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Do you think its possible to change?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by myweedyallotment, May 2, 2011.

  1. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    There are many aspects of my character that I don't like. I've talked this over with someone close and basically - they agreed that there are things that I do or ways that I act that aren't good. So do you think it is possible to change..change parts of you that you don't like and try to become a better person. Can you ever really put things that have been caused by your flaws in the past and move on?
     
  2. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    There are many aspects of my character that I don't like. I've talked this over with someone close and basically - they agreed that there are things that I do or ways that I act that aren't good. So do you think it is possible to change..change parts of you that you don't like and try to become a better person. Can you ever really put things that have been caused by your flaws in the past and move on?
     
  3. Cervinia

    Cervinia Occasional commenter

    Depends - give some examples.
     
  4. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    1. Procastination
    2. Coming over as agressive
    3. Not thinking before I speak - saying inappropriate things
    4. Being disorganised
    .
     
  5. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    5. Not good with money - wasteful
    6. Scruffy, untidy (goes with the disorganised)


     
  6. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    7. arrogant - self centred
     
  7. I would say 1 and 4 are linked and you can change those. It just takes a lot of work and effort on your part.
     
  8. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

  9. Number 5 can be changed with careful budgeting and planning of finances. Lots of thinking ahead and organisation.
     
  10. I think you have already done the hardest part - you have acknowledged that things are not as you would like and others close to you agree. you have identifies what you would like to change and now the next step is doing something about it. I firmly believe that we can change if we are prepared to put in the effort.
    After a very traumatic childhood that i won't go into - don't want to bore you and any way it is in the past. I decided that some things had to change.
    Set yourself a challenge - eg your first point is prorastination - ok so set yourself a few tasks for a given length of time and each time you find yourself doing something else instead - make a mental note then get back on task. when you have completed something give yourslef a pat on the back and take the time to feel a glow of satgisfction before moving on.
    Each evening take a few minutes to think back over the day and your successes.
    Be kind to yourself. This will all take time and if you expect too much you will be disheartened.
    Remember for all your faults you must be a lovely person otherwise you wouldn't have people who care and that you can confide in.
    Good luck
     
  11. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

  12. jacob

    jacob Lead commenter

    They all sound like typical characteristics of teachers.
     
  13. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    Could have been me. I've overcome both these becasue my darling husband has taught me how to do so. He is so much better with money than me. I used to be impulsive and a spendthrift. One day, around 5 years ago, I blew over £1000 in ten minutes on Bond Street. I once bought a little black Versace dress and liked it so much I also bought it in pink and blue.
    Now I have got rid of my credit cards and I think, really think, before I buy. It's not been easy, but I've done it with his help.
    As for tidiness (I was never scruffy but could be untidy), well OH is a househusband and a neat freak. I figured I must do my bit too and just got on with it. I don't see why he has to pick up my mess, so I no longer make one.
    Yes, you can change. Some things are easier than others but it is possible.
     
  14. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    So do I just wake up tomorrow morning and do it?
     
  15. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    No.
    You wake up tomorrow and decide to change one thing. Then try your best to do so. It won't be easy but just one step at a time. Don't beat yourself up if you cannot morph into superwoman overnight....this will not happen.
    Small steps.
     
  16. I think that where you may not be able to change some of your personality traits, you can certainly be aware of them, and learn to make adjustments in how you behave accordingly.
    I think it won't necessarily happen tomorrow, but you can always start working on it.
     
  17. inq

    inq

    One step at a time.
    I suffer from messy and untidy. I decided that this year for my New Year's resolution I was not going to put anything on the stairs 'to take up next time I go' as I never did the taking up bit. It isn't a big change, it should be easy to do but when I'm unloading the shopping I still have to make myself take all the bathroom bits up and put them away, but I'm doing it. A few years ago I set myself the challenge of never leaving any washing up on the side before I went to bed, yet again it isn't hard to do but getting into the habit is.
    I am still battling untidy and scruffy but I find choose one small thing to work on consistently rather than trying to change all of everything at the same time makes it more manageable.
    Speaking without thinking, try and make a rule to count to 3 before speaking if you are in work/ formal situations, your friends should cope with you being you!
     
  18. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

  19. I like this thread. I too am like this and have some worse traits. I think if I uttered some I would be either arrested or sent to the mental health dept. at our local.
    I do question that if I really wanted to change them then I would because I always end up losing out.
    How about some 'notes' around the house or in places you are in a lot.
    One note I wish I had permanently around me is 'be nice'. The problem is, I'm not.
    Good luck



     
  20. Bloody hell that must have been one **** conversation to have!
    As others have said,the acknowledgement and wish to improve them are the Big Step. I often maintain that leopards don't change their spots but that's often because they refuse to acknowledge that they are not utterly perfect as they are. It may be that you continue inwardly in your old thought patterns - you just moderate how you present them, or choose not to, in certain settings.
    Best of luck with it.
     

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