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Do people get nicer as they get older?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lindenlea, Jan 15, 2016.

  1. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    In an discussion about the elderly Hatton Gardens robbers, one person commented that we tend to think people get nicer as they get older In my experience people get more honest as they get older and less inclined to pretend to be lovely, when really they're feeling grumpy and a bit antisocial.
    Or is that just me.
    ScotSEN likes this.
  2. emerald52

    emerald52 Star commenter

    I think being old intensifies your true nature. Grumpy people get worse and happy people are a delight.
    ScotSEN, lindenlea and Dragonlady30 like this.
  3. RedQuilt

    RedQuilt Star commenter

    I think there's a lot of truth in that. As life trundles by we go through so many things that can change the way we think and naturally we'll alter how we think. I know that the things I've encountered and been through have knocked the hard edges off of me and I'm a softer, more compassionate person as a result. I hope that makes me nicer to be around.
    I couldn't bear to be one of those people who's dissatisfied with their lot, doesn't have a good word to say about anything or anybody and is a drain on people's happiness. Who wants to be around someone like that?
  4. JaquesJaquesLiverot

    JaquesJaquesLiverot Established commenter

    Has that "one person" never encountered old people in a queue, or seen the scowls from pensioners in the John Lewis café if a baby dares to make a noise?

    People also get more right-wing as they get older - look at the people coming out of the newsagent carrying the Daily Mail - and that's also a sign of selfishness and greed.

    Your life stage does affect your views - I became more sympathetic to my students after I married a social worker, but then less sympathetic again when I had my own children, as I wanted to scream at my KS4 classes, "My six-year old can do this!"
    Mangleworzle likes this.
  5. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    I definitely think people tend to become 'softer and more pleasant' as they mature. However once ill-health sets in then that trend can start to be reversed. Sadly!
    coffeekid and Mangleworzle like this.
  6. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    In general it is true, partly as it's easier to go with the flow than to let your true feelings be known so taking the old advice of saying nothing if you have nothing nice to say, though mainly to get through the bit that annoys you and leave it behind. I certainly just let things go without comment that previously I wouldn't. Oddly enough with people who know you well, this can be seen as a more powerful comment on the situation that actually saying something.
    aspensquiver likes this.
  7. InkyP

    InkyP Star commenter

    Not everyone does. I haven't. My Dad hasn't. I'm 60, he's 90.
  8. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    I think you exaggerate. I had coffee with a friend in a John Lewis café the other day while a couple with a very young child and a baby allowed the young one to scoot round the tables and the baby to scream non stop, without making any attempt to soothe it. I expect I scowled. I consider this to be unacceptable behaviour on the part of the parents. I don't object at all to parents taking their children into cafes with them but I expect them to ensure that the children are not a bloody nuisance to other people.

    And I think you probably exaggerate when you suggest that your 6 year old is able to do KS4 work.

    Incidentally, is it a sign of greed to come out of the newsagents with a copy of the Telegraph? Not that I do because I have mine delivered, but I just wondered.
  9. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    I can't improve on perfection. Maleficent refuses to improve on her defects.
  10. aspensquiver

    aspensquiver Star commenter

    Some old people are not very polite. They don't thank you sometimes when you hold a shop door open, for instance. If you hold a door for a young person they will usually acknowledge your kindness by muttering "Cheers".

    So much for the older generation being the ones with manners.
  11. JaquesJaquesLiverot

    JaquesJaquesLiverot Established commenter

    I didn't say that it was the work - she was much more willing to have a go at challenging tasks or try new things. That said, she was better at some things, for example times tables and Venn diagrams. She could also answer a surprising number of GCSE Maths questions from Foundation papers - it's at that point you realise how much standards have declined.

    And I'm not exaggerating about the café, either - my wife was there the other day with our (normally very laid-back) five-month old baby who got upset by something and started to cry and she was made to feel very uncomfortable by the older people in there.

    I agree with you about the parents who make no attempt to stop their children misbehaving, though - the number of children who rustle crisp packets and jump up-and-down on the seats has stopped us going to see family films at the cinema.
    aspensquiver likes this.
  12. Didactylos4

    Didactylos4 Star commenter

    To answer the original question it simply depends on the person.
    ScotSEN, Noja, ilovesooty and 3 others like this.
  13. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    Ahhh!! You've met my husband, known as Victor Meldrew? :D :D :D
    ScotSEN, emerald52 and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  14. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    Yet again, some sweeping generalisations. There are pleasant and unpleasant people in all walks of life and at all ages.

    @aspensquiver, I thank people for holding doors and I hold doors for others and haven't been aware of age differences in their responses.

    If we're talking manners though, Ithink it's poor manners to walk down the street gazing down at a mobile device, unaware of others using the same path. I think smoking in public is bad manners too, but there are young an old doing that. There are lots of university students in a nearby city. They walk in groups taking up he whole pavement- but then, so do groups of older people.

    Life stage and experience definitely colours your view. There are certain things that would have annoyed/irritated at one stage. Now I let them go. But there are other things that start to become annoying. If you're a young mum, probably children running around is normal. To someone hoping to enjoy a quiet chat with a friend, not so much. Young people often unsympathetic to older people who move slowly and older ones unsympathetic to loud music etc.
    ValentinoRossi and lizziescat like this.
  15. aspensquiver

    aspensquiver Star commenter

    @foxtail3 :
    I really have noticed it with old people - people who are over 70, I would guess. Just my experience.
  16. aspensquiver

    aspensquiver Star commenter

    I think to some extent we are all generalising. How can we do otherwise unless we have held open every door in the world - and kept notes?
  17. aspensquiver

    aspensquiver Star commenter

    As for free range kids! Argh. They always seem a lot more free range in the UK than they do in the rest of Europe, interestingly.

    I remember Ricky Gervais put young kids in restaurants into Room 101! He said that if he and his partner saw a bunch of child seats stacked up as they entered an eating place, they left. Lol
    HelenREMfan likes this.
  18. coffeekid

    coffeekid Star commenter

    I think @Lara mfl 05 has it about right.
    And @Didactylos4 .

    As for getting more right-wing, yes, I can see that happens with some old people but my mother (late 60s, one time Thatcher voter) has never been more left-wing or politicised than she is now.
    Lara mfl 05 and aspensquiver like this.
  19. Lascarina

    Lascarina Star commenter

    I can't remember the last time someone held a door open for me. I usually hold it open for other people.
  20. aspensquiver

    aspensquiver Star commenter

    I like good karma and it is nice to be thanked for being kind. How difficult can it be to say "Thanks."?

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