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distracted baby when breastfeeding!

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by ladymarm, Oct 26, 2011.

  1. Hello,

    Still bfeeding at 21 weeks thanks in part to great support on here so many thanks.
    I have a query. baby is now very curious and feed times are difficult at times as she pulls so hard on my nipple so she can she whats going on! Also rips herself off nipple to grin at me on a regular basis- very cute but owww! Some feeds doesn't seem to drink much at all.Aside from feeding in a silent, dark room any tips for saving nips!!! ??? I'm getting blisters all over again.... thanks!
  2. It's a bit of a phase that fortunately passes! You could try taking baby off the breast completely and relatching each time so they come to understand that playing means no milk! They may well just catch up at night, if you can bear that!
  3. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    Well done on getting this far! My friend used a breastfeeding cover that goes on a bit like an apron, initially because she couldn't get her LO latched on discreetly but then later it was because he was so nosey and it acted as a screen against distractions. Blisters- eek...maybe someone can recommend a cream that would help them heal, all I know about is lansinoh but I guess you have that already?
  4. goonergirl2009

    goonergirl2009 New commenter

    I never used one but I think you can get breastfeeding necklaces which I think are designed to give your baby something to play with so they are less easily distracted. X
  5. thanks-great ideas. Yep back on the lansinoh all over again... Love the jewellery and apron idea, any excuse to buy a necklace! Thanks all xx
  6. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    HV said always get someone else to do bottle feeds at first, they may be reluctant but will quickly get used to it if you're consistent, but it's harder if it's the mum doing it. She said just be patient, they will take it eventually, it's like verything else, sleeping, eating good food etc, if you give in they will learn they can get away with it! A friend suggested just giving cups of milk at this stage, maybe that would work
  7. undiwear

    undiwear New commenter

    But looking at it a different way Ladymarm, there is something endearing about a mum whinging about a baby who is distracted. iyswim.

    All I can say is: this too shall pass. Not nice till then but it will. They change so quickly and when she's one, you'll probably find yourself thinking how did that happen so fast? I can suggest quiet room as much as possible? My dd1 was rotten about taking a bottle and I went back to work at 24 wks. My dd2 never took one but I went back to work at 7.5 mos and I could feed her at lunchtime so she just managed to wait till she was taking enough solids to tide her over the working day. Little moo didn't take ebm from a cup either.
    How are you Lohman?
  8. Babies aren't master criminals :S

    We attempted bottles a couple of times in the early months but swiftly gave up. Got her drinking water from a cup when we started BLW but she refused milk and then about a month before I went back to work I experimented with a couple of bottles and she took them no problem - very odd. We use the Medela Calma teats - expensive but work differently to other teats as baby totally controls the flow, like breastfeeding. She still will only take a couple of ounces a day while at nursery but it seems to help her relax enough for a nap so we persevere for now!
  9. Oh, and she drinks it cold straight from the fridge!
  10. Thanks ladies-you're right undiwear. Am lucky to have fed this far, being distracted not too important!
    How are you lohman x
  11. I'm OK and the whole BF is getting better slowly. LO is 12 weeks in a few days and can't believe I am still BF. I've stopped expressing now and am totally BF but it is still uncomfortable and sometimes get blisters - but bearable now. Having said that, I have had to express a bit during the night the past 2 nights as I've been really engorged on one side as he will usually only take 1 side during the night. Feeding is erratic as well. Sometmes he will feed for 10mins every 3 hours and other times it's 30mins on each side and every 2.5hrs. Keep wondering when he will go for longer - still up twice every night! Makes me jelous when I speak to mums that are only up once or not at all and their LO's go for hours between feeds. Not sure how you can get in a routine when you BF on demand.
    I had 2 lots of swabs taken and they came back neg for thrush and bacterial infection...so not sure if I ever had thrush or if the medication cleared it. My nipples are constantly uncomfortable and are always hard - don't think this is normal but maybe it's just how my body is. I've not BF in public yet either so I'm not going out that much and when I do, I try to time it around his feeds as much as I can! But I've decided I'm going to try and get out more from now on and go to some of the parent groups that are run at the childrens centres. Can't believe how time is flying by. My HV said yesterday that I need to start thinking about childcare for Sep when I go back to work as they have waiting lists - don't even want to think about that yet.....and don't want to go back to work!! xx
  12. Brilliant to hear from you Lohman and amazing you have persevered. I still feed at least twice a night at 22 wks so don't think you are the odd one out!!! well done xxx
    I recommend checking out the childrens centres. There will be a bf group in one of your local ones or even several close by.They will watch you latch your baby on if you want and may notice some small things to tweak to make yourself more comfortable. Sounds like something is still not quite right and i know it is very hard going when in pain. Everything just seems ****.
    My local bf group was lovely and all the ladies go out to lunch after in a little cafe and bf there which gave me the confidence to bf anywhere now!
    I found cranial osteo fab for colic and asked his advice on jaw as i was struggling to feed and had a c section. he couldn't find a problem with her jaw but a friend had great results with shallow latch after traumatic labour xx
  13. Thanks for your messages Undiwear and ladymarm.
    I have been to a couple of different childrens centres to a local BF group and they all say that my latch and attachment is good. I did feel a bit out of place though as I'm an older mum (37) and the women there were much younger.There are some early years courses starting soon though that I intend to go to and hopefully there will be a better mix of ages.
    No one has mentioned cranial osteo so worth thinking about. Is this a private treatment - do I need to find someone to do it?
    Undiwear - I did try to contact Milk Matters a couple of times but it was the answer machine and nobody every called me back. But by this point I think things had started to get a little better so I just persevered. I've had good support really from the BF clinic at hospital, the doc and of course you guys! Wouldn't have been able to carry on without all this encouragement.
    Ladymarm - I'm so glad to hear that you're up more than once in the night (not glad for you) as I thought things weren't right. My HV keeps saying that he should be able to go longer and just be up once now. She's suggested just trying to settle him back to sleep on one of the wakes.....but I can't do that to him as I know he is hungry so I will just carry on feeding when he wants it. Thinking of going in to work this afternoon as people want to see him - not been in yet so feeling bad as it's been ages now. Just need to see if he will feed at a good time to enable us to go. He's due a feed anytime from 1pm so fingers crossed! How do you feel about BF now? HV asked me this and I said that although I'm very proud to get this far, I still don't enjoy it. I don't dread it like I used to but I'm always happier once a feed is finished. I know that some mums really love it but don't think I'll ever feel like that. Just to let you know about distractions as well....this morning the phone rang twice while feeding. The fist time he became fussy turning his head and the second time he actually started crying with my nipple in his mouth - just a wimpering cry but he was definitely upset that the phone was disturbing him. I had to put my hand over his ears!! Hope you get sorted with your problems xx
  14. undiwear

