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Dear Tom - how to deal with young children 'winding up' a child deliberately!

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by anon760, May 22, 2011.

  1. We have a little boy in Year One who has behaviour problems. Majority of his problems stem from his chaotic home situation, there is a CAF being put in place to support the family and Social Services are involved as there are other younger siblings also in need.
    The difficulty is that his peers, a small group in particular, seem to be taking great pleasure in pushing the buttons to make this child react. I observed this first hand during a playground duty, and while not excusing child x for lashing out, I do think the other children are often 'winding him up' particularly during lunchtime breaks.
    This has now resulted in parents coming in regularly to complain to the headteacher that this child is 'getting away' with hitting other children. The head and staff have explained to parents that no one is getting away with anything, but without disclosing to other parents what is being put in place it is rather difficult. I can see how from their point of view it does appear as though sometimes nothing is done. What do you suggest we should do with the peer group? What would be a good way of explaining to 6 year olds about the consequences of this behaviour. We do have an assertive discipline scheme in school, operate 'Golden Time', and have recognised rewards and consequences. We are dealing with the child with the problems, but feel we do need to address the issue of the others who may not even realise how damaging their actions are. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
  2. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    Do you punish the children who are deliberately winding him up? Do they miss golden time or whatever for being so horrible to him? If nothing happens to them for being nasty then they won't stop.

    I would explain to the class as a whole, without this poor child in the room, that I had noticed some very unkind behaviour towards him. That children who deliberately upset others are being cruel and that we won't allow it in our school, because we want a school where children are kind. I tell them that I was going to be watching really carefully, as were the other staff on duty (you will have to enlist their help or go out yourself every day for a couple of weeks), and there will be stickers (or whatever) for any child you see being kind to this particular child. But if you see anyone trying to upset him then they will be losing golden time.

    Can you get some older children to teach this young boy how to play? To teach him how to play with a ball or whatever. If the others in his class want to be seen to be being kind, then they will also want to join in and it could have great benefits for your whole class.
  3. Henriettawasp

    Henriettawasp New commenter

    Tell the children that this is a form of bullying and take it from there.
  4. Tom_Bennett

    Tom_Bennett Occasional commenter

    Completely agree. This needs to be nipped now, before this boy becomes the monster that he's in danger of allowing himself to be portrayed as. I've seen kids like this in secondary: poor, wretched students, trapped by a bad reputation and their retaliation to wind-up merchants.
    The tormentors are bullies themselves. Keep a close eye on them all, and any time someone says an unkind word that presses the wrong button, make it absolutely clear that they've done a terrible thing. Better still, enforce a 'no-fly-zone' between the antagonisers and antagonised, and that way any one that breaks it is clearly the culprit, and can be dealt with accordingly. And make sure that you clearly spell out why this is wrong to them all, so there;s no misunderstanding.
    Good luck
  5. Thank you all for your replies. The child was absent today so have had circle time with the other children and made sure they are all very clear about the school rules and what would be regarded as bullying. Have spoken to all the other staff and middays and we are all going to keep close eye on situation. There is going to be immediate sanctions for any child deliberately antagonising the little boy. Thanks again for your help.
  6. Poor boy. I wonder what he will be like in 20 years' time and how grateful he will be to know that his teacher cared enough to ask advice about how best to support him when he was tiny. [​IMG]

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