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Dear Tom, getting off to a good start?

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by Tom_Bennett, Jun 15, 2011.

  1. Tom_Bennett

    Tom_Bennett Occasional commenter

    Just leaving examination period Hell, so apologies for the delay in replying.
    1. One approach is to take a rational strategy with him- even though he's so young, he still needs to be told what the expectations of him, are, and what the consequences of different behaviours will be. Keep the definitions simple; keep the language appropriate for his age.
    2. Make sure that he understands what you are telling him. As you do so, emphasise that you want him to do really well, and it doesn't matters what's gone before, if he can start again and be good for you. Show him that you care about him, to a professional extent. If you storm in with 'Behave or else'...well, that might work with a few kids, but it sounds as if he's already had a lot of experience in confrontation, and he may just see that as another opportunity to kick off against you.
    3. That said, the behaviour you expect of him needs to be non-negotiable. If you say to him, 'You mustn't shout out in class,' or 'You mustn't swear at people,' then what you DO will affect him a lot more than what you merely SAY. Show him that your behaviour instructions are not to be broken. Apply sanctions whenever he crosses the line.
    4. If he starts to kick off on day one it is VITAL that he sees how his behaviour leads to removal, etc. Make sure it happens, and have a strategy ready in place BEFORE he arrives- who will take him out, to where, for how long, and who you phone, etc.
    5. Sounds like he needs consistency, clear boundaries and structure. Provide it.
    6. Make contact with the parents and the child before the year starts, on neutral terms, before anything bad happens. That way you have a relationship with the family that will pay dividends if required. And the child sees that the parents are involved with, and support you. We can only hope.
    7. Praise, praise praise, when he does something good. This praise needs to be genuine, proportionate, and not at the expence of the others. I.e don't shower him in glory if he says hello without spannering someone. But you might want to take him aside and say, 'You've done very well today- I'm pleased with you...' etc.
    And good luck
  2. breadmaker

    breadmaker New commenter

    Thank you for your reply

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