    undiwear New commenter

    As I said, I dont' know enough about cranial osteophathy. Please contact a BFC on one of the 4 helplines and speak about the birth trauma, (you don't need to be indepth, especially if you feel it may be too upsetting to talk about though they are trained counsellors and expect to be in situations where mums break down on the phone). An outline of labour, delivery and the first few days will suffice. Outline who you have seen since, what you have tried and where you are now. She will have questions about his birth wt, and current weight and current feeding patterns. And give more details about what you are facing now such as what you may typically experience and observe during a feed. Don't be shy to raise what I have suggested - disorganised suck - as a possiblity and ask about cranial osteopathy. She ought ot know more about it and how to access it. I don't know if it is available on the NHS or how to find a private practitioner in your area. I would take a recommendation from a BFC on one of the helplines first as they will know who is available in your area and if she doesn't know, she ought to know who to ask and to get back to you.

    Please feel free to tell me how you got on. If you'd like me to make any enquiries on your behalf via the ABM counsellors' yahoo group, tap me up. I'd be more than happy to do that. I could have details back to you in less than 24 hrs. yolanda.abm at gmail dot com

    PS I am not a counsellor, I am a mother supporter on the ABM. My scope as a MS is to identify when bf is going well and to reassure mums and support breastfeeding when it is going well. When I spot problems, I am to refer her to seek futher support from breastfeeding counsellors. So hopefully all I am doing here is telling you what is the possible difficulty and to refer you to someone who can support that viewpoint and give you more constructive information or really to tell you hmm, it could possibly be this instead so let's try this course of action first.

    You are an absolute star. Your stamina and determination is that of a mama bear.

  15. Lohman, Like you Im very proud ive mamaged to bf i can see why so many give up. I enjoy feeding. Fed in wagamamas today on one of those crappy benches!! however as soon as i get a blister/sore nipple im back to feeling low and dreading feeds so it is a bit mixed really.
    Im mid thirties too. I have a nice group of mums from NCT classes all similar age so i generally dont feel old.
    in the green birth to five NHS book it says on the 'starting solids' page that babies between 3-5 months commonly begin to wake more frequently at night again. so don't know why your hv says that. This has definitely happened to us. generally feed around 1am,3am, 6am so I go to bed early to get some sleep in!!
  16. undiwear

    undiwear New commenter

    "I had to put my hand over his ears!" awww.

    "so I go to bed early to get some sleep in!" good tactic. I also justify it as beauty sleep, to catch up for those nights I partied till 4am or thereabouts when I was a young thing.

    Yes Lohman, your health visitor is talking to the mum of a breastfed baby with the language they use to a mum of a formula fed baby. Which isn't right either. FF babies also wake up during the night and it is a NORMAL developmental stage. They are not to be encouraging babies to sleep through. Babies' nervous systems are not hard wired to sleep through the night, irrespective of feeding method. FACT.

  17. Hi,
    Ladymarm - how are thngs going now? Any less distracted? The past couple of days I've only had to feed LO 6 times which is progress from 8 times. But we've had days like this before and he quickly goes back up to needing 8 again. I'm finding it difficult sometimes to feed as well as he can be very distracted. Not sure if it's when he's not ravenously hungry that he gets disracted. This morning he kept on wriggling (he does this often and I put it down to wind) and started to cry so I eventually unlatched him and tried to wind him - no wind so put him back on and he started to cry again so I took him off. Can't work out if he wasn't that hungry, had uncomfotable wind or there wasn't any milk coming out. He's asleep now though so I assume he's had enough. can I ask - do you know if that's right? Will a baby go to sleep if still hungry? I often wonder as I think maybe he just falls asleep eventually but hasn't fed enough. But other times when he feeds well and I can hear lots of swallowing - I know he's had enough. LO is now 13 weeks old and I'm still guessing!!

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