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Deathbed regrets. So how would you like to be 'remembered'?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Lara mfl 05, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    On another forum read Theo's comment to a poster
    "All I can say is what someone once said: "No-one ever has a deathbed regret I wish I had spent more time at work."
    So what do you think would be your deathbed regret?" set me thinking.
    Something I said to someone recently, about how I <u>hoped</u> people would 'remember' me. Not for having a clean and tidy house and being well-dressed etc. (which is what my mother believes is important) But for having 'time to listen', 'times when my children remember me just 'playing' with them and having fun, rather than being too busy'.
    So what about you? Any thoughts?
     
  2. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    On another forum read Theo's comment to a poster
    "All I can say is what someone once said: "No-one ever has a deathbed regret I wish I had spent more time at work."
    So what do you think would be your deathbed regret?" set me thinking.
    Something I said to someone recently, about how I <u>hoped</u> people would 'remember' me. Not for having a clean and tidy house and being well-dressed etc. (which is what my mother believes is important) But for having 'time to listen', 'times when my children remember me just 'playing' with them and having fun, rather than being too busy'.
    So what about you? Any thoughts?
     
  3. I have enough to worry about without adding a worry for when I'm actually dead ;-)
    Seriously. I don't care how I'm remembered. I'll be dead.
     
  4. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Were you listening to pause for thought this morning?
    No one ever died with an empty in box.
    5 Things that a palliative care nurse wrote about people's regrets and things they'd wish they'd done.
    http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html
    Wish I hadn't worked so hard Can't be accused of that - but wish I'd had more faith in myself at work.
    Wish I'd lived a life as true as possible to myself - well done that one now!
    Wish I'd have the courage to express my feelings - well one person knows how I feel about them but feelings aren't reciprocal.
    Wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends - that's true - one big regret.
    Wish I'd let myself be happier - well I think I've been happy but I've also had big periods of being unhappy. Am now doing things to make myself happier but not sure if one of the things that would make me happy is going to be tricky.

     
  5. As someone who cared.
     
  6. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Interesting link robyn. No I hadn't heard pause for Thought this morning.
    [It's looking at my Mother with her Alzheimer's which has got me thinking. All the 'things' she considered so important are now proving to be completely meaningless. Her life has been 'reduced' to about 10 stories, only 2 of which are 'happy memories' So sad! So I'm trying to write a positive epitaph of her life from a positive view.]
    As to the questions, if my life ended this evening
    couldn't be accused of not 'being true to myself' -it's been one of my maxims in life
    <u>have</u> kept in touch with friends from many periods in my life and have loved catching up with news of them in their Christmas letters
    <u>have</u> worked hard but hope I've had time for people and been able to put the work on one side when they've needed me
    definitely can't be accused of <u>not</u> 'having courage to express my feelings', sometimes to my husband's embarrassment
    But for me I do wish I'd been happier when times were good, and recogbised them as such.Am not a naturally 'glass full' type of person, tending to follow my 9late) father's maxim 'Hope for the best and prepare for the worst', erring on the side of preparing for the worst.

     
  7. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    My main deathbed regret would be that I was in my deathbed.
     
  8. Bethannie

    Bethannie New commenter

    I'd like to be remembered as someone who was always honest. And as someone who made a difference....just to one person....actually just to be remebered would be kind of nice - I honestly believe that when I die the world will go on - some people will feel a moment of regret and then get on with theor lives. I;ll soon be forgotten - but isn't that true for many?
    I could have regrets that half my life was wasted by **** inflicted on me my others....but on the other hand. I survived it...and that survival has shaped the person I am today, so regrets don't seem appropriate.
    I could regret that my big plans....for my life, for reforming education, for ending worls poverty, for reforming the Church...none of this was ever completed!...I had such big ideas...I was going to make such a difference....and here I am alone, unemployed and disabled!....apart from the odd e-mail to parliament and MPs - there's a limit to what I can do now...someone else will have to do the work!
    Circumastances mean that there is a good chance in the future that I will end my own life. (I will <u>not</u> die alone in a home strapped to machines!....I'll die in a place of my own choosing after a pleasant last meal, a glass of cider and watching a favourite DVD....the exact details may change!)...I trust/hope that there will be no regrets here.
    I believe I can either have regrets which will get me nowhere, or accept that the past made me what I am and work with what I still have.
     
  9. oldsomeman

    oldsomeman Star commenter

    I think i would like to be remember for being excentric and mad...unfortutantly im not either and so il probabaly just slip on by.
    I would like folk to remember me for what i did than said...and to say do you remember that old Bug ger that used to be on the forums etc
    As to dying i have no fear..but it would be nice to die doing something enjoyable or different such as making love or sky diving.....but i dodnt suppose ill get that wish ! lol
     
  10. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    I'd like to be remembered as an optimist.
    There's a joke in there somewhere!
     
  11. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Bethannie,
    What a wonderful wish "I'd like to be remembered as someone who was always honest. And as someone who made a difference....just to one person..." I'm sure we're all much more influential in small ways than we ever realise this side of heaven. The comment " accept that the past made me what I am and work with what I still have."shows a real maturity and I'm sure you pass that on to others.

    oldsomeman
    " I think I would like to be remembered for being excentric and mad" Now we all need some of those people in life, makes it all so much more interesting

    lindenlea
    "I'd like to be remembered as an optimist." what a wonderful thought(no hope for me I'm your born pessimist.)
     
  12. I would like to be remembered as a good mum. Just that would be lovely.
     
  13. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    pennyrichardson
    "I would like to be remembered as a good mum." I'm sure if that's your wish your children will pick up on that.
    It's very similar to my own " be remembered for the times when my children remember me just 'playing' with them and having fun, rather than 'being too busy'.
    <h2> </h2>
     
  14. I would like to be remembered as a good friend, as someone who brought fun to a range of situations and always had time to listen and offer good advice to those who needed it.
    Oh and someone who has done little harm to anyone else.
     
  15. wiemaranerlover

    wiemaranerlover New commenter

    I would like to be remembered as a good friend and confidante to my daughter, I'd also like my partner to have fond memories of the time we had together, and I hope we have many more once we retire.
    I also hope that some students would remember their daft, ditzy, scatty, teacher with affection!
     
  16. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    JRTowner
    " I would like to be remembered as a good friend, as someone who brought
    fun to a range of situations and always had time to listen and offer
    good advice to those who needed it
    ." Would certainly agree with that having read some of your posts.
     




  17. Ahh Lara that is such a kind thing to say. *blushes*
     
  18. I'd like to be remembered as someone who listened well and who didn't spend too much time bitching about perceived problems. (Can you tell these are things I'm still working on?)

    Ummm... I suppose I'd just like to be remembered fondly, and inspire a wee tear that I'm no longer kicking about. Indifference would be the worst kind of remembrance, wouldn't it? Worse even than just being forgotten about.
     
  19. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    I'd like to be remembered as a good mum. Simple really. Being a mum won't be my only role in this life but it will be my most important.
    Despite already having three children, the thought of the responsibility still scares me a bit!
     
  20. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    This thread has been refreshing to see how many people have got their priorities right.
    coffekid
    " I'd like to be remembered as someone who listened well and who didn't
    spend too much time bitching about perceived problems.

    (Can you tell
    these are things I'm still working on?)"
    Aren't we all coffekid!
    &
    tartetatin
    "I'd like to be remembered as a good mum. Simple really. Being a mum won't be my only role in this life but it will be my most important." It most certainly is tartetatin!
     

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