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Dear Sage and everyone, Two days in and I want to quit

Discussion in 'NQTs and new teachers' started by s4mm13, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. Dear Sage and everyone,
    I recently took up a post at a fairly difficult school near bristol/bath, I started the two weeks before the Easer break, on a supply basis, shaddowing the teacher who is leaving.
    I am now two days into my official contract (temporary for one year maternity cover), and really don't think I am up to the job.
    I constantly have butterflies in my stomach, and even thinking about anther lesson is making my eyes *****.
    I feel awful. They ask you at interview are you still a firm candidate, but after spending some 'real' time in the school, it really isn't right for me.
    I really don't know what to do.
    I'm so lucky to have this job, but really don't know if i can do it.
    Any advice welcome
     
  2. GloriaSunshine

    GloriaSunshine New commenter

    Give it a chance. If it's secondary, this is a tiring but easier term than others. Starting at Easter has its own problems and exam classes may be feeling resentful and not ready to give you a chance, but in September, you can make classes your own. Once the exam classes leave, school will seem a calmer place and you'll get an idea of your timetable for next year. Make sure your lessons are planned so that you are not overwhelmed with marking but so that your students feel challenged and realise that you are to be taken seriously. Hang in there - you sound very young and new things take some getting used to - it doesn't happen instantly, especially in difficult schools. Also, look outside of you department for friendship and support. School is about the relationships with staff and students, not just about the teaching.
     
  3. I agree with Gloria: give it a chance. Inductable jobs are few and far between these days and you are certainly lucky to have one - pop over to the unemployed board for a look. And you can leave at any time later, too. You only have one term to go before a long(ish) summer holiday.
     
  4. I do realise how incredibly lucky I am to have this post.
    I have been a long term poster on the jobseeekers forum myself and know first hand how difficult it is at the moment.
    I don't know where all this self doubt has come from. I'm teaching GCSE areas I've not done before and am feeling out of my comfort zone it what is a difficult school about to go through the process of becomming an academy (This was not known at time of application or interview).
    I don't want to let anyone down, and am desperate to do a good job, but am doubting my ability to do so.
    I know I need to give it longer, but these feelings are very strong.
     
  5. GloriaSunshine

    GloriaSunshine New commenter

    What subject do you teach?
     
  6. Design Technology,
    I'm a RM specialist, but have been given GCSE classes in Graphics and Catering.
    I'm having a crisis of confidence in my ability to take these classes and do a good job.
     
  7. GloriaSunshine

    GloriaSunshine New commenter

    If they're y11, you should be able to find lots of revision material online. For y10, talk to your HoD and make sure you know exactly what you're doing and what you need to do in this half term. If it's not clear, ask. If there is something you are worried about, ask and get it sorted. Check out the DT board and ask questions. Better to ask now and understand than struggle. You'll feel better if you know what you're doing.
     
  8. Thank you for all your advice GS.
    S4mm13
     
  9. Just wanted to thank GloriaSunshine and Spool for your comments and advice.
    After having a chat with some great colleagues I'm feeling much more positive and ended up having a good day.
    Thank you for your support.
    S4mm13
     
  10. GloriaSunshine

    GloriaSunshine New commenter

    Happy to hear that. There will probably still be difficult times but it will get better and the longer you're in school, the easier it gets. Starting anew in September, it will seem like a different school. The new intake will assume you've been there years and you'll look like a permanent teacher to the others. It's easy to stay and hard to do, but you must know what you're doing and be confident. Even if you don't know what you're doing and you're quivering inside! We all put on a show and that's what gets easier.
     
  11. Middlemarch

    Middlemarch Star commenter

    Good to hear you're feeling better, but here's a true story that might help you cheer up even more.
    I taught in my first school for just over five years before being appointed as a head of dept in a different, much more challenging one. By mid-morning on day 2 I was in tears in the deputy head's office, saying I clearly wasn't up to it, had been found out by the kids, was ****, etc. She gently but firmly told me to stick at it, that it would get better and I'd been appointed for a good reason.
    The first half term was hard, but the upward curve was incredible and by the beginning of the second half it was like I'd been there all my life.
    Fast forward two and a half years and on the back of the success I experienced, building a very successful dept and driving it forward, I was appointed assistant head in another school, then four years after that a deputy in another school. Only three years later, I was a headteacher.
     
  12. :eek:) There is definitely hope for me yet!!
    Thank you for sharing, it really makes such a difference to kow that I'm not the only one who has ever felt like this.
    I hoping that it keeps getting better.
     

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