So, I work in education and my child is in secondary and has Tourettes (yes the sweary kind) his form tutor made him leave the room, I work in a PRU so I can empathise with the difficulty he has with my son, so I wrote an open letter to my sons tutor....... Dear sir, I understand that there has been a conversation between you and my son that was quite negative. I have his statement and I do understand it is just one side of the story but I still want to address it. From what has been shown to me it states that you sent him out of lesson and then said that he needs to be more responsible and independent and to leave the class when his Tics start. It also states a comment from you about him making you look bad. So here is my reply I agree that he needs to be resilient and responsible and independent. I know he needs to sometimes think of how his Tourettes affects those around him, at home we refer to it as safeguarding others. He is a typical teenager and in no way perfect I am the first to admit that. But, in order for him to become independent and to be responsible he needs to be shown how, he needs coping skills and adults and peers that can set a good example. After years of waiting for a diagnosis and finally getting help, we have implemented these skills for the end goal of being able to be a responsible adult and be confident. We get it wrong, we try different strategies and some work and fail. What has worked and will work is if he can thrive in a safe environment whilst not only gaining academic qualifications but also be able to interact with adults and peers. He needs to be given guidance and sometimes may need a reminder that he can have time out or a simple question to gauge his feelings, a simple 'hey, are you ok, your tics are bad, can I do anything for you or do you want some time out'. How we talk to each other is very important and we have to stress this more than ever with Chris because his vocal Tics make this harder for him. We have had to ensure that he feels safe in school and he knows staff are there to support him so his mental health is positive. We need to show him that he and his condition are accepted and understood. He really is not in control of his Tics. To help and support him now means he will be resilient, he will be independent and can take responsibility of his actions whether morally or socially in later life. This all starts and progresses in the classroom. I understand the frustration, the disruptive nature of his Tics and the enticement of asking him to stand outside so you can get on and have some respite. As a parent I totally get that. Going to the cinema for one is a minefield! But we dont stay away from those situations, we encourage the challenge of doing things in public. What people dont see is the pep talks beforehand, the worst case scenario possibilities, picking out films that little children wont be in, picking off peak times, phoning the cinema manager so they have a heads up, timing it so he goes in when it's already loud so his Tics will be drowned out. This is for one trip out. As a parent I cannot tell you the amount of times I've been given the 'look'. People staring, whispering, giggles and even people coming up to me to berate me on my terrible parenting, so I do understand that he makes me look bad, but I would never let him see this or know this. He's a child, the world is tough but he's my child and i with the support from school will teach him, accept him and be his safe place. I have worked closely with the school, ensuring he has people and places to go to and for staff to have information to be available on Tourettes to read,to explain the condition. Chris does understand his condition affects the people around him and hates that it does. All I ask is that next time you see his Tics are bad to speak to him, to offer him support or time out with dignity. I'm asking that next time you feel your stress levels rising and your tolerance level is sinking when dealing with Chris that you stop and think of the challenges he has to deal with. If others are being distracted think of ways of diverting their attention or openly talking about it with Chris. It's hard I work in a PRU and do really understand. We get things wrong but we learn and move on and I hope you read this and can understand.