1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Desperately Miserable RQT

Discussion in 'Primary' started by Cupcake26, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. I don't want to be a teacher anymore. A year and a half in and I regret my decision. I don't hate teaching specifically, I resent the fact that it is my life and not my job. I love children and I hate the planning, marking, assessment, paperwork and everything else. I am sure this is the case with nearly every teacher but they seem to not be as desperately miserable as me.
    I am truly unhappy. I don't want to be doing this anymore, I don't sleep well, I cry all the time, I spend evenings and weekends doing work or if I don't I spend it moaning about the work I have to do and/or feeling guily about not doing it!! This is not the life I want.
    I am ashamed and embarassed to say I can't cope with it. I know people around me will think it's a waste of a qualification and I don't know what else I could do but I just know this cannot be my life for the next 40 years. I am currently in a school in special measures and I know this adds pressure but it's not like my NQT year was a walk in the park! I have had numerous observations (all mixed reviews!) and 'classroom visits' and book/planning scrutiny and everything else, and as much as the pretty leaflets come through the door explaining my rights about what pressures can and cannot be put upon me, we all know in the real world its not as easy as that. A young RQT joining a school in special measures is unlikely to ruffle feathers.
    I cannot just leave and do something else as I am the 'bread-winner' in our house at the moment. Without my salary we wouldn't be able to afford this house. If my husband gets a better job (which he is trying to do!) then I would happily change but until then I am just wishing my life away. I think I would be much happier as a TA. People say this would be a waste and I would be over-qualified etc. but I would still get to work with and help the children, plus enjoy more creative jobs rather than dull paperwork!! Not to mention come home to my family and a clear mind.
    I haven't met anyone that feels like me at all in my current or previous school.... please tell me there is another like minded Primary RQT out there somewhere!? Any advice on what I can do, career options etc would be appreciated.
     
  2. I don't want to be a teacher anymore. A year and a half in and I regret my decision. I don't hate teaching specifically, I resent the fact that it is my life and not my job. I love children and I hate the planning, marking, assessment, paperwork and everything else. I am sure this is the case with nearly every teacher but they seem to not be as desperately miserable as me.
    I am truly unhappy. I don't want to be doing this anymore, I don't sleep well, I cry all the time, I spend evenings and weekends doing work or if I don't I spend it moaning about the work I have to do and/or feeling guily about not doing it!! This is not the life I want.
    I am ashamed and embarassed to say I can't cope with it. I know people around me will think it's a waste of a qualification and I don't know what else I could do but I just know this cannot be my life for the next 40 years. I am currently in a school in special measures and I know this adds pressure but it's not like my NQT year was a walk in the park! I have had numerous observations (all mixed reviews!) and 'classroom visits' and book/planning scrutiny and everything else, and as much as the pretty leaflets come through the door explaining my rights about what pressures can and cannot be put upon me, we all know in the real world its not as easy as that. A young RQT joining a school in special measures is unlikely to ruffle feathers.
    I cannot just leave and do something else as I am the 'bread-winner' in our house at the moment. Without my salary we wouldn't be able to afford this house. If my husband gets a better job (which he is trying to do!) then I would happily change but until then I am just wishing my life away. I think I would be much happier as a TA. People say this would be a waste and I would be over-qualified etc. but I would still get to work with and help the children, plus enjoy more creative jobs rather than dull paperwork!! Not to mention come home to my family and a clear mind.
    I haven't met anyone that feels like me at all in my current or previous school.... please tell me there is another like minded Primary RQT out there somewhere!? Any advice on what I can do, career options etc would be appreciated.
     
  3. The Red Heron

    The Red Heron New commenter

    Its called quitting and getting on the supply circuit whilst you clear your head. You get to just teach and enjoy the kids and go home at half 3-best thing you will ever do, believe me
     
  4. Cupcake, I have similar feelings quite often, and I've been teaching for 8 years now!! I have to say that I find this time of year the worst for these feelings, mostly due to the dark days - unless I do playground duty, I don't see daylight from Sunday afternoon to Saturday morning....
    In the short term, you need to try and leave work behind you when you come home. Have a rule of not bringing work home on one weeknight every week. Find something else to do on that night - maybe something your family can do togther? Even if it's just a week;y pizza and DVD night, it will give you something to look forward to.
    In the longer term, you need to think whether you are in the right school. If you are finding the pressures of special measures hard going, start looking for another teaching post.
     
  5. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    Think long and hard before giving it up for supply. If you rely on your salary, supply could be the biggest disaster ever. But later when your partner has a job then it is certainly an option to think about.

    You do sound depressed more than anything. Have you spoken to your doctor at all? I know you will say he can't do anything as you simply need a new job, but actually he can. Give it a go.

    Lastly, the same as the previous poster, it seems to me that you are simply in the wrong school. Look out for new posts in lovely, successful schools and give teaching there a go before giving up entirely. I wouldn't last a term with the special measures type pressures...but am happy and successful in a 'good' school.

    Best of luck.
     
