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Do I have to divulge what my appointment is for?

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by lisac1977, Nov 15, 2015.

  1. lisac1977

    lisac1977 New commenter

    My mum died of Cancer last year. Obviously I have been grieving and getting on with life after having a bit of time out.
    I started at a new school last Monday as a Teaching Assistant to get back into things without so much pressure straight away.
    Anyway...It was also the anniversary of her death last week and with the build up and all I went to the doctor who suggested that I went for depression/anger counselling (I'm at the anger stage of grieving)
    I now have 4 consecutive appointments on a Tuesday mornings for 2 hours after Christmas
    Do I have to explain what the appointments are for? Or show proof?
    Will they frown upon anger management?

    I guess I feel uncomfortable as I am new.....the deputy head is my class teacher.....do I have to tell him?

    Thanks in advance
  2. Kartoshka

    Kartoshka Established commenter

    You don't have to explain, but if you would feel uncomfortable saying nothing then you could say something general: "a medical appointment" or "counselling". On the other hand, you might find that people will be more supportive if you are open about the bereavement.
  3. dt201

    dt201 Occasional commenter

    My mum died of brain cancer last year so you have my deepest sympathies.

    I have no idea if you do have to tell them or not. Perhaps you could say it's counselling for dealing with your mother's death without mentioning the anger bit? Unless they directly ask I suppose, but I don't know if they have the right to or not. I'm sure someone else knows more than me.

    If they need proof of appointments perhaps you could blank out the personal bit when you photocopy the appointment letter.
  4. jonowen

    jonowen Occasional commenter

    First of all lisac and dt201, sorry to hear your sad news - my mum (in-law, but she was a Mum to me and my best friend) died last year, so I know exactly how you are feeling. It all depends on your HT - our previous HT would not allow anyone to miss a scheduled meeting without knowing chapter + verse why, and ; our new HT is the exact opposite. All your DH needs to know is that you have a medical appointment (they do not have the right to know or ask why) or if he is an approachable sort, be honest and say the appointments are for bereavement counselling, if he asks for an appointment card, ask the receptionist at the Drs. to give you one, show DH and say you will photocopy it as you need the card back.
    Oh, just re-read the previous post giving you the same advice (great minds think alike and therefore must be right!)

    Hope you are feeling a bit brighter, I have down days, think ing of Mum everyday and I believe she is right beside me and that helps.
  5. Horatio_Blows

    Horatio_Blows Senior commenter

    You don't have to tell them what your appointment is for. In any case, even if you did, I personally would say it's for something else because it really is none of their business.

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