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Do all teenagers (or almost teenagers) ooze negativity?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Doglover, Mar 19, 2011.

  1. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    My eldest is 12 and in Y8 (Y7 there).
    She has developed a real attitude over the past year or so, and is SO negative about almost everything.
    Her teachers are all idiots (well not all of them, there is the odd cool one), every other adult she knows is embarrassing, her TA "stalks her", most TV is rubbish, her sister and her friends are all freaks, her class is full of nerds, geeks, weirdos. When an adult says something boring (or even not boring), of no relevance to her etc she rolls her eyes........very obviously! Of course she is always right, and we are always wrong.......
    I am sure you get the picture. I am fairly sure this is normal teen mode, but it is very wearing, lol.
    She had an appointment with her paediatrician the other day, which was full of eye rolling, muttering, and accusations of her TA stallking her :0 Thankfully the paediatrician seemed to think this was pretty much the norm for young people of her age!
    Occasionally it would be nice to hear her say something nice about someone.
    I would imagine some of the things she does, are probably a little exaggerated by the fact she has Asperger syndrome, but I just want to be reassured that all other parents of teenagers or near teenagers are in the same boat.

  2. 12 is a "difficult" age for lots of girls. I think I was pretty difficult to live with at that age[​IMG].
    So, regarding hearing some positive things about teenagers, I can help you out!
    All of my students are 16+ and not all are seething masses of negativity by any means. Most are forging their way in life in a responsible, if not very independent, way. One of my students is a young lad of 17 with AS and is the most positive, hard-working and cheerful student I have - he's a complete superstar!
    I think they sometimes "play the part" because they can and perhaps the AS is somewhat magnifying that with your daughter, as you say.
    Looking back on the times when my eldest three children were teenagers not everything is negative at all and I'm sure you'll all come out of the other end of this "phase" with lots of lovely memories.
  3. Yes, I think it is a general state they seem to be in between the years of 11 and 19 [​IMG]
    My son is only a wee bit younger than your daughter, but the attitude is the same. We are all wrong, we are all annoying...cue lots of muttering, rolls of eyes, the occasional "Oh, mother...don't be so square and bourgeois..." (where the f.eck did he get that word from?)

  4. nomad

    nomad Star commenter

    Yes. It is one of the new hormones their brain is producing. Production of negativityandstroppyattitudeone usually dries up by the age of 25.
    There are strategies to help stop the production of this hormone. When television is 'rubbish' switch it off and sent the kid to bed. When a meal is 'boring' tip it in the kitchen bin and carry on eating your own. When a visiting adult is 'embarrasing' send her out of the room with a chore to complete to keep her occupied - perhaps getting the garden roller down from the attic now that summer is on its way.
    These and other strategies may help.
  5. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    Most of my Y8/Y9/(some) Y10 girls act just how you've described Doglover - from what I can tell they're just trying to impress and act older than they actually are.
  6. egyptgirl

    egyptgirl Senior commenter

    The eyerolling as well - if I had a penny for everytime a female student rolled their eyes, I'd be a billionaire...several times over.
  7. Looking back at my teenage years....I was absolutely horrid and have apologised numerous times to my parents for how vile I was!
    You've got some years of this to go!
  8. So was I.
    I was absolutely horrid.

  9. Bright but lazy is totally doing my head in at the moment. He has messed up AS levels and is now trying to keep up and do resits. All without any effort/studying.
    Sorry to hijack the thread but in all honesty any tips welcome.

    OP eye rolling is about all we don't have but it sounds irritating .Sympathies.
  10. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    I am so relieved!
    To be fair, I probably have exaggerated a little, but just a little lol.
    Nomad, I have taken note of your strategies and plan to start using them immediately.
    Poeme, I think the AS does magnify things, and the fact that she thinks that just because she can't see herself rolling her eyes, that noone else can doesn't help :p
    Pff, thank you for the reassurance that I have a few more years of this to go, not forgetting of course that I have a 9 yr old daughter, hot on the heels of the 12 yr old,lol!! I think I will move out now ;)
    It is nice though that sometimes, when she lets her guard down, she will still come for a cuddle :)
  11. That is the nice bit, isn't it?
    Last night, son somehow wandered over to my bed (oh, I must have sleep walked, Mum) and curled up, put his arms around me and nodded off again to sleep.
    I enjoyed it [​IMG]
  12. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    Don't worry about hijacking the thread, Eggnchips,one of her most annoying habits is not wanting to put any effort into studying. So any tips would be welcome before she gets much further!
  13. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    It is nice CQ. She does that at night too, and quite often she is actually sleep walking and doesn't remember in the mornings, lol!
  14. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    I remember this phase well with my eldest - it ended suddenly one day when she was 18 and she came in and with a chirpy smile asked me how my day had been. Astonishing but lovely and marked her transition into adulthood. My youngest is 18 and so far has shown no sign of stopping the horrible stroppy teenage behaviour but I am sure she will shortly.
  15. Son is a bit lax about studying.
    He complained that he couldn't concentrate in class, as he was at the back and his "friends" were distracting him.
    Sorted - spoke to teacher and he is now at the front. No excuse anymore!
    Hahahaha [​IMG]
    Now - homework, that is a battle. God, it drives me mad.
  16. We had the lot smoking, drinking, marijuana and attitude. Throw into the mix a refusal to go to school in year 10. Indifferent GCSEs and AS followed by a walk out of A2.
    Then somehow a miracle happened and I had a self disciplined, self motivated really sensible 18 year old. We have never looked back. He is in year 3 of 4 of a RG uni degree. If you had asked me a few years ago, if he would ever be in that situation I would never have believed it.
    It is dire when you are going through it, but it can all work out.
  17. Doglover

    Doglover Occasional commenter

    So what do people do with these stroppy behaviours?
  18. Grin and bear it, but insist that family rules are adhered to.
    There is little point discussing it. I do point out that there is a room, called a bedroom, which is available to retire to if we mere mortals are so unbearable, just because we breath.
    I am not quite sure how the hell my patience will deal with it when he fully hits puberty!
  19. harsh-but-fair

    harsh-but-fair Star commenter

    Teenage ooze should always be cleaned up promptly; it can leave terrible stains.
  20. Helena Handbasket

    Helena Handbasket New commenter

    I feel so sorry for my parents having to endure so many years of teenage girl strops. I am the youngest of 3 girls and there is only 4 years between me and my eldest sister so we were all very stroppy and hormonal at the same time.
    My mum was considered cool by most girls in my school (incase there wasn't enough oestrogen in the house I went to an all girls school too) but to me she was just a moaner and nag. We must have had about 9 years in total with the three of us being horrid to each other and in that time we had 2 failed suicide 'attempts'; 2 eating disorders; 34 GCSEs, 7 AS' and 10 A Levels; lots of tears and fights and a hell of a lot of slammed doors.
    I remember my mum one night getting absolutely fed up with the state we had left the house in that she woke us all up at 1am and made us tidy it from top to bottom including dusting and hoovering.
    We have spent many years apologising to the neighbours for all the noise we must have caused.

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