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Don't give your life to this role...

Discussion in 'Headteachers' started by Marshall, Jul 29, 2019.

  1. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    ...I did and it's so not worth it.

    Fifteen years of giving up everything - family, life, etc.

    No-one appreciates it - parents say thanks and move on.

    The school moves on when you've left - very quickly.

    I had a few warnings, but never really thought they knew what they were talking about. It was MY job and everything mattered.

    It doesn't.

    Life is so much more important.

    It's a pity that I didn't listen.
  2. diddydave

    diddydave Established commenter

    "The graveyards are full of indispensable people" Charles de Gaulle

    You only have to look at how quickly you have had to put a supply teacher in front of a class to realise the truth of this quote.
  3. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I worked all the hours and sweated blood at times but I did it because I wanted to. It wasn't all bad - far from it. I had some good times. I didn't do it so anyone would thank me for it - I did it for me. I was pushed out at the end, and it was harsh, but I'm not alone in that so i don't dwell on it nowadays. I gripped on long enough to get a good pension - for me again. The school that was my nemesis doesn't get that good results ten years after my retirement so it obviously wasn't my fault all those years ago.

    All part of life's rich pattern as someone said.

    The bitterness will fade if you give it a chance.
  4. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    I agree - it's all new to me and I'm having a bad, bad day:(
    WinifredHoltby and Easyasabc like this.
  5. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    :(:( Sorry to hear it.
    Easyasabc likes this.
  6. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    Feeling a bit better since I've vented!!!

    I can't do this at home due to hubs.
  7. ViolaClef

    ViolaClef Lead commenter

    @Marshall Sorry to hear you haven’t had a good day - but getting things off your chest definitely helps. I don’t think there are many left in the profession who care tremendously about their teaching and the children, who are prepared to go the extra mile and who give the school their all. There is very little real appreciation or thanks from any quarter these days. It’s very sad.

    People may say, “It’s just a job,” but for some of us that is very difficult to accept. However, being able to stop and enjoy life without the job popping into your mind every few minutes/hours is important. Finding interesting hobbies and acquaintances away from the world of education is important, too.

    Hope you have a restful evening and a happier day tomorrow.
    Easyasabc, Marshall and bonxie like this.
  8. Sundaytrekker

    Sundaytrekker Star commenter

    Sympathies, Marshall. I agree that none of us are indispensable and schools move on very quickly. However, I’m sure there were many individuals who appreciated you at the time even if they’re not there to say so now.

    I know about the long hours. I did almost the same time as you in headship. The job should be doable in reasonable hours. I used to say to my governors that I was paid more for my professional skills and level of responsibility not to work twice as long as anyone else.

    I hope you have a better day tomorrow. It’s doubly tough for you as you can’t get out and about with interesting things to see and do at the moment.
    Flanks and Marshall like this.
  9. bonxie

    bonxie Lead commenter

    It did matter at the time because it mattered to you. Now though you're moving on from that role so you'll be able to focus on getting more out of life. Rather than putting all your efforts into providing the best education you could to the children you were responsible for, you'll be able to put your energy into things that benefit you and the people you love. As you've put your own needs on the back-burner for such a long time, it may take a while to work out what you enjoy and what you actually want to do.

    I hope tomorrow is a much better day for you than today.
    Flanks and Marshall like this.
  10. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    I should not have vented so much. I loved my job and did it with joy (much of the time!).

    I want to make everyone think - you make an impact whilst you are there but you are not indispensable and readily forgotten so don't give up on other areas of your life.
  11. bonxie

    bonxie Lead commenter

    We all need to vent sometimes. It helps keep us sane!

    And you're right - it's too easy to neglect the important areas of life while busy with school stuff so a reminder now and again is really helpful.
    ViolaClef, Sundaytrekker and Marshall like this.
  12. digoryvenn

    digoryvenn Lead commenter

    Oh Marshall, I am so sorry. Of course, you must talk about your feelings and not keep them to yourself.

    I know how you feel and and know how long it will take for you to recover. You will have Okay days and very bad days.
    I don't know what to say, thinking of you.
    Marshall and Sundaytrekker like this.
  13. Flanks

    Flanks Senior commenter

    I'm not a head, but I do give my life to my job. As someone else above said, it matters to me and so it matters. Yes we are all replaceable, but I would rather it was me doing the job that I do rather than someone who didn't give a damn.

    I manage to not bring my work home, I stay a couple of hours extra at school and sometimes things get ahead of me, but this means I have my family as a pleasant change of gear when I get home. My commute helps as well, it takes me 50minutes each way, which is a relaxing start to the morning and a chance to leave work behind at the end of the day.

    It might get me in a few years time too, who knows! But hopefully I remember that I do it because I rather it was me than someone else, so it will have meant something to me.

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