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Does familiarity breed contempt?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Lascarina, Dec 30, 2015.

  1. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    I have just been to the doctor. I saw a female doctor whom I have never before set eyes on and who immediately greeted me by my first name. Why do they do this? I feel sure that if I used their forename instead of addressing them as 'Dr Whatever' they would think it strange. I think my forename should be used by family and friends not by people I don't know from Adam. What do you feel about this?
  2. aspensquiver

    aspensquiver Star commenter

    I agree. Doctors should know that many patients don't like this, shouldn't they?
    grantconnect and Lascarina like this.
  3. aspensquiver

    aspensquiver Star commenter

    How would they like it? Hmm?
  4. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Not at all keen on the practice.

    I shall be sure to put the kibosh on it.
  5. HelenREMfan

    HelenREMfan Star commenter

    I am not so sure - granted that some people get very nervous on going to the Dr - then first name use could be friendlier. I don't mind what they call me as long as they cure me :)
  6. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    Friendly? Cheeky more like!
  7. PussyGraves

    PussyGraves Occasional commenter

    A basic guideline is only to use first names for the under 60s. Most oldies dislike familiarity. I think it dates back to the use of Mr and Mrs in the workplace which died out in the 1970s
  8. rachelpaula008

    rachelpaula008 Star commenter

    It depends. I think I'd have been ok with the doctor IF I'd attended the surgery for a while. Having said that, some people have the knack / social skills when addressing strangers and others certainly don't. I really dislike cold-callers using my first name - such an irritant.
  9. rachelpaula008

    rachelpaula008 Star commenter

    On a tangent - in my early days of teaching I worked with a man who'd taught me at upper school. I called him Mr ........... for quite a few months, as an automatic gesture / response. It was a challenge to reprogramme my brain : )
  10. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    My elderly neighbour still calls her next door neighbour "Mrs ......." just like my mother did for many many years.

    It's the kissing that goes on here that gets me. I think some people think it's posh to greet everyone with a kiss on each cheek. I do like to kiss the people I know well and like on one cheek on certain occasions when we both feel the spirit move us. I met a woman I hardly know up at the local duck race on a muddy footpath and she came towards me with arms akimbo and there was no escape and then I had to kiss her husband too and we don't even like each other!!
    ValentinoRossi likes this.
  11. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    It's about buttressing the hierarchical relationship.
    Lascarina likes this.
  12. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    It's about minding your ps and qs and speaking when you're spoken to and treating people with respect and not being a young whippersnapper*.

  13. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    My mum used to do that with her next door neighbours @lindenlea.
    I object to cold callers trying to scam me on he phone, addressing me by my first name. I also feel a bit uncomfortable with sales people, who are young enough for me to have taught quite recently, doing it too. I wonder if it's because we're used to 'Miiiiss', 'Siiir' in the classroom.
  14. Didactylos4

    Didactylos4 Star commenter

    With getting to actually see a doctor when needed (instead of a fortnight later ) becoming less likely, I'm not sure I care what they call me when I get there
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  15. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    I'm a firm believer in looking at the person I'm talking to meaning I never have to use their name. I find it very uncomfortable if people use my name during a conversation.
    InkyP and grumpydogwoman like this.
  16. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Yes, Mrs Dogwoman.
    Sorry, Mrs Dogwoman.
    I'll just sit quiet here on the grate.
  17. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    I'm not sure, @grumpydogwoman , and beggin' yer pardon, that whippersnapper and guttersnipe are synonymous.
  18. PussyGraves

    PussyGraves Occasional commenter

    That is the sort of thing people over-60 often say;however, it's no longer the 1950s. (Maybe the rot set in when teachers started using pupils' first names?)
  19. Spiritwalkerness

    Spiritwalkerness Star commenter

    EEEk, forgive me - didn't read the post properly.

    Nothing to see here
  20. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    That's right; you can be an upper class whippersnapper like Bertie Wooster.

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