Hello everyone, I am an NQT who is feeling really down and just needs to write how I'm feeling somewhere and ask for some words of reassurance. I qualified this summer after finishing my Primary PGCE. It's been a really hard year - I had a terrible final placement with an absent mentor and a nasty class teacher who made everything ten times harder than it should have been. My link tutor was very supportive and saw right through her, so I passed with a good grading. I specialised in MFL so I spent a month teaching abroad which was very tough at times but I was glad I did it. When applying for the PGCE, everyone told me to choose the language specialism as schools would be impressed by it and the previous government at the time were trying to integrate primary languages in the curriculum. I now know different - schools don't seem to care that I have the language specialism and the languages scheme seems to have been abandoned. I feel like it was a waste of time and hard work. I have applied for countless jobs in my area (South East) and have been to about 7 interviews. Each time I have been rejected with the same feedback - "your lesson was really good and you gave some great answers in the interview but unfortunately this time you were a close second. You were a strong candidate so I'm sure you'll find something soon." I am so fed up of hearing this. I have followed all the advice on this website and I don't think these schools realise how much effort goes into each interview. I spend hours preparing a lesson, planning my answers, spending money on printer ink and paper for resources. I feel sick on the day of the interviews because I want the job so much. At the end of the day I feel exhausted and then I'm told (usually late in the evening) that I wasn't successful this time. I just want them to honestly tell me why, because I'm never given anything to work on. It's all positive and sometimes I just want to say "well why didn't you give me the job then?!" Sometimes I think I'm tired of putting myself through it for nothing. I know it's all experience but what use is it when it is now July and my hope of getting a job for September is gone? I know I am not the only one in this position but sometimes it feels like it. Most people on my PGCE course have jobs and many secured them back in March/April. I was happy for them at first but now I find it so difficult to hear it. They are constantly talking about meeting their new class or updating their Facebook status to something about their new school/job and it makes me feel so depressed. Some of these people put in the bare minumum effort on the PGCE - they turned up late, messed around in lectures, didn't bother doing assignments until the last minute, scraped through placements, spoke about how they were hungover in school and only went into teaching because they couldn't get another job - but they are the ones with jobs. I had a 2 hour round trip to uni, tried my hardest on placement even though it was difficult and worked for hours every evening. I kept telling myself it would be worth it in the end when I was happy in a school with my own class, but that hasn't happened. I don't mean to sound bitter but it is very difficult to see certain people getting hired on their first or second interview when I know they put in half the work I did and treated the whole thing as a joke. I am now looking into other jobs as I don't feel confident enough to do supply and I need money to pay my rent and keep things afloat financially. I hate being unemployed and I honestly didn't see myself in this position. The next few months of my life seem empty to me, with no job and nothing to fill the days. It's going to be really difficult seeing my PGCE classmates starting their jobs in September too. I never thought I'd be in this situation and it's so awkward too, especially as my family often ask me why I don't have a job and I have to explain that I went for interviews but no schools seemed to want me. I would love to get a job for an October or January start but don't know how realistic this is. Just don't know what to do anymore and feel like giving up. Sorry for the essay but I'm feeling very sad and wonder why I did all this in the first place.