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Does anyone else's partners object to time on TES?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by kirstenpankhurst, Mar 11, 2011.

  1. Maybe you should discuss a compromise. My husband I do our own thing until dinner be that work or cook or play with the kids. From dinner onwards we stop work. It's eating together then an hour or so of tele. We go up to bed around 11 and have 'private time' or just chatting. When we go to sleep I then spend half an hour or so Reading or on tes and C plays his football ds thingy. It means I can't post much as I'm only online max an hour a day but C never complains because we've spent time together too. It's worked this way for 5 years now. Also because I check in bed I read out the interesting posts and it's a bit of a discussion. He pretends to be interested in TES and I pretend to be enthusiastic when C scores a goal. When C works late I keep TES on all evening. :)
     
  2. I am sorry Annie but your OH's behaviour is ridiculous - sleeping in the van indeed.I know he is probably still feeling rather needy following his father's death, and of course he has been away a long time, but even so he sounds like a stroppy teenager at the moment.
    Kirsten is right - a compromise is needed here. You could try limiting your TES appearances to say, 1 hour a day to begin with and then as he hopefully becomes less, well I'm not sure what word to use here, you could renegociate. I 'm sure there are things he enjoys doing without you......seeing friends, fishing, watching football etc...encourage him to do them and use the time to chat to us. You can have the two of you time and time apart as well. That is much healthier than spending every waking minute together.
    I hope this works out for you. On a purely selfish basis KC would be bored stiff without WSD to spar with!
     
  3. That "compromise" sounds like it was led by him. So what if he doesn't want to watch something on telly - does that mean no TES? He may feel a little superfluous, as your TES interaction does not include him, but that's tough - you were on your own - did he expect you to go into cold storage for 6 months?

     
  4. Thanks Cosmos (again) ....sorry my life seems to have turned into a script from "Days of Our Lives" recently....... we've been together for nearly eight years now.... we've had 'issues' as all couples do...and always been able to discuss them rationally and reasonably.... it's only been over the last year with his dad dying, that we've started having 'real' arguements. We've both got into our own way of doing things, having spent so much time apart, and to be honest, we've always liked doing our own thing and have frequently have had 'space' issues, so it's not that we're separated at the hip usually. I think you're right and that he just feels like he needs more nurturing just now..... so... we had a lovely day at the beach, had quality time.... and then had a wee drink together..... and then he actually said "We've had a lovely day.... so go and have some TES time... I know you want to...!" so, it's just a question of getting used to living with each other every day again...... and making allowances for each other xx
     
  5. lapinrose

    lapinrose Lead commenter

    My o/h is on his laptop anyway or he's at work, sometimes long days or nights.
     
  6. Oh my goodness! Your partner gives you permission to go on TES for good behaviour?
     
  7. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Yip...my jaw dropped.
    This and the househusband thread make me grateful that I live alone and having got into my routine and own wee bad habits I'm reminded by them that trying to share my space now is a baaaaaad idea.
     
  8. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    Mrs blazer doesn't mind me comng on here although blazer minor objects and asks if I can 'get off your gay teachers' site and let me use the computer'!
     
  9. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    I didn't read it as time on TEs for good behaviour as much as an acknowledgement that they had enjoyed a nice time together so time alone doing your thing was fine. Surely the alternative to doing this kind of thing is just to wait while your relationship fizzles out and dies from apathy. All couples reach the compromise that works for them or they split up. If the partner has been away for a while they need to relearn this.
     
  10. If it's working for you,go with it.
     
  11. No, he didn't 'give me permission' ...... we were having a nice chat, and I was actually perfectly happy..... but he knew that due to the time difference between here and the UK, that it was into my preferred time, so he SUGGESTED it..... I'm always on here at 6pm ish..... and don't need to ask for permission...it's what i do.....
     

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