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Difficult last day

Discussion in 'Primary' started by moggycat, Jul 22, 2011.

  1. I was sad about how my last day ended. I have taught a year 6 class who are generally okay but with lots of low level disruptions. Basically I've had trouble bonding with them the last year even though I did try hard. I know I made mistakes and perhaps have been too strict over small things which I am trying to learn from. I think they found me a big change from their last teacher etc. Anyway I got on with some of them but not as many as I hoped. Yesterday a few of them didn't even ask me to sign their t-shirts but asked staff that they hadn't even been taught by! There was one child, who took deliberately made it clear that she was going to get every other teacher but me to sign it, I ensured I pretended I hadn't noticed she was doing it but I found it very painful. This child is very bright academically and was gnerally well behaved but for some reason never took to me I'M not sure why. I know I shouldn't let these things get to me, I should be professional etc but at the end of the day I am person and see it as a failure as a teacher. Some of my class don't like me even though I tried hard. I wouldn't mind if it was the children I had to tell off alot but a couple of the quieter boys didn't even ask me to sign, I thought we got on okay! I feel even worse when I saw the teacher next door to me with bagfuls of presents! Don't get me wrong, I did get a few and I don't expect any(!!!) but it's hard not to compare yourself. I guess I have to accept I am just not as experienced as he is yet. I feel so down and worry I will keep failing with my next class. Any advive would be great but please don't be critical as I'm low enough! Thank you xx
  2. Sorry about mistakes in this!
  3. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    My advice would be that teaching isn't about being 'liked' and I wouldn't worry about it as long as you are doing a good job of educating them. If you think that there is something you need to change with your behaviour management ask for training and observe those you think can help. My other advice is that you have 6 weeks off, so enjoy!
  4. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    Don't worry, i'm sure my year 6 class, some of the kids in there didn't like me! It never bothered me though really. And I signed about 4 jumpers on the last day, and even as you did, watched them ask other teachers but not me. And to be fair, it didn't bother me. I just thought "Thank goodness I don't have to teach them anymore!"

    What did bother me was that I bought a couple of boxes of little cakes for them, and didn't get a SINGLE thank you, not ONE. They all just grabbed and took and had handfuls and walked out to break! But oh well, perks of year 6?!
  5. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    It's very difficult as a teacher not to be self-critical, but it's also one of the things which makes us improve our practice.
    I've just finished working at a brilliant school with 'outstanding' OFSTED in all categories, a brilliant committed staff, but which closed it's doors today for the very last time due to council re-organisation. The staff were so talented I often felt inadequate as a teacher.Now I'm not a G&T teacher,just an ordinary one who tries her best, but at the end of the day some children liked me and some didn't. I had a brilliant last day with the children, who were such pleasant children to be with. Some I got through to and some I didn't but teaching is always like that. Hopefully next year they'll get teachers who will plug the gaps.
  6. Thank you Lillipad, I feel a little better knowing I am not the only one who that happened to xxx
  7. I've had Year 6 too this year and they've been hard work! Don't take it personally, they'll have had enough of school and have outgrown it. They have worked harder than they've ever done this year and are just ready to leave. They will have feelings that they have never had to deal with before and will be stuggling.
    Remember, they are just children and don't see beyond their own world. You are their teacher, not their friend and I think some older children don't have that kind of relationship with their teacher that maybe younger children do.
    Also, you will be feeling tired and ready for a break. After a few weeks you'll see things differently. Enjoy the summer and I'm sure you'll be raring to go in September!! Have you got Year 6 again?
  8. yes I have and a challenging class apparantly :(( but you are right a break will be nice, thank you xx
  9. I have mixed Year 5/6 again. I know the Year 6s already. But as I've just completed my NQT year, I know no different. I've learnt a lot this year and determined to do even better next year. I quite like the year group, it definitely has it's advantages but it's very hard work.
    I think I manage better when I don't take the things they say personally... and at times they can really make me laugh! Swings and roundabouts eh?!
  10. clear_air

    clear_air New commenter

    Ach, just be glad you didn't have any signing to do - ridiculous practise anyway! Don;t take it personally - you're paid to teach, not befriend. I still sent one of mine out of the room last thing yesterday!!! (Y5 - oooh, they're going to be a challenge next year!)
  11. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I think it is part of being Y6. My daughter loved school and on the whole liked all her teachers, but she couldnt wait to leave today, she is so ready for high school.
    They can also be particularly vindictive at this age, particularly girls, just think of all the endless fallings out you have no doubt had to deal with.
    I remember one particular full of her self Y6 girl that had taken a dislike to me. One day we had a family art workshop and I was responsible for the portrait of a teacher or parent activity. This child smirked all the way through her very acurate drawing of me complete with every single mole and spot!
    One thing to think about is how much you smile. It is very difficult to keep smiling when you are under stress with a difficult class. We have 2 very strict teachers at our school, one of whom smiles and one of whom doesnt. The kids like the one that smiles despite her strictness, yet the other isnt as popular.
  12. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    It is hard, especially when your self esteem is a little fragile already. I took on a year 6 group this year who had had the same teacher for both year 4 and 5. Last year (when I was a year 5 teacher) I was the person they got sent out to if they were badly behaved.

