over - but I think I have the right frame of mind to face it now.
    Amazing how being back in the classroom teaching made me feel more positive [​IMG]


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