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Depression and staying at home

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by Kirley, Mar 26, 2020.

  1. EmanuelShadrack

    EmanuelShadrack Star commenter

    Really good to hear from you @Kirley. I was wondering what had become of you.

    It sounds like things are improving, which is of course excellent news.
    Personally it takes me many many hours to organize stuff. Far more than I feel it "should". There are endless decisions to make about what to do with various items, and it all takes a toll on my mental energy. Overcoming the initial inertia is by far the most difficult thing though - "a job begun is half done" as the saying goes.

    Yes, do continue coming on here for a chat. There are other threads when people can argue amongst themselves, and show how clever they are etc, but not all threads are like that.
    Lalad, Kirley and Lidnod like this.
  2. bookeater

    bookeater Occasional commenter


    Have look at HealthUnlocked, key it into your search engine.
    It has a positive well-being community that would be worth a look at.
    Be kind to yourself and remember everyone can feel depressed with the situation we are in.
    My husband passed away in 2017 and I have only just sorted out some of the non-important paperwork. You know what needs to be done but doing it is a different thing.
    It took me over 12 months to accept Bereavement Counselling and once I did it did change my approach.

    See what you can find online that will help you.
    Talking about the TES community I have made the decision not to reply when someone dislikes my politics and they can be rather cutting. (Knowingly or not) It has not stopped me posting , be your own gatekeeper. If you don't like the tone of a post ignore it.
    Take care, be safe.
    ms honey, Lalad, Lidnod and 1 other person like this.
  3. cycomiz

    cycomiz New commenter

    so sorry that you are feeling low. I guess to make yourself busy, you can start by decluttering your space. If you need someone to talk to you can chat here and post and I'm sure a lot of people would respond
    Lalad, Kirley and EmanuelShadrack like this.
  4. sunshineneeded

    sunshineneeded Star commenter

    Good to hear from you @Kirley, and glad things are looking, even in a very small way. You are taking steps in the right direction - de-cluttering can be a very therapeutic activity. Anything with visible results can have a very uplifting effect on well-being. I'm glad you've been accepted for one of the volunteering roles you applied for; I know what a lengthy process that is … when OH cut down his days at work, pre-retirement, he wanted to volunteer at our local hospital (pre- COVID). After two telephone interviews, he was invited to come in for a face-to-face interview. After that came a 'suitability' test morning. The whole process took about 4 months before he was eventually accepted!

    I'm struggling a bit myself this morning - I've been doing OK with it all up till now, but OH has developed a cough. He's fine apart from that, but we've started our 14 days isolation from yesterday. Suddenly I feel very claustrophobic!!!!

    Best wishes and keep posting.
    Lalad, Kirley and Lidnod like this.
  5. Lidnod

    Lidnod Star commenter

    Yes, do keep posting. I do think that lockdown in this pandemic can amplify our negative feelings and that sharing how we feel, knowing someone else feels the same, or simply cares enough to respond, can help lighten the load. I am going to quote a Facebook friend:

    It's not surprising we get times when the situation gets to us. We are used to freedom and doing mostly what we want when we want. It is an emotionally tough situation but there are some good things about. I love having time to hear the birds when normally I'd be rushing off to work. I love being able to get up a bit later. I've had a chance to recognise my inner introvert! It's great putting on a face pack knowing nobody is going to knock on the door. There is an air of calm in my town and there has been less crime. Its great to read how people are helping other people even tho they don't know them. I love seeing new leaves on the trees and the birds building their nests. The weather has been wonderful for a whole week...
    Lalad, Kirley and EmanuelShadrack like this.
  6. Kirley

    Kirley New commenter

    To @EmanuelShadrack, @HistoryEducator, @cycomiz, @sunshineneeded and @Lidnod, grateful thanks for your continued support and replies on this thread. Once again I have been touched by your compassion.

    Good to know that I'm not the only one! Not having a lot of storage space but having a lot of "stuff" is difficult too.

    HistoryEducator, thank you for alerting me to the HealthUnlocked website, there is so much to learn from there. Sorry to read that your husband passed away (I had a bereavement the previous year, though not such close family as you - still the grief hit hard and comes back from time to time) but I am pleased that bereavement counselling has been beneficial to you.

    You're absolutely right and the evidence is here for all to see. I am really glad that I posted here as it's been so helpful to have understanding and support from other people.

    Seems like they definitely wanted to ensure your OH was the right person for the role as his route certainly took a long time! Sometimes I think that the volunteering is deliberately made so complicated in order to put off timewasters (certainly has been the case when I did hospital radio many years ago and in more recent years for stewarding). I hope your OH's cough improves and everything crossed that you don't get it too.

    I wholeheartedly agree! Also from your quote: it is really nice to hear the birds singing, the roads are so quiet without cars rushing by every few minutes, hardly any planes above - very peaceful!

    Stay safe everyone!
  7. bookeater

    bookeater Occasional commenter

    I was so glad to read your post.
    Remember every day is a new start if you didn't manage something to start again.
    My daughter is a list person I am not but when I say I really need to do something she writes me a to-do list that is do-able rather than a list that has no end.
    Be kind to yourself.
    Take care.
    Kirley, Lalad, Lidnod and 1 other person like this.
  8. @Kirley I have been through very similar feelings to yourself and have had cbt. It was the best thing that happened it really helped clear my head and helped me to help myself. There are a few tools online that you can use if you are on the waiting list- which I am sure will take some time. https://www.psychologytools.com/professional/problems/anxiety/ these are very similar to what I was given during my sessions.
    My other saviour has been exercise, if you can get on to a zoom class then it will raise your spirits a lot of trainers are doing them and most are free. Plus you get to meet people and see other faces which i think does help.
    Lastly I've had a magnetic bracelet, sounds really weird but I heard that it can help with hormonal and general well being I wasn't convinced but I thought what do i have to lose? So I've tried it and it has worked or its had a placebo effect. Either way i feel less stressed in situations and much more positive each day when i wake up. I wear it all day and night except for when i shower.

    I hope this helps, I am a newbie too, so not part of any clique, take care of yourself xx
    Kirley, Lidnod and sunshineneeded like this.
  9. Kirley

    Kirley New commenter

    Thank you @Demimum and @HistoryEducator for your replies. I hope you're both as well as can be in the current circumstances.

    HistoryEducator, I am a listy person! My lists have no end but I don't stress about that because I totally agree with
    Demimum, welcome from a fellow newbie! Your link has a lot of helpful information which I think would be useful for me and other people that I know so thank you for that.

    I have been doing more exercise recently (more walking as sadly there isn't space at home for a zoom class!) and you're right that it does help in feeling more positive. I didn't know that about magnetic bracelets but I will look into them - like you, I'm of the opinion that it can't hurt so it's worth a try!

    I hope the sunshine is helping to lift everyone's mood!
    Lidnod likes this.
  10. KellieWise

    KellieWise New commenter

    Sorry you are feeling like this. I sympathize. I've been struggling with depression for years. I know what it feels like when you have no one to support you. Sending virtual hugs.

    I hear you. There are a lot of self-centered people out there. I struggle with boundaries too. I've learned the hard way how important it is to maintain strong boundaries and stand up for myself no matter what. Be kind to yourself. Don't let anyone invalidate your feelings.
    Lidnod likes this.
  11. nicovalla@yahoo.com

    nicovalla@yahoo.com New commenter

    What advice would you give yourself Kirley?

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