    I don't feel that I have really gelled with them this year, I think mainly because they spent all of last year being told 'If you don't stop that you will have to go to Miss Minnie.' They have never really seen me as a good person, just a disciplinarian type teacher. On good days I don't mind, like someone else said I'm really not their to be liked, just to teach them. On bad days, when I feel down, it can upset me.

    This was your first class, you won't get it fully right all the time. And children do look back with rose tinted glasses. 'So and so NEVER, EVER told us off/got cross/taught boring lessons/etc/etc. None of it is true.

    The present thing is hard, but lots of that is down to the parents not the children. Sometime it is just luck whether you have a class whose parents are very into presents or not.

    Just think about what you will do next year and move on...bet you have a fabulous time!
  13. bonniconni

    bonniconni New commenter

    I've had a really challenging year 6 class this year, and haven't enjoyed them at all. Today when they asked me to sign their shirts I turned them round so I could sign on the reverse and then got my own back by signing with 'Donald Duck' or 'Pooh Bear'. None of them noticed, which just goes to show how much it all really means to them, but it made me smile!
  14. Kick me?!
  15. lardylegs

    lardylegs Occasional commenter

    Please, please don't take this personally! Year 6 pupils across the land were absolutely HORRID on their last day! We had loads of pointed "I'm not asking YOU to sign my shirt" moments! We made up for it by writing "Kick me ASAP" on their backs, or "I love Jesus".
  16. OMG I SOOOOO much wish someone had posted this before I retired last summer!!! What a FAB idea!!!!!

  17. Hey! These things will always hurt - be positive about the good things!
    Some kids will like you - others won't. Some parents are supportive - others are not. Some colleagues are great - others are not!
    After 34 years teaching I have a lot of past pupils and parents who say I was the best teacher they ever had.. I did this .. that .. and the other .....I still live in the area and love it when people come up, usually in pubs, and say these things!
    But it still hurts when bad things happen, like a few months ago, my husband came in from our local pub and said some woman in there, rather drunk, had said how I was really awful and made her life miserable. I had seen her there loads of times and she had never said anything - I didn't even remember her - didn't know she was an ex-pupil - and she has never said anything directly to me since, either!
    Then a few weeks ago, some woman I could not remember as a child spoke to me in the wetherspoons, said how her life was ruined by me, how everything I was suffering over the death of my daughter was taken out on her ... she knew she could have achieved much more in her life if I had not made her feel so inadequate. She was drunk and her husband took her away ...and I was upset for a few days.
    When I eventually remembered her as a child, I remembered not liking her, being impatient with her being a pathetic little whinging wimp, and know she could not have achieved any more anyway ...
    In the end ... you win and you lose. I know I was better as I got older ... my best years as a teacher were my last. But all the time I did my best and suffered agonies of self-analysis when I made mistakes.
    Move on and forget!!! Enjoy it when you are appreciated and ignore it when you are not!
    I have in the last month,re-read and then thrown away all the cards I got over the years. I don;t care any more!!! Good luck!
    And if anyone wants to look at my website ... I am selling off cheaply all the thousands of pounds worth of books I stupidly bought as a teacher -wish I hadn't!!!

  18. I think children generally find it difficult to appreciate what adults do for them (and I would include my own children in that!) The ones who do, will recognise that you are strict for a reason, and try to be fair in thier judgement of you. The rest will always just think you're horrible. Either way, you're there to teach them - not be their friend.
    It's a bonus if you can have fun with them (and remember to smile) but it's not a pre-requisite of being a good teacher.
    Last year, I had some awful feedback from a parent, which upset me for the whole summer. Only the other week I overheard a child I taught last year say how nice a teacher I was (cue smiles) only for a child I teach now to respond with 'no she's not!'. You really can't win 'em all, and some classes will always be harder to build a rapport with than others because of the amount of discipline they need.
    I suspect we'll get better at knowing when to crack down, and when to let things go and will develop a thicker skin as time goes on!
  19. As we all know, children can be cruel. I often find it frustrating when teachers who let them do what they want are seen as being better but I know that I couldn't work with a class and let them just do what they want. It sounds like you had a difficult day but it's done now, look to the future and your next class. Is there anything you'd do differently next year? I've been tough on my class this year and it's taken me longer to bond with them than any other class I've taught. There was a point in the year where I decided that perhaps I was being a little hard on them sometimes and I tried to let them see me smile and have a laugh with them more often. The hardest thing about our job is how comments like this can really get to you but you've got to somehow put this behind you and enjoy the summer as it sounds like you deserve it! We all get comments, it's not just you.
  20. After all, they can only view the world through their ten/eleven year old lens which gives them a very distorted view of their own importance and the realities of life!
    It seems to me that some of the children in starlightangel's class are manipulative and have attempted some low grade bullying to match their low grade disruption!
    Rise above it! Be thankful the unappreciative/spoilt little dears have gone..... and don't be too 'soft' with your next class.
    From your post, I'm sure that you are a dedicated professional and that you will have done your best to relate positively to some difficult individuals.
    Enjoy the summer!

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