Hi I wonder if anyone could give me a hand with this? I am not feeling great and whilst I don't want to fight on with a losing battle if it's now a case of the chemicals being all wrong in my brain, nor do I want to be putting the onus on a doctor to cure me if it's just the case that I'm unhappy and that the solution lies in my hands. Obviously, no-one can diagnose me but your thoughts would be really helpful. Feeling as follows: - I've sort of given in and 'accepted' that the world is a horrible place, that I'm mysteriously cursed and/or just a genetically appalling person or else that I do everything wrong etc. Feel as though I want to 'stop trying' although I'm not exactly sure what that would entail. - Still having difficulty processing/coming to terms with the circumstances of my pregnancy and the last two years of my life etc. I don't know why this is. I can rationally break it down and I'm aware that Lite's dad really isn't a particularly worthy person but even so I feel like I can't get over any of it and, unfortunately enough, this presents as feeling as though I'm not over him. This is then embarrassing, because he was a total waste of space and not very nice to me and I know that it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. - Not keen to see people/do things, although I know that this would generally help my mood I also know that I'll either beat myself up for some small thing that I did/didn't do afterwards or else feel annoyed because they don't 'get it'. I don't know what 'it' is, though. - Don't really want to meet new people. Feel as though people are horrible. - Bit scared to go out. On its own this would I think be overcomeable, but on top of weather/time restraints/getting baby and self ready and planning things like food, seems impossible. - Cry a lot, for not much reason. - Issues with food, ongoing. - Can't visualise good things - the only things that I think would make me 'happy' are a) impossible and b) probably wouldn't anyway. - No confidence, even though again this isn't rational. Having said all that: - I do hold down a job and look after a toddler by myself, I'm aware that this is not a recipe for relaxed living, but I manage both pretty well. - I do love the baby very much and enjoy work - anxiety attacks aside - when I'm there. - The last few years haven't been easy but I've dealt with them, also am not starving or on a slave ship or concentration camp, also shouldn't expect life to be happy all the time. - I don't always feel rubbish and sad, although I mostly do these days. - Am not sleeping well just now, which doesn't help anything. - It's winter and the end of the Christmas term and traditionally a time for teachers to feel ****. Went to the doctor a few month's back because of anxiety-type things - he recommended me to counselling. I've had two sessions so far and I guess that they must be helpful (I think they're moving me on etc) but I do seem to leave them saying "Yep, everything's really rubbish..."