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Domestic abuse

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lovelylouboutins, Dec 31, 2010.

  1. I live in a terraced house and a couple of years ago the teacher I worked with who owned it moved and started to rent his house out. A girl in her early 20s took over the house and there were a few teething problems that caused a couple of issues between us such as late parties on week days and generally being inconsiderate. A lad started to come round and we were bombarded with noisy sex but you could turn up the TV and have a giggle about that. Over the last 3 months or so there has been a lot of banging and shouting which has gone from once a week to pretty much daily. I phoned the letting agent and explained that I was worried about damage to the house and they explained he should not be there as he is not a tenant. I have not heard him hit her at any point despite the awful fuss and shouting. Christmas Eve she kicked him out and we saw him leave with all of his bags on Christmas day. Two days ago the banging and shouting has started again. It terrifies my dogs and puts me in a real quandry. I know really that the best bet would be to phone the Police but I also know how much of a problem that could cause for us as neighbours. Do I want my home wrecked, terrorised, windows smashed etc? I have no neighbourly relationship with this girl due to the reasons I explained earlier so what should I do? A very simplistic question which I know is not so easy to answer, but why let someone like that back again?
  2. Yes it would be best, and they can make it anonymous, saying that a worried neighbour saw him leave with his bags but return and have heard arguments (possibly windows open or out in the street arguments?).
    A question that can only really be answered by the person involved. It's a toughie, but I'd say you need to get the police involved. For her safety, and for your safety too.
    Hope your neighbour is ok, and hope that the neighbourly relationship can be built :)
    JSY x

  3. Thanks for your reply JSY. It is so selfish that I am doing the above and thinking about the second part of the above statement. Due to the situation I know that he would know it is me. I feel uncomfortable with that and don't want to put my household in a dangerous situation.
  4. Can you not phone and say you were passing by when you saw something that worried you? If you are so worried that you are scared of repercussions then the only choice is to do nothing.You could write to the owner c/o the agent?
  5. The police wouldn't put your family in a position of danger, they would help through witness protection (though probably not make you move and change identify...). But certainly they would help.
    Is your neighbour the end terrace or is there another property which might be affected too? Could you talk to the girl on an informal basis? Maybe go round and ask if she wants a cup of sugar?! Or to join you for a drink tonight maybe? Something to break the ice subtly.
    Whatever you think of this guy, or her letting him back in each time, if you think that there is domestic violence or abuse, and that you're worried for her, then you need to get in touch with the police.
    JSY x
  6. I contacted both the agent, and the owner via facebook. The problem with domestic violence is if she is not prepared to admit it, then no one will do anything, including the Police. I hear banging, they say it is 'DIY'.... for example. I hear shouting thay say 'everyone argues at some points'. I don't feel that I can talk to her to be honest. Sometimes I feel like storming round there and banging on the door, at least that way it is out in the open. He can hit me, I can press charges.... easy!!
  7. What has the owner said? Is he a long way away or local? Trouble is, unless it is affecting him directly he might not be bothered about it. Could you keep a diary of events and let the police have it? Seems preferable to offering yourself as a punch bag. Btw, she can have people staying there for quite a while. If he is a permanent fixture though (above 21 days is the figure I have been told) the LL might be more interested in doing something about it.
  8. Owner lives abroad. His house is being used as a puchbag and if he wants to rent it again, I'm sure that must be a problem. I told the agent he was there for more than 2 days a week because it is every day!! The agent told me a guest becomes a tenant if it is more than 2 days a week regularly. A diary is a good idea. Thanks.

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