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Disgusting version of 'What Would You Choose?'

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by bacardibreezer, Jan 14, 2013.

  1. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    [​IMG]
    You're just enjoying a nice cup of tea with your feet up and beginning to relax when, having nearly drained your cup you feel something long touch your lip and see a spider has been nestling at the base of your cup and is only just alive OR you notice a small brown lump, take a little sniff and lo and behold it is poo.
     
  2. oggiehurler

    oggiehurler New commenter

    Dead slug
    Eat a fish eye or eat a fish tail...
     
  3. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    tail
    Eat mashed potato with grilled cheese covered testicle on top or battered crispy deep fried thinly sliced penis?
     
  4. bacardibreezer

    bacardibreezer New commenter

    I really shouldn't play this when I'm hungry!
    I think I'll go for the ... ummm ... gosh I'm salivating here ...

    ...Ok, I'll go for the penis. Can I dip it in salsa?

    Eat a bowl of pubic lice (dead) or a bowl of rat droppings?
     
  5. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    pubic lice but only if I can have ketchup with them
    Smelling an unwashed tramp's tackle for 10 minutes or an unflushed frequently used loo for 10 minutes before being allowed into the fresh air and a glass of water?
     
  6. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    Unflushed loo!!
    An alternative face mask: a tramp's diarrhoea, coated thickly spread on with a rotting fish or an alcoholic's vomit thickly spread on with a rotting hedgehog?
     
  7. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    [​IMG]
    Alcoholic's vomit and hedgehog - no contest lardy
    Going to sleep with a week old packet of prawns scattered on your freshly laundered pillow or a pile of steaming, freshly dropped cow pat smoothed around your toes?
     
  8. bacardibreezer

    bacardibreezer New commenter

    Cow pat - my feet are always cold!

    Wake up one morning next to Michael Gove (wearing a contended expression and enjoying a post coital fag) or a pox-ridden, flea-ridden, vomit-covered and diarrhoea-caked camel that has just been awarded 'Ugliest Camel in all History Ever'? (Not sure whether to add that the camel also appears sated :p )
     
  9. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    I'll take the camel, please [​IMG]
    Drinking a pint of tramp's wee with an eyeball floating in it or a pint of goat's blood liberally topped with Mike Gove's dandruff and toenails?
     
  10. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    [​IMG]
    Very hard!
    I'll have the tramp's wee because it's not as thick as blood and should slip down more easily even though the eyeball will be brushing my lips - better than the toenails getting stuck in my throat.
    Spending the night in a thin tent, alone, on the hard shoulder of the M25 in torrential rain or spending the night on a dark frightening mountain side, alone, with just a warm sleeping bag and no rain, but you can hear the snuffling of animals nearby and the howling of wolves?
     
  11. bacardibreezer

    bacardibreezer New commenter

    Much as I'm tempted by the fact the poo truffles are covered in chocolate, I think I'll go for lying in the sun on horse poo. As long as the flies stay on the poo and don't land on me.
    (Why can't I do emoticons using chrome?)
    Ok - here's a tame one based on things that have happened to teachers I have worked with:
    Standing in front of the class you pull a hanky out of your pocket to wipe your hot face. You then realise that you are holding a pair of skid-marked underpants (after wiping your face)
    or
    One of the Y10s projectile vomits all down your front (and some goes in your handbag).
     
  12. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    I would choose the skidder pants [​IMG]

    Having to poo in front of the caretaker or having to strip in front of the Head?
     
  13. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    Strip in front of the head.
    You are teaching the class and some green phlegm shoots out of your mouth onto the most challenging child's desk or after work you realize you've had a blood stain on your pretty flowery skirt you adore all day.
     
  14. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    I'll take the skirt option, because it's happened to me. Infact, it was a Y2 child who pointed it out to me "Miss,you've got blood all over the back of your skirt! Have you cut yourself?" [​IMG] It was one of my favourite Per Una skirts as well, although it did wash out.
    Having to wipe up a combination of the Head's sick and the Deputy Head's poo after a staff night out or picking off dried bogies from the Chair of Governor's old hankies?
     
  15. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    Have Mike lick my ti ts
    Would you rather have prolonged s ex with Michael G or give away your house permanently?
     
  16. bacardibreezer

    bacardibreezer New commenter

    I love my house, but can't bear the thought of even a quickie with the melty gnome. Can I opt to have rohypnol? At least I would be unaware and would never remember it!
    At a new-age spa, you have the choice of a whole-body masque made with hot dog **** or drink a pint of warm dog's urine.
     
  17. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    You didn't choose properly bb
    I'll drink the urine.
    Again, you are paying a fortune at the new age spa and have to make a difficult choice between...a frog spawn jacuzzi with Mike leering at you and fondling your nipples, both of you naked or, being strapped to a camel upside down as it urinates into your mouth
     
  18. bacardibreezer

    bacardibreezer New commenter

    Again ... can I opt for rohypnol?

    Thought not. I'll leave this lovely one for someone else :p
     
  19. lardylady

    lardylady Star commenter

    This one made me laugh out loud!
    I think I would have to have the camel option, because the other one would drive me to suicide.
    Sucking the pus out of a tramp's testicular boils or giving a scrupulously clean Mike Gove a BJ?
     
  20. ShowerGel

    ShowerGel Lead commenter

    I'm laughing at them all I think[​IMG]...
    OMG - I'm in a state of desperate indecision. The BJ.
    Cleaning out the plughole in a bath which hadn't been done for 20 years and the bathwater takes 3 hours to drain away because of it or spending the night under the duvet MG and his wife having it off noisily all night - they don't realize you're there because they're so stupid and you can't get away
     

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