  6. Cupcake26, I've tried to send you a private message. I can relate to everything you say.
     
  7. I can completely sympathise with your hatred of paperwork and the ever-increasing non-teaching elements of the job. I currently work as a schools outreach officer and absolutely love it - I spend the vast majority of my time with pupils who are excited and motivated by an outsider coming into their school. Have you thought about applying for something similar?
     
  8. Thanks Red Heron. Supply teaching might be an avenue to explore one day but with me being the main earner I don't think I could risk leaving now during a recession!
     
  9. LittleMissCurious I think you are right about feeling better/worse at different times of the year, and perhaps that is just the nature of the job and it takes a while to get into the rollercoaster! I have made an effort to keep things seperate and that has helped. Before christmas I made my first from scratch home-made christmas cake and I realised how therapeutic I found it and decided I should have more projects. I have taken all colleagues old and new off facebook so that I am not mixing work 'talk' and home too much and tomorrow I am starting an exercise class too.
    I would look for another post but because I was in a different school in my NQT year (as it was only a maternity cover contract), I don't know if it will look bad to a prospective employer...
    Thank you for your comment and advice though, it's much appreciated!
     
  10. Minnieminx I haven't spoken to my doctor but not because I think he can't do anything, but because as you say, he will probably say I am depressed! From what I understand that leaves 1 of 2 options; pills or time off! I don't think either of them will do my future career prospects any good and thats what worries me.
    I hope it is just the wrong school, and I also wonder because I have had 2 different year groups in my NQT and RQT year I haven't had the chance to re-cycle any planning and so everything is from scratch. I know there are a lot of circumstances currently making my RQT year harder then it may be for others but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel these days! Thank you for your best wishes [​IMG]


     
  11. Sillow

    Sillow Lead commenter

    I have suffered from depression in the past, and still do to some extent. You can always ask for counselling from your GP; you don't have to take time off and any decent GP will recommend you for counselling in the first place, or at least alongside taking pills. Also, do check any LA Employee Assistance Programme (details should be displayed in the staffroom or toilets somewhere) offered, as you can receive counselling through them.
    Crying all the time and having no motivation can be symptoms of depression and the longer you leave it the more difficult it is to get your life back on track. Please look after yourself!

     
  12. I know how you feel, I seem to be like a hamster on a wheel from 6.30 Monday till Friday evening. My mind buzzes with things that need to be done, people I need to speak to,and so on and I often find it hard to get to sleep. I dont have any magic answers but can understand that it doesnt help having to do everything from scratch. Bear in mind what a wonderful tool GOOGLE is as you can often find really good planning that just needs tweaking to suit your class rather than starting with a blank page. Dont reinvent the wheel someones already done it for you.
    Hoping you turn the corner soon.
     
  13. The Red Heron

    The Red Heron New commenter

    The only reason I suggested supply was believe me, I have been there, was at an awful school with a workaholic HT and DHT from Sep 2008 to Dec 2009 and it nearly drove me under totally. I left as the main wage earner, was pro active in supply (sent out a CV and covering letter to the nearest 50 schools, registered with 3 diff agencies and worked everyday (apart from 3 in the entire spring term) met some wonderful people, staff, children and most importantly contacts (for the future maybe) it kept me in the profession...got a full time job at one of my supply schools (a leafy village school) which I am still at now, and even though it can be tough and we are struggling a liitle with standards the people are lovely, unlike my other school where they were just workaholic robots with no personality. It really changed my life at a time where I was feeling desperately low. I hope you get through this...remember there are thousands of schools out there and they're all different, some are idyllic, down to earth and gentle and some are run like banks by bureaucrats and accountants...make sure you do your background research so much before moving to your next school. Best of luck
     
  14. hammie

    hammie Lead commenter

    loads of good ideas on here that should help you
    I had a similar problem, but after 20 years not as an nqt, i joined a school emerging from sepcial measures. disaster for me. breakdown and time off. now doing supply and loving it! Unfortunately broke but the bank balance is gradually recovering. But better broke than dead!
    Take a step back, make a decision and stick with it. You have many years ahead of you, so make decisions now that you can live with for the next 20 years!

    good luck (and don't worry what other people think, you are the only one that has to live your life)


     
  15. I agree you need to see the doctor. If you leave it things will only get worse. It is better for you to have time off school then to end up seriously ill. Your health is more important. I know how you feel,I am the only person earning in my household so cannot change jobs or go onto supply. I am feeling totally disheartened myself at the minute. I didn't become a teacher to spend hours completed paperwork and working every night and weekend. I feel like the kids are assessed to within an inch of their life and every week there seems to be another tick list or document that needs to be completed. I have moved classes every year and so know how you feel about not being able to recycle plans etc. but I would highly recommend searching the resource bank on here to find plans etc.. I have used the website for most of my planning this year just adapting activities and objectives to meet the needs of my class. Sometimes it can be difficult to know where to start but the resource bank on here is fabulous. Hope you feel better soon x
     

Share This Page