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Dear Tom... Year 6 with serious anger problems... advice?

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by Tom_Bennett, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. Tom_Bennett

    Tom_Bennett Occasional commenter

    Hi there
    This is a sad situation to be in; it sounds like a variety of methods have been tried with him, but because there is a lack of consistency of approach, he has intuitively realised- because children are almost always smart enough to know what they can get away with- that he can continue as he pleases.
    You're absolutely right to identify the main problem that there is a lack of a consistent strategy. This happens a lot in schools- no one wants to resolve this issue, so everyone just does the bare minimum so that they can then ignore the problem, hoping that someone else will deal with him. Well, as a secondary school teacher, I'll tell you what happens next- he goes to a new school, and if the same thing happens to him there, and unless a miracle of character happens, he leaves school with next to nothing, having caused irreparable damage to himself and others along the way. It's a symptom of a greater tragedy in education, and it's not your fault.
    Your next step? You've shown that you care, so continue to do so- but the primary strategy at this point is to prevent him damaging the education of others; make sure that every time he erupts there is a place already planned for him to be removed to. Make sure that you, if no one else, are the one adult he can rely on to be firm, to set boundaries. Park the rationalisations- as you see, he doesn't act like this because he doesn't understand something- he acts like this because he wants to. It's a decision born out of character, not reason. So be the immovable object; be the bulwark against his own selfishness, so that he knows there is a line beyond which he should not cross.
    It's a long shot, but it might just be the most important intervention he ever gets. And keep pressing senior staff to take this seriously; he shouldn't be placated, he should be confronted. Some children need a little steel more than others, not because we enjoy being adamantine, but because he needs it. I wish you every success.
    Good luck

    <i style="color:#1f1f1f;font-family:Arial,sans-serif;line-height:16px;background-color:#e5f4fb;">Read more from Tom here on his personal blog, and follow him here on Twitter.[/i]

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