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Depressed and Desperate

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by munky, May 19, 2011.

  1. having returned to work after a period of sick leave ia hvae been very nervous and frightened. I have been told repeatedly by my H/T no to talk to members of the department about what happened, what lead to my time off or how I have or am feeling. They kept emphasising my responsibility and pointing out that people look up to me so I shouldn't worry them or they will think less of me. I am continuslly told that my colleagues are not my friends and I have to be professional - in other words keep my distance and not be socially involved.
    is this normal procedure? has anyone else experieinced this treatment?
  2. I think this is absolutely horrendous, if you are not allowed to make friends with the people you work with, when are you expected to meet people to become your friends and social circle. Does the HT expect you to sit home alone and live your social life sat in front of a computer on facebook or is she against that too?
    Can I ask, was the incident/situation that sent you off on sick leave something that happened in school (be careful of posting too many details on open forum that may identify you-you never know who reads these forums). If it was then it sounds like the HT may have neglected her responsibility for duty of care towards the staff (ie you) and may be trying to stop you talking about it to cover her ar.se.
    If this is the case, apart from posting on here for support, contact the regional office of your union with all the facts-including all the events leading up to your absence, not just the stuff since you came back, and see what they have to say.
    If you want to sound someone out more before talking to your union, feel free to PM me.
    Take care, JJ
  3. I once worked for a HT who didn't want staff talking to each other. He seemed to believe that all conversations were 'gossipping' even though the staff were really good at liaising about students need, behaviours and progress. He went to tremendous lengths to keep staff apart.
    If you have another meeting tell him you don't like to discuss it so could he put his directives in writing for you. Keep the piece of paper but don't pay much attention to the writing on it.
    Find yourself a good counsellor possibly through your GP. They will help you to recognise the difference between problems generated by you and other people's mental problems. They will also help you to develop coping skills which will make you stronger over time and improve your confidence.
    Good luck
  4. That's appalling. It makes it sound as if you should be ashamed of being ill. If you need to talk you could join a peer support group like
    You'll find a lot of support and advice from people who understand.
  5. How awful for you. It's highly professional to develop relationships with your co-workers. Doesn't your head know what networking is?

    Do you think your head might be worried about information about your illness passing to students? Sometimes this happens if all the staff know about it, and it makes life very difficult for you.

    I think it's more likely your head is just micro-managing you to death and making suggestions on how to conduct yourself that are way too personal. It does happen a lot. I was off with depression too and my deputy head told me that my posture when I sit in a chair needed to improve.


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