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Do you lie to your health visitor?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by moomoon, May 5, 2011.

  1. I'm off to see her for my daughter's 8 month check- and I know ours doesn't 'like' BLW.... so I will avoid mentioning that, I will also avoid mentioning we co-sleep. (She is happy, I am happy- so she can sod off!)
    So, what do you avoid mentioning? Or is your health visitor any good? Not seen mine since daughter was 4 weeks old- we were shipped off elsewhere for her other checks as they were too busy!

  2. I'm off to see her for my daughter's 8 month check- and I know ours doesn't 'like' BLW.... so I will avoid mentioning that, I will also avoid mentioning we co-sleep. (She is happy, I am happy- so she can sod off!)
    So, what do you avoid mentioning? Or is your health visitor any good? Not seen mine since daughter was 4 weeks old- we were shipped off elsewhere for her other checks as they were too busy!

  3. I haven't seen ours since her 6 week check as I just weigh her myself. I'm in 2 minds about lying/keeping things from them - in some ways I just want to be left to get on with things but in other ways I want them to see that doing things this way works! Maybe be a bit selective on the day? If she's positive about weight gain for example then casually mention "Oh we're BLW, it's fantastic". It might shut her up!
  4. Yep! I mentioned to my HV that LO had started on solids at 5months (LO was interested, watched us eat, we were just experimenting here and there and she loved the foods we gave her...) and she replied "I didn't hear that", carried on writing my notes and left it at that.
    Thankfully everything is ok now but in the early weeks when I was struggling with thrush and mastitis, there were days when I went in to get her weighed and couldn't get out quick enough so just told her I was 'fine'. Was fed up of being lectured at as LO wasn't gaining enough initially (although never dropped below 25th percentile so no cause for concern) despite her being so alert and bright eyed that she was clearly fine!
    Next time round I'll know to take their advice with a pinch of salt. I know there are some good HVs out there but wasn't overly impressed with mine so changed clinic days to a more sensible HV.
  5. undiwear

    undiwear New commenter

    I didn't lie to my HVs about what we were doing but I have been lucky that the second one was either enlightened or diplomatic and just a good HV all round. She was older and wished her daughter would have used real nappies or was willing to try a sling. All the HVs in my Trust are trained up on BLW and the ones I know seemed supportive ot if. She knew that my first was breastfeeding at two so when a stand-in HV wrote on my notes that my second was on formula at 11 months, she knew that was wrong. I remember if she knew if we co-slept or not.

    The first HV was absolute rubbish but she never challenged me on anything because instead of putting my first on formula like she said I 'had to do' I rang up another HV to say what she said and the second one came straight over and sat on the couch with me and helped me get breastfeeding going. When she visited the next time, my first daughter had put on nearly a pound in 7 days.

  6. I've never had to as she isn't interested in anything I do! I asked her about weaning and she said to start slowly at 5 months. They just weigh the baby, say 'fine' and off I go! However, I know of one who got very angry when my friend told her she had moved her baby into his own room at a few weeks old so I never mentioned that I had done the same.
  7. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    I've never had to lie. We saw about 4 different HVs anyway until my son was one, and won't see another until he's 2 next month. They all seemed ok with whatever we were doing. The one we saw at the year check was a bit concerned as my son wasn't eating much and said to call if he didn't get any better in the next month or so and she'd refer him. He didn't start eating properly until he was at least 18 months and we never called. I knew he'd get there. Besides, he was in the 98th centile for height and his weight correlated perfectly so we weren't too worried.
  8. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    This is terrible- I know the advice is to keep the baby in with you for 6 months, but plenty of people I know have moved them into their own room way before this. One friend did at 2 weeks. To be honest, our bedroom isn't large enough to accomodate a full size cot/ cot bed and I'm sure other people have space issues. Health visitors should always say, 'the current advice is...' but then let you make an informed decision about what to do. Having a go at parents just makes us question our abilities and judgement and feel guilty- not the way to happy parenting.
    My HV is quite good, she answers questions sensibly and never makes me feel like I'm wasting time even when I'm fussing about LO's weight needlessly! But I can understand why some people don't ever want to see them.
  9. lucchese

    lucchese New commenter

    We also moved LO to his own room at 2 weeks and he sleeps much better there on his own as he gets disturbed by us turning in bed, coughing when we sleep in the same room away from home.
    I haven't seen my HV since she came for the 10 day check at home. Have seen several different ones at the clinic who weren't able to help me on the various problems I had with BLW, nappin, sleeping etc. I haven't been to the baby clinic since LO was 9 months. There was are no checks in our area as they haven't got enough money and the only way to contact HVs is by leaving a message on the answering machine and by the time they contact you back (if at all) your problem is resolved. Rubbish system if you ask me, and we desperately need HVs who are more clued up and less conventional.
  10. I moved LO into own room at 4 months - didn't tell
    Started weaning early (well before 6 months) didn't tell
    co-sleeping - didn't tell
    feeding to sleep - not so much now - didn't tell
    I got fed up of them treating me like I was incompetent because I wasn't doing what I 'should' be doing and so I don't go to them anymore. I weigh him at an antenatal group - keep a track myself - if there is a problem I will go to the docs.
  11. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    They just trot out the latest fad-as we do as teachers-do you genuinely believe all the latest initiatives and paperwork make things better for children?-so wouldn't worry.
    Fads in childcare come and go. Cover them in suncream! No, let them get some sun, as many of our children are vit D deficient and get ricketd!!!!!!!!! Sometimes breastfeeding is good, not so long ago all mothers in some health authorities were advised only to bottle feed, then againrecently we were 'told' we must supplement breastmilk after 6 months blah blah
  12. undiwear

    undiwear New commenter

    Baby Led Weaning is what all parents did (think tens of thousands of years here)before baby food companies convinced parents that pre-packaged, foods is what babies 'needed' from 12 weeks old (with some parents stretching it to 6 weeks old unfortunately). Sixty years ago it was not unheard of for babies to start eating solids at nine months old, which if you hang around weaning boards long enough, you will notice is the age when most parents doing BLW find that their babies start to eat appreciable amounts of food. Selling baby foods to parents makes these companies money. There is not so much money in BLW and indeed, I didn't buy any specifically made baby food for my two with the exception of a few organix bites for in the car and outings.

    I am happy to be called a lazy parent though. I take the path of least resistance when it came to feeding and sleeping.

  13. I think it was more that my hv didn't actually know what blw is rather than it being difficult. She doesn't like to admit she doesn't know everything, and all her training was geared towards puree weaning when baby is about 4 months.
    My mum was horrified that I wasn't weaning at 3-4 months, as she had weaned all of us at 6-12 weeks on medical advice as we gained too much weight.
    I much preferred blw to puree weaning, which I did with my first 11 years ago. Blw is much easier!